|Reviews for Rumble on Voyager|
| Beloved Daughter chapter 5 . 8/16/2014
Another really cool story! You have this incredible ability to create characters that we, your readers, come to care about. Absolutely brilliant: particularly his interaction with young Naomi.
Thanks again for writing and posting!
| FanFicREAList chapter 3 . 12/28/2013
Right. Okay, now when you want to succeed at writing a book you profile the characters BEFORE you put them into a book. I see you have went with the old "See one kid ya seen em all theory." Now this is not true. Having been a kid at one time I fully know that some kids are obnoxious or down right mean, stupid or smart. Naomi while not stupid is the knowledge seeker. One example is the science report on the planet that had a tachyon core. And in a 2 part Borg episode she seems to understand the function of an deflector dishes energy capabilities (WHICH TIES INTO A WARP DRIVE, as its battery source) so intern to understand a deflector dish on a basic level I must understand its energy source. Now Naomi also had taken a interest in protocols as in the episode she debuted called Once Upon a TIme, she also understood regulations of 24 hour check in to the bridge. Expanding she also had enough grasp of mathematics to encode halo-deck controls to NOT allow Kneelix in. I think if she can encode halodeck controls she would understand the difference between a buzzing communicator and its effects around others. Expanding, you might contradict that humans aren't that inelegant at age 6 except that had her true age been 6 years, that would place it seven seasons into Voyager, sense she was born in season 2 when the ship cloned all people and crew along with ship except the antimatter in the Warp core when the ship flew threw a nebula. Now, you must understand that Naomi is only half human, if you pay attention to the ridge of her head that HUMANS DON'T HAVE this ridge unless its a odd birth defect of design. Now, Expanding you will trail back to Ensign Wildman who discussed Naomi's birth you will learn her father is K'tarian stationed on DS9 [Deep Space 9 space station - Located near the Cardassion boarder], if you will realize that this species the doctor has shared has several dominate genes over a human including the ridge for mentioned and quite visible on her head. Finally you will know that Ktarians age faster than humans and reach the height of a six-year-old in just three years and that there growth spurts come in 3 stages. And Finally in season seven Naomi had the average brain capacity of a twelve-year-old at age six, looked in human years about the average nine-year-old, was in a class for Paleontology class for Commander Chalkotay when last shown, and in one seen had previously shown the knowledge to learn Borg encryption Codes from seven of Nine when asked to block the deactivation of a force field. A lot of stuff that doesn't add up to a small angelic child. Without even moving onto Captain Jainway I have proved my point. Also Ktarians come of age sooner than humans before fully grown, from my understanding. However her human mother may keep to the age of eighteen-years. Everything in your story does not add up and in this chapter on the numbers scale. Perhaps you met this episode to be Right after Once Upon a Time. Perhaps NOT. but you set it at age six. If she is six-years in human year length, then it is the seventh season. She also was seen playing pranks on the borg children when on board Voyager. Cheers.
| FanFicREAList chapter 2 . 12/28/2013
The plot of using Naomi as bate is a sad, obvious plot. It seems however that the undercover officer hasn't addressed why internal sensors haven't picked up transports of the aliens. Even if its a forein transport, several troops will cause energy distortions on board. In not even wondering, even mentally it seems all officers have lost basic star fleet training.
