|Reviews for Blame|
| SLotH4 chapter 11 . 3/12/2018
That was a fun read. You've taken a depressing path and turned it into something heartwarming.
Also, the bad ending you made was suitably gut-wrenching on my end. Hisao's anger, consuming him like that. The only way it could have been more depressing is if he or Shizune ending up killing themselves. So good job on that.
| The-Sarcasmo chapter 11 . 6/12/2017
I just wanted to tell you that you did a really good job extending the storyline of the VN. It felt really believable about Misha and Hisao continuing a relationship as Shizune continued to sulk. There were a few moments that felt cheesy, but that also felt in spirit of the source material so it flowed really well as an extension. I also want to applaud you for the ending, since it is always hard to find a good moment to stop telling the story but you picked a perfect spot to end it. Keep up the good writing!
| KaiSaeren chapter 11 . 3/21/2016
I have to admit, this really felt like an extension of the VN itself, all the characterization, the writing, the awkward and somewhat unbeliavably stupid moments were just perfect, just like the real thing.
Your writing is also excellent, and it made me like Misha even more :)
That being said, I am very surprised that you didn't delve into some things (just like the VN itself)
I really wanted to see somethings and have an answer to few questions. For example what in the world was up with Shizune and Hisao's "relationship". I gather that her being a bad girlfriend was one part of him being upset at her and yet it was never brought up. She basically never had any kind of intimacy, no kissing or anything like that with him (apart from the sex scene, and what the hell was up with that too), she never introduced him as her boyfriend and to my knowledge no one in the school knew they are dating, since there was never any sign of it.
Of course the issue of Hisao comforting Misha, i mean it was never really answered. Did she actually like him already when she wanted him to comfort her, or did she do it to be closer to Shizune or something twisted like that? (actually untill she said she was in Love with Shizune in the VN, I thought that the big issue is that she liked Hisao as well) And how it happened that she fell in love with him.
With this goes together the fact that she loved Shizune, literally loved and even said while with Hisao that this is the first time she has done that with a guy. So she obviously was/is lesbian or bi as the case may be. But they never talked about it, dont tell me that Hisao would not be curious how come that she is dating him now, when she was in love with Shizune for years. It was never brought up and it was very disctracting, it deserved to be adressed.
She also never said she loves him back, which together with that made me still very weary even at the end.
Those are just my personal ramblings tho, honestly you did an excellent job with the story, it was just as odd as the VN itself, you inwardly want to yell at the characters about how stupid they are behaving, while having literally no clue as to what is actually going on and where it will lead and stuff :D like i said, it actually perfectly fits into the KW universe, amazing job.
I am just ranting because i personally like full closure in everything and also fluff :D
Please write more stuff
| Ommadawn chapter 11 . 3/16/2016
Wow... just... wow.
You captured the style of the VN, and the personalities of the characters perfectly. This is now my head-canon for what happens in the bad Shizune end... and is vastly better than the good ending, in my opinion. The use of the music is a brilliant addition as well, and really leant atmosphere. I only wish it were longer!
I'm a newcomer to Katawa Shoujo, and am only starting to delve into the fan fiction for this remarkable story. To be honest, I'm still walking around, partly dazed, partly depressed, and very quiet as I ponder the VN and what it did to me emotionally. Your story had an equal impact, and I can't think of a better compliment to give it.
| mattstark66 chapter 11 . 10/27/2015
I know it's been a long while since you've finished this story, but I wanted to post a review anyway.
Wow. Just... wow.
I want to write so hard about how your story got to me, but i find it really difficult to find the words for that. Kind of like Rin, I guess? (by the way, I loved the bit with Rin. It was amazing, in character and managed to infuse a large smile onto my face)
Moving on... what do I actually want to say? Well, for one thing, your writing is superb. Few to no mistakes, well constructed sentences, great pace to the story, amazing dialogue. I was nothing short of addicted to this piece and had to read it all in one go (the writing is compelling, if my rambling didn't make it obvious enough).
About the characters, their personalities were handled flawlessly and Kenji's positive switch at the end was believable and didn't seemed forced at all. It was interesting to see a new side of Shizune, a coward side to her that didn't appear in the visual novel. Well, it sort of appeared at her bad ending, but it wasn't explored, but I think you catch my meaning. I loved reading more about Misha and you really shone in your characterization of her. She's such a complex character (to be fair, pretty much everyone in KS is complex in their own way) that hides behind a mask of glee to prevent anyone to see how much she suffers. She's one of the greatest characters in the VN, one that sadly doesn't have her own route. Which is why a route of her own was such a great read. Hisao's character was also amazing, with all the insecurities and self-pity that he has. In every route in the VN he manages to screw something up (and it wasn't even a player's decision sometimes!).
