|Reviews for Widdershins|
| Jakarie chapter 1 . 8/8/2013
That was really good, enjoyed it
| Mattathias chapter 1 . 6/7/2013
Wow, this is great. I think it may err slightly on the side of overwriting, but there are a lot of darlings here and none obviously crying out for execution, save perhaps some of the pop-cultural metaphors, which strike me as a little try-hard.
In the sentence "She went from pretty... to totally over it," I would change the semicolons to commas.
The strongest parts were in the showing, rather than the telling: the return to reality at the beach, certainly, but also the digressions on borrowed nail boards... this /feels/ like reverie in love.
I would be tempted to delete everything from "What else is new?" forward, but am much less than certain about that.
I especially appreciate that, though the voice reads as very intelligent and you're not engaging in any parodic exaggeration, I could tell immediately from the cadence alone which character was narrating. And I haven't interacted with Buffy anything in forever! I seriously just wandered in here on a whim!
So yeah, good times.