|Reviews for Pieces on a Chessboard|
| Tune4Toons chapter 1 . 6/12/2013
Ahh, you got a nice little piece here. (Hehe imagine the even -heavier- stuff if you end up delving deeper someday.) So you definitely managed to touch on the lighter bases of the beginning stages of PTSD (without the need to get unnecessarily gory, good good :3). There's only so much the game shows, so it's nice to see someone bringing the enemies' perspectives as well.
If you're really looking for crit though, guess my main bit would during the thoughts Robin has. Be careful not to lump too many together since it could detract from reading flow (personal opinions of course, as that's style and not concrete, but yeah, setting a reading rhythm for yourself during edits and run-throughs will help tons with flow if you haven't tried that yet). Besides, you wouldn't need -every- question stated when it can be (and may already have been) implied, right? ;) (eg. wanted to flee, threat of harm, etc.)
Yeah, that's basically my thoughts there! So Robin/Cordelia's all yours? XD Nice! And you even have a multichpter, aye yah, already so far ahead haha. Cheers!
| Gunlord500 chapter 1 . 6/9/2013
Heavy, but very well done indeed, my friend. I can't really say much to improve this...this was an excellent little one shot. Great portrayal of morality on the battlefield. :thumbsup:
| Kaiser Spartan chapter 1 . 6/5/2013
This is truly one of the better stories I've seen in a while. It captures the heaviness of the war in a manner befitting to the Avatar's personality, while demonstrating the burden and risk of being a tactician (becoming numb to the fights, treating it as a game, while having to worry about his allies). The subtle hints of a relationship between him and Cordelia is a bonus for me as while (blatant shipper) but is done in a manner that does not draw focus away from the main issue, choosing whether or not to spare the soldier and to maintain his ideals. Beautifully done, please continue writing in the future.