I always look forward to read a KS fanfic with a different girl, after all, after playing through all 5 routes it's nice and quite refreshing to see a new take to the story. And reading such a well written Misha's path was awesome, to say the least.
Also, the way you suggested tracks of the VN thoroughout the chapters was an amazing idea. It helped wonders with the immersion, and at times it actually felt like I was playing (reading) the VN again... which is probably why I was so touched by this story. Katawa Shoujo was one of the best things that I have ever come upon during my whole life. It impacted me a lot. I'm honestly not sure how much I love it. To say it's a piece of art (a masterpiece, why not?) would be an understatement, at least to me. And it sucks at times, because eveytime I think about it, I can't help but feel a sense of melancholy. It's such a bittersweet sentiment. It makes you (me) laugh, cry, and hope against hope that it won't have an end. But unfortunately, everything eventually has an end. With this story it wasn't different. When I was reading the last lines of this final chapter, I couldn't help but have a sad smile on my face. I remembered the feelings I had after finishing each route of the VN: I was so happy about the "good ending", but also feeling a kind of void in my chest, like something was missing. It's kind of weird, isn't it? To get this affected about a piece of text?
Also, on a side note, I haven't read chapter 9 yet. I never got the bad endings in the VN, and to be completely honest, I don't know the details of most of them (Shizune's being an obvious exception). I'm awfully bad at dealing with heart-breaking moments, and I haven't mustered the courage to actually read the bad ending of this story. Yes, I'm that sensitive. But it can't be helped hehehe.
I guess what I'm trying to say is: this story affected me the same way Katawa Shoujo did. I loved it. I laughed, cringed at Kenji's antics, cringed at Hisao's stupid decisions, cheered fot the girls that manage to put pu with Hisao, and cried a bit. I will cherish it for the longest time.
And for that, I thank you.
| billly chapter 9 . 8/5/2015
damn. that was genius!
| Angel'sLove447 chapter 11 . 6/1/2015
I am a huge fan of Katawa Shoujo! It is my favorite visual novel of all time and, although I don't do this normally, I also 100% completed the game!
That being said, I was always curious about how someone would type up a Misha route that ended happily and that was altogether very intriguing and fun to read!
You are a phenomenal writer! I was totally hooked from the very beginning, even re-watching the Terminal scene to have context for where your story was starting from, as painful as it was. Incorporating the music tracks was a very nice artistic touch on your part, and I feel like each of them fit the mood that you were portraying. I was able to visualize every scene that you came up with, and you even surprised me by throwing a choice into the story as well, one that took me a second to decide on, but ultimately led me to what I believe is your good ending! )
You portrayed the characters extremely well! You took the ending of Shizune's route and re-worked it to turn it into this. You should see if someone could turn this into a route that could be fitted into the novel as an expansion. I'm sure a lot of people would love it! Then again, it is your story, and you have the right to do with it what you will! I just think it is exceptionally done!
Thank you for writing this and your supreme gift as a writer in general. I can only aspire to be as fantastic as you are! Keep up the great work, and never let anyone make you feel like giving up! You're incredible! )
| SomeDeadMan chapter 4 . 1/2/2015
I know it clashes with the tone, but Rin is apparently one hell of a wingman.
| DearSfan31 chapter 11 . 1/30/2014
I must say, this is everything i was hoping for when i got on ffn today looking for a good Katawa Shoujo fic. It was rather long, VERY well written, and had me hanging on to every word. So much so i read the whole thing in one sitting. You're very talented. The way you had the characters interact with one another, coupled with the fact you added a sound track to each scene, made me feel like i was playing an expansion to the game itself rather than reading a fic. I fully enjoyed reading this. Thank you
| drakenichols1 chapter 11 . 11/9/2013
At first when I saw the summary I thought to myself, "Oh, lookie! Continuation to the Bad End. I've seen this in other stories before!" Heh, this story surprised me.
So "Blame" is a fanfiction that serves as a continuation to Leaf Studios' "Katawa Shoujo's Shizune Bad Ending". This is written by fellow-fanfiction writer "pip25". As stated, it takes place right after Shizune breaks up with Hisao, and it leads him to the road of recovery from yet another heartbreak since Iwanako.
The story, of course, follows Hisao Nakai, a high school boy who transferred to Yamaku for the special and handicapped after suffering from a heart attack and diagnosed with arrhythmia. After playing through the scenario of Shizune's route you're bound to come across the Bad Ending if you make some wrong move along the way. Believe me, I got this ending in my first try and I didn't like it one bit.
For those who've gone through this route you'll also know of how complicated and strained Hisao's relationship becomes between him, Shizune, and Misha. And because of those events, pip25 managed to use that as a set up for Blame. And by God, he executed this flawlessly!
