|Reviews for My Precious People|
| Susan Drakian chapter 7 . 3/14
I LOVED This one!
Ninja Vs Clock: Epic Battle to the death!
Two in the morning x.x, I better get to bed I can't wait to continue to read! though I should be updating my own stories for my readers instead of reading but this is so good!
| Susan Drakian chapter 5 . 3/14
One in the morning, and I can't stop reading! i'm on chapter five now and WAS going to go to bed, but I have to many questions!
| Susan Drakian chapter 1 . 3/13
I just stumbled upon this this is an interesting story! I look forward to reading more, however its so long that it may take me a while to get to the most recent chapter. I look forward to finding out who the dad is nd how everything unfolds..
| Grasshopper person chapter 9 . 3/12
You realize that his official anitials would be N.U.N... Right...?
| Leroy-San chapter 3 . 2/21
I'm enjoying your story so far but I have to say I think Naruto is justified to knowing who the father of Hinata's child is.
| SilentSambo88 chapter 21 . 2/3
Okay, I suppose a review for this chapter is long overdue, but I warn you - what I have to say on some of these scenes will be particularly negative. And while you did mention that increasing negative reception has brought things to a head, and you probably don't need to hear some of my criticisms, I can't hold back. I need to be honest. Even if that makes me an asshole.
Over the past year that my own story has been on hiatus, I have grown increasingly intolerant of many of the common fanon misconceptions, to the point that I absolutely will not read any fan fiction that succumbs to them unless the author can provide a very damn good reason to do so. This story is one of those rare exceptions. Even so...
I felt that Naruto was not nearly harsh enough with the Konoha 11 when he confronted them over the Sakura issue. As he pointed out, Sakura is an irreplaceable asset to Konoha as a jōnin kunoichi who was apprenticed to Tsunade. What he didn't point out is that what Neji did should be treated as a criminal offense. Sakura is a more valuable asset to the village than Neji is. Furthermore, what Neji did by ordering businesses to discriminate against Sakura has serious consequences for the Hyūga Clan as a whole, since he is supposed to succeed Hiashi as clan head and punishing him for his crimes against Sakura would create a crisis in the clan.
I believe I mentioned this before, but I'll say it again here. Regardless of how it would negatively affect the Hyūga situation, Neji should have been arrested and condemned to serve time in the Konoha Strict Correctional Facility. I only mention the KSCF, which is filler, instead of the canon location of Hōzukijō because the latter is located in a different nation, and sending Neji there would require that measures be taken to ensure his Byakugan does not fall into the possession of a potential enemy. To be more specific, surgically removing Neji's eyes and sterilizing him. Ordering Neji's arrest instead of just giving him a slap on the wrist, I feel this would not have been OOC of Naruto; even in canon, with all his infinite capacity for forgiveness, Naruto has still told certain others (namely, Obito) while giving them the infamous "Talk no Jutsu/Therapy no Jutsu" that they need to be brought to justice for their crimes.
Onto the scene with Naruto discussing with Sasuke and Sakura the issue of the Uchiha district. Why is there even a civilian council with legitimate political power? Out of all the nonsensical fanon misconceptions that are popular on this site, that is arguably the worst one. Konoha is not a democracy, it is a military dictatorship. The Hokage alone decides what is or isn't law. I can only guess that this misconception spawned from the canonical existence of the Suna Council, which was far larger than the canonical Konoha Council which only had two ADVISORS (used to be three before Danzō lost his seat due to his ordering the Uchiha Massacre), combined with said advisors attempting to influence Tsunade far more than they had any right to.
Unfortunately, removing the existence of the council from the story would make the entire plot point of Mina becoming Naruto's assistant pointless, as the council was the primary reason why she was hired.
The rest of that scene is well-written and is consistent with the characterization of the relevant characters...except for that Major Problem. Though I don't like that Sasuke is calling Naruto "dobe" when he should be calling him "usuratonkachi" since dobe was only used by Sasuke ONCE in the source material.
Now for the scene where Hinata shows up at the Hokage's office and addresses Mina. The following is a problem that is persistent in almost every chapter in this story that includes Hinata: she is OOC in a very big and very inexcusable way, because she is neglecting to use honorifics for most of her friends and acquaintances. Hinata is one of the few characters from the source material who always uses the proper honorific suffixes for everyone: kun, san, sama, etc., with the only exception being Hanabi (and maybe her children, I don't know for sure about them because I haven't seen the Boruto movie yet). Mina should have been addressed as Mina-san. You did mention while helping me with my own story that you don't know much about honorific usage, and I might be overdoing it myself in said story, but the lack of honorific usage from Hinata here really needs to be fixed.