| FanFicREAList chapter 1 . 12/28/2013
The writer has seemed to be able to communicate his love of the environment of star fleet not from the up top, but down below. He has largely displayed the daily duties of Starfleet life for a star fleet officer and while he seems to know when all shifts run, and so on, he has NOT fallowed the series closely enough, and is unaware with the technologies and such. the 3 errors are: 1) he has ordered a bowl of cereal five years into the journey, where the rule of replicator rations has come in. I certainly would NOT have wasted my weekly rations on eating cold cereal in the AM. Many attend meals in the mess. I'm sure Neelix keeps a side standard of mass replicating cold cereal next to the weird breakfasts. The next item is the fictional games in public rule. It has to be fictional because From Episode 1 to the last TONS of crew members have engaged in public recreation. Tuvok plays Kal-toh, Neelix and Naomi play Cotiscot, and such a regulation would over write halo-deck recreation of Jainway playing pool in a season 1 episode with all crew members present. NEXT GENERATION: Riker plays chess in ten-forward? What about that? I can continuously point out these types of things. Now lastly a nebula that would take a month to go around would cover a nice large amount of space, and if it interferes with long range sensors they would have known about this formality within at least few days. they might be able to read the space somewhat, but not entirely. Furthermore, this issue would have been read within a number of weeks before down in the astero-metrics. Seven would have notified the bridge crew, a investigation of the anomaly would be completed, and even if they could NOT determine the error, the bridge crew would be notified of this issue, and Captain Jainway and ALL alpha officers would BE ON THE BRIDGE. Lastly officers working in primary hours and would happen because if all senior officers are away, dead, injured, sick, or disoriented by some unknown cause who will command the ship? there are bridge day shift rotations for off shifts for main bridge officers. Do you want to sit behind a counsel and work seven days a week? Okay so maybe it wasn't quite clear but the author did want and give a certain mood. You did explain though why this officer isn't given to personal interaction or you think you did. A officer who is bad at working could be understandable for a former Makis, but the problem is that he would have had to mix with others and gain everyones respect in the Makis and gain trust to gain access to this type of information. there not going to just say "Yep theres a Guy on Starbase 12 liberating energy to power our ships" They had bases and would be discussing this and sending people on missions for liberation. they did have missions within missions, and these officers would sell this information or talk about it quietly to the right person MAYBE, but no guarantees. So anyway, a guy mixing and mingling comes aboard Voyager and suddenly is either or always been a bad security for he might have been a poor security officer. But who would divulge to a lame officer his secret mission? then he comes aboard Voyager and no longer socializes and gives up ALL public communication. Some Maki probably wonder why he no longer has an interest in ships status and now just sits in his quarters except playing Cards. Perhaps Tuvok may wish to use him to his advantage. Cuz early on in the journey he was concerned the Maki's would revolt and take over Voyager. See he could simply set his new undercover security officer into some light corner, and have him continue his exertions for information only to find others wishing to take control Voyager. As you can see a undercover security officer who is GOOD a prying information he would be sent into a strong hold to gain information would be very useful to Tuvok early in the journey even if it turns out to be unnecessary as they NEVER did try Tuvok a Vulcan would use all recourses at hand to explore ALL venues. Lastly, meat. Even a undercover agent who keeps too himself must maintain a social standard of his fictional identity and after while might do something after having to live in the same environment for seven years. Can't he have a relationship or engage in some sort of private contact? Anyway, writing style says newspaper journalist. Have some fun with it. Granted Starfleet officers live somewhat, but Kneelix himself is always seems to be up from early morning to late offering jokes in the mess. Even after all these mistakes, one can understand he memorizes mundane shift times, but not crew habits or major pieces to the story line and his main characters historical plot, he DOES however have great spelling, and a heart for Star Trek I choose to continue reading to see how it unfolds. Perhaps you should purchase the DVD's, watch em and Come back and write more and understand behaviors of types of people interact with groups. But in the end you can be a good author I feel. This is why I wrote so long
| Kyle chapter 5 . 7/5/2011
Computer begin transmission on text only: "Confirmed".
I REALLY enjoy your story and the Naomi being captain part and transferring the command back to Janeway despite how short her status was.
To be fair however since you mentioned how Jack could lose self control it would've been more realistic for him to try to take a shuttle craft for a joyride since either way he was going to the brig.
That would be more realistic of a character flaw rather then just tacking one on to make him/Jack look good and provide a real example to the Captain what can happen under stress.
Otherwise I still say you did a darn good job with this.
Over and out. *Ends transmission.
| Kyle chapter 3 . 7/5/2011
Awwww Naomi is so cute. She reminds me of Shirley Temple and her long line of films.
| King Hawke chapter 5 . 6/1/2009
good story. I like how they ended up handling the "monsters" in Naomi's room. overall, good job. I'm surprised he was able to talk Janeway into compromising with him to be a normal crewmember. nice comparison and explanation of Section 31.
| Lord of Time chapter 2 . 2/21/2009
great fic, any chance your thinking of doing a sequal?
| Lord of Time chapter 1 . 7/26/2008
its good, i could actually see it being an episode of Voyager.
you thought of doing a sequel?
| davidt6345 chapter 5 . 6/17/2008
An excellent story with a believable original character.
I look forward to your other works.
| Pixel and Stephanie Forever chapter 3 . 3/19/2008
Really good, like this chapter best of all.
"I killed you" said Jack with a straight face
"Oh, right. Trust me, I don’t have time to ogle you while you're changing"
Certanly caught the Naomi essence very well
| Happy Fan chapter 5 . 3/18/2005
Just finished reading the story, have you ever considered writeing a sequal
| zeusfluff chapter 5 . 10/12/2003
This was a funny story! I loved it! Hope to read more of your stories in the future! ~Zeus Fluff~
| suzaku-no-annie chapter 5 . 9/2/2002
WOW ! GOOD JOB!