I like the monologue and dialogue of this story. Like the VN, the story is told through Hisao's perspective. So of course this is character narration, which would differ totally from third-person perspective. And I felt that pip25 did a damn good job at writing the narrative EXACTLY how Hisao would speak and think. He kept him in character and made me believe that this could have been taken directly out of the VN had this story been canon.
Hell, he even noted certain scenes on where you should listen to tracks from the original game to fit the atmosphere. Like I said, I felt like I was playing through the VN. It makes me wonder if this guy was the actual story-writer of the game. Haha!
Characters are the same yet we are introduced to different sides of their personas. I knew for a fact that Misha wasn't all bubbly and full of rainbows, but delving deeper into that side of her character brought to light of the answers to many questions I've had since finishing the route. The insecurities and secrets hidden deep within her mask are all laid bare as soon as she and Hisao form a relationship with each other. An OFFICIAL relationship, mind you.
Shizune was pretty much in character as well. And I could very well see her acting the way she did if their friendship remained strained. Her fear of getting close to others because of the fact that she could no longer view them as subordinates but as equals is a very realistic trait of someone who wants to stand above others. At least that's how I perceive it to be. I'll check again when I get the chance.
The tension in their strained relationship is so suffocating that I myself feel very frustrated. It's moody. It's depressing. It's everything pip25 planned it out to be. This story did what it was supposed to.
And then we get to the interesting aspect of this story. You'd think that this couldn't get any more similar to a VN, but you'd be wrong. In the end of Chapter 8 we are given a choice to either proceed to Chapter 9 or skip to Chapter 10. Not gonna say what the choices are, but they each obviously determine the outcome of the story, which would lead to a Good or Bad ending. And this was DAMN well done!
The scenarios of what if and what could have been are laid out into these chapters, all the consequences of Hisao's decisions are thrown in and we see just how this affects the characters directly involved with him. Hell, even Kenji's reaction surprised me. Turns out he may have some sense when it comes to acting on plans that may bring about the downfall of him and his friend.
This story tugged at my heart strings, it enlightened me on how one's actions, no matter how simple, can easily affect those around me. I find myself resolving to be more careful around my circle of friends. My family knows who I am yet my friends still know very little, and same goes for me. And the judgements that Hisao makes in this story has given me new perspectives on how to go about situations that would usually leave me lost on what to do.
This is not just any story I found on . This is THE story that has forever changed my life. I find myself looking at my friends in a different way now. They act like they do, but it doesn't mean that is how they truly are. And the wrongs some people have done to me aren't biased. They have their reasons. Be it good or bad, they have their reasons.
This is the longest review I've ever made for a story. I dunno, I just had so much to write about this. I feel like I can't express enough of my love for this wonderful story. It was realistic, it had scenarios I could easily relate to, and it's got a balance of somberness and romance. You can love but feel pain at the same time. This story, and the original Katawa Shoujo storyline has taught me that much.
The best complement I could ever give this story and author is that if I were in a bind or if I'm lost and don't know what to do with or for my friends then I'd go right back to this story, read it chapter by chapter, word from word, and remind myself that these characters have been where I am and have resolved their ordeal with time, patience, and love for one another. This is an eye-opener to the shit life I've been living.
Thank you pip25. You have my utmost respect and support. May you continue to write.
| Weird Beard chapter 1 . 8/31/2013
Looks great at first glance. You know, I use a text-to-speech program to listen to fanfics (saves my poor little eyes, and makes work more fun) that lets you select an option BGM, so I'm really thinking of going to town with this one and using the tracks you indicate when I do this one up.
| Aiden chapter 11 . 8/13/2013
This is very well done... Cold be in the novel itself. Defiantly captures what katawa shoujo is.
| LeadAcid chapter 1 . 8/12/2013
I should also mention that I read through the entire story in one sitting. Without stopping. Its really quite good. :-)
| LeadAcid chapter 11 . 8/12/2013
Okay, first of all this review is for the whole story, not just one chapter.
Now with that out of the way... This is good. Excellent, even.
You did a great job with the characters. You did an excellent job with the story. I even liked the "choose your own adventure" style for the final outcome. Everything was believeable in the context of the story, and it genuinely was a joy to read.
From a technical aspect, it's very good as well. Few if any spelling or grammar mistakes. The story flow worked really well.
One point of concern was the lack of any (observed, I suppose) backlash from Rin's ...adventure. And really the "bad" end seemed to go really bad really quickly. There didn't seem to be enought that would have pushed Hisao to quite those extremes. I would have imagined a bit more mental breakdown before something quite like that.
but still I lived it.
And frankly, the "true" end ended on a happy note and was very well written. And I'm a sucker for a happy ending.
Good job! Write more!
| Machamp09 chapter 11 . 7/20/2013
the best most perfect ending ever...you deserve all of the medals, this was worth staying up till 3 in the morning to read because you definitely have talent, please write more stories i am very interested to see what you could do with other couples as well