|Reviews for Ghost, Ghost, I Know You Live Within Me|
| scranity chapter 25 . 5/17
Wait, so Shepard was a ghost, and now she's not and has also lost her memories of being a ghost, and now Garrus is probably going to be a ghost, but he might forget he was a ghost if they bring him back to life too, unless he won't come back to life in which Shepard will die and be a ghost and because she's a ghost again she'll get her memories back until she undies herself again or Garrus does.
I don't know what I just wrote, but it's a somewhat accurate representation of my comprehension of this ghost thing.
| Lara Jayd chapter 42 . 3/27
Can't wait for the next chapter! Excellent writing, sort of like eating a five star meal. Update soon!
| bleachcreep21 chapter 42 . 3/22
Holy geez. Does this count as a cliffhanger? I feel like this counts as a cliffhanger, but with just enough of a twist to be an innocent "exciting-chapter end." You have me on tenterhooks, here.
| Lachdannen chapter 14 . 3/21
GAH! WHO IS THIS CREEPY FREAKIN BURNED LADY.
That pretty much is the one question that I want to shake out of you as I'm reading this :P
But this is my RT. Which is late because I'm an idiot. . So, on to the concrit!
Good things on this one: I really like the talk with his father again. The details and differences between Turian Spirits and human ghosts is an important distinction for your story, and it's info that I was curious where Garrus stood on. It never came up in the game, and I can't remember ever him talking about it here either.
And of course burned woman is good, if for no other reason than for the mystery and the fact I've got no freaking clue what the deal is there.
I think the biggest crit point is that the chapter feels short. I get that this is the editted down version, and that smexy time happened on Ao3, but at the same time, by doing that the pacing now feels off to me. I obviously haven't read the Ao3 version so I can't say how hard it would be to edit that down but I think that would have helped a lot.
The other crit point is also a question: You point out that priests were all dead, which confused me, and doesn't make sense, so I ran to the wiki, and I'm still not sure what that means. The wiki states the old old order that worshiped the titans had died out/fell into legend, but that doesn't mean that ALL the priests were gone, just that particular order. With a spirit based culture like this, I would almost expect there has to be some kind of priest-equivalent, to at least remember the religious ceremonies for contacting and communicating to spirits.
To be honest that's a character I would love to see: a turian priest. It would give a lot of options to flesh out and give us more info on turian culture. Just a thought.
And onward! Keep up the good work!
| Sindrandi chapter 42 . 3/17
Amazing. You have so much talent.
| Anon chapter 42 . 3/9
I LOVE THIS STORY! It never gets old, seriously. Please keep up the good work!
| MizDirected chapter 42 . 3/6
Love getting this glimpse into Miranda's view of the world. You write her very very well and I am very glad she was able to help. :D
The mission almost has more tension because of seeing it from a distance rather than less. The whole not really being sure what is going on. I love the fact that Eliza howls and things as she fights. She's very primal when she fights and I love that seeming contradiction with her personal level of control. It's fantastic.
Not much I can say here, mostly because of beta. Been there, said everything I needed to say. You know and do your thing with the em dashes and ellipses ... so all there is to say is excellent chapter. I am always thrilled to get more ghost. You capture atmosphere in a way that I am pretty sure involves some sort of pact with otherworldly forces ... or extreme talent ... ;) You know, one of those. Great job.
| Sylvan Moon chapter 21 . 3/5
I have to admit. I really felt this scene. I'm the kind of person who was really bothered by Garrus' loyalty mission. At first, I let him live because it was the 'right' thing to do. But it kept gnawing at me. It was easy to tell Garrus not to do it but what if someone had betrayed Shepard? What if Wrex did and it got the whole crew killed? Or what if Kaiden or Ashley or anyone? I knew that deep down, I'd hunt them down. The only thing I couldn't take was if Garrus betrayed Shepard. I don't think I could do it. So I reloaded my game, despite putting several hours already, and went back to kill Sidonis. After reading this chapter, I'm glad I did. It also made me think. What if it had been Weaver who betrayed him? She would be like Garrus was to Shepard. I'm really interested to see what you would do in Garrus' loyalty mission whether you kill him or let him go.
| Sylvan Moon chapter 18 . 3/5
Found your fic from another author's list of favorites and I'm hooked. It's a little different from most Shakarian fics I read. It's darker and Garrus and Shepard aren't falling all over each other like a high school romcom. Don't get me wrong. I like fluff but sometimez, fics like yours are a breath of fresh air. I like it and I hope you don't stop. The supernatural angle is a bit strange, too. But it's such an interesting take on the ME world. Oh, can you please send me the links to your - um - more controversial versions of certain chapters? *winks*
| Lachdannen chapter 13 . 2/28
It's a paaaaaarty! And oh weaver. So charming XD
Line weaver is talking about her recruitment, i think you doubled your wording. You've got "but the recruiters" twice in a row.
I'll be honest, I'm actually not seeing all that much on this chapter to critic, other than personal preferences. for example, I don't like referring to in-game power names, aside from certain exceptions. Overload, Reave, ect. There are more descriptive and interesting ways to write them. You can't help some, especially if you have them talking about biotic techniques though. It's a personal preference though, so I can't fault people for doing it.