However, I did enjoy the scene in Suna with Shikamaru and Gaara, more so because the very legitimate obstacle to their relationship was also covered in one of the light novels, Gaara Hiden: A Sandstorm Mirage (IIRC, said light novel even said that Naruto was the main reason why Shikamaru and Temari were even being allowed to marry). It would have been better if Temari had said "troublesome" at the end of that scene, though.
My thoughts on the last scene with Hiashi are mixed. On the one hand, Hiashi's characterization up to this point contradicts canon, since we know that after Naruto beat Neji in the Chūnin Exams he has legitimately tried to be a better father; unfortunately, like a certain other issue it's something that's impossible to rewrite. On the other hand, with Hikari targeting him for his pranks he has a good reason to be upset with Naruto, even if he starts off being out of line (and brought the torment on himself in the first place). I also don't like that Naruto left an option for Hiashi to not address him with the -sama honorific; instead of saying "Naruto or Hokage-sama" that part of the ultimatum should have read "Hokage-sama or Nanadaime-sama" (yes, I like the canonical Nanadaime more than your alternate use of Shichidaime). The LeeKusu and Guy comedy also fell flat with me. The best part of the scene was when Naruto fainted at the end.
That doesn't cover everything, I know, and I can't use the character limit for reviews as an excuse for that. I just hope that even though I was a bit harsh with some parts, that this is still helpful for you.
| Szpury chapter 34 . 1/16
Easily one of the best fanfics out there. Whole story is well thought, consistent and well balanced in terms of fights, humor, romance etc. Kishimoto canonicaly fell in battle when he was thinking about power in Naruto universe so i will stay neutral in terms of new group of OP villains (or Naruto's son) tho whole idea behind names and references to our culture is brilliant. I am glad that it is a rather rare occurence that in relatively small amount of time every taken girl gets pregnant thanks Kami. Great idea regarding Sakura's problem and even better solution. Every single minute that i've spend on reading this fanfic was worth it, i am eager to know what's coming in the future for our heroes and i just can't wait for next chapter. Kudos to you author, good f'in job you've made here.
| kagomya chapter 34 . 1/16
this story is amazing, please update soon
| Polaruspax chapter 34 . 1/5
I dont know if I said this before but the fact you have these rando OC's acting all high and mighty is kinda annoying. They are not as much of a threat as Madara was, nor are they on the level of power or a threat Kaguya was. This little group is not strong enough to fight naruto nor sasuke post 4th war, nor at an adult stage. SPSM is the most broken ability ever made in naruto and the truth seeking balls negate anything that is not sage chakra. There is nothing these freaks have that can counter that. Unless you completely changed what happened in the 4th war they stand no chance and your story is just one giant plot hole. So I dont understand how people like this shit. You have nerfed the fuck out of naruto and sasuke, made some rando OC's that literally are just doing the same shit as Madara and pein and trying to pass it off as not a shit story. yea no fuck off.
| khannarie chapter 14 . 11/28/2016
What can I say? With all the hints you gave right from the start, it was pretty hard not to think that Naruto was the father. At the same time you also gave us valid reasons to still doubt that. Because how can naruto not know the possibility of hinata getting pregnant with his child, well the answer was simple they never did the horizontal dance at all. No meeting outside the village and having a one night stand. I even tried to thik of other possibilities haha.. like maybe they got preserved naruto's sperm and when they couldnt find him for eight years they thought he was dead. When he left he was suicidal. They didnt want to completely forget naruto so hinata offered to ude that sperm and carry hid child o.o i know its pretty weird.. im hlad it wasnt the case here -shudder- and that id why i cannot write. Lols.
So Whats left to consider? Sakura.
when hinata went to sakura when naruto retuned, well sakura couldnt even say Hikaru's name. I found it odd. I had a bad feeling about it and felt there was more to it.i let it go. -.- the hospital scene, it was already pretty obvious before naruto questioned sakura.. -.- i really hate sakura..
Anyway im surprised i like this type of story, its not my usual but i got curious and now im hooked. Im excited to read the rest..
| Valor-Derzod chapter 6 . 11/16/2016
monty python! goddamn throat eating rabbit!
| Valor-Derzod chapter 5 . 11/16/2016
duude! you golf? how interesting is that activity on a scale from 1-100? im guessing 73 but you can never be sure.
| Valor-Derzod chapter 2 . 11/16/2016
zzaaaaaammn sakura! back at it again with that bitchy shit!
| Valor-Derzod chapter 1 . 11/16/2016
anybody else waiting for naruto to rip tsunade kakashi hiashi and nejis heads off? no? just me? ok then carry on
| mariamae0509 chapter 2 . 11/9/2016
I'm on second chapter! It's very dramatic though I feel the love and curiosity. I can't wait who is the real father of Hikaru!Thanks for a great story.