Story wise, no complaints or critic's either minus one: I feel like the raid into Tarak's room was a bit much and a bit too easy. I love the idea of him coming up with psychological warfare, though getting in the room and what not with Tarak...maybe not. Just a thought.
Other than that, I like development of the squad. I think my favorite bit was (again) weaver and the conversation about her backstory while she was talking to the sisters.
This is also is time I should repeat a previous statement: You kill Weaver I am going to be upset. Just saying.
Keep up the good work!
| Palaven Blues chapter 12 . 2/28
Ohhhhh, sweet spirits. First off all, it's been too long since I've read this I'd almost forgotten how devastatingly good Ghost is. I need to be catching up on this pronto. The pacing so far bringing readers through the first twelve chapters is phenomenal. Im not quite sure on how you decided to do the first chapter, in little flashes. It took a little bit for me to fall into it properly. Maybe if the shorter ones were expanded a bit? Not sure.
Characterization is perfect. His squad is incredible. Each character has their own distinct voice. I love Weaver to DEATH. I am suddenly remembering there's only one way for this story to play out, though, and I think I remember why I haven't been keeping up. XD Spirits, it's going to be awful when canon catches up :/
For a while, I'd completely forgotten how this ends up-you do an amazing job of pulling me into the story. But in the opening of this chapter, I noticed, there's been a sense of doom growing about the squad. Very nice.
Jeez, Garrus needs to get over his feeling responsible for everything. Not everything is on him. But I suppose that's why he looks up to Shepard so much.
I like that your Garrus can see Shep's flaws, in love with her or not. It's a more realistic way to write a healthy relationship. Well, as healthy as one can get while banging his dead ex-CO.
Oh no, the hint of Garrus's mother starting to drift is just heartbreaking :/
It feels a little ... off, that Thrace would end the call so soon. Good investigator, already knows something's wrong, good instincts-I feel like he definitely knows G is in BIG trouble. Possibly more of a hint that he's distracted, or that more is going on with his wife than he's saying?
"six hours of sleep" doesn't need an apostrophe.
and OH HOLY SHIT at the end of this chapter! Sweet spirits, that's actually terrifying. Poor G is gonna think he's finally lost his mind. Excellent, excellent work. Spirits, this is probably one of the absolute best stories in the fandom.
As for the SPAG and stuff, ellipses should have a space on both sides, en-dashes are not sufficient to take the place of em-dashes (and em-dashes don't get spaces).
There are some issues with switching paragraphs at the wrong time. You'll have Garrus's action, but then Garrus's dialogue is on a different line. Or you'll have Garrus's action, then someone else's dialogue in the same paragraph. Keep one character's stuff together, nd give the new character a new paragraph. Also, according to Strunk & White (and all other stuff I've seen), it should be Garrus's, not Garrus' ... there's only one of him.
| Lachdannen chapter 12 . 2/26
Doo-dee-doo, normal chapter, garrus and shepard on omega, doing the normal archangel things and...JEEBUS WHAT IS THIS?!
Right. So, I kind of knew you it wasn't gona be just shepard from something kim's said before. but...whut? Burned Lady is creepy as hell.
Alright...crit points...scene changes. You've got a couple tiny tiny scenes that make it hard to really get into the start of the chapter. Individually they are fine, but its' the rapid fire changes that make me want you to smooth the transition on them at least.
The other bit is the explaining of the plan. The tell tone of the plan and how he's kind of just thinking it could have easily been expanded into him talking through it to give us the same information, and still hold us in the scene.
Good points though? The scene with Garrus talking to his father. It felt very natural/real, gives us info about his family in a way isn't telling. I liked it a lot. I also liked the combat at the end on this one really well, as well as the curveball at the end.
Which is still creepy as hell.
Anyway, that's what i got for now. keep it up!
| MizDirected chapter 41 . 2/24
So much going on here. First the briefing. Love the way Eliza works the squad ... the command and assurance in her manner. You'd almost think she had experience leading or something. ;)
Then Miranda and the thing with the ... guy. I don't want to give spoilers in the review, but yeah, someone needs his ass kicked and hard. Just ... NO!
And then Garrus trying to call his dad. It really is cruel his not calling. Shepard should call. Just a quick message to let you know he's alive. It would do good things for the whole making in roads with the in-laws. ;)
Then the call from the Collector Ship. I am actually really glad that you aren't going into detail on the mission because you make the missions so plausible that they sort of slip into my head and replace canon. So ... yeah. Thanks for that. Then I won't be sticking in stuff that is lifted from you. :)
Great chapter. Covers a lot of solid ground, moving things forward into dun dun DUN ... the Collector Ship.
| MizDirected chapter 40 . 2/22
Oh the happiness of the stolen morning kisses. Hopefully as things warm up on that front, Shepard will start to take care of herself a little better. She needs to eat and sleep and all the things. Maybe she'd sleep better with a turian-shaped heating pad. Someone I know recommends those highly for insomnia and fear of the dark. :D
So yep, they are moving forward, the two of them, and the squad. Getting everything settled into a row. Not that I or them believe that's even possible. :D
I am really keen to see how the squad comes together under Eliza. It will be a fascinating run. And more kisses! I need moar stolen kisses ... and then some not stolen ones. :D
| Marie-Fanwriter chapter 42 . 2/21
Chapter! Oh thank you! You've made a terrible week a hell of a lot better. Happy to see you are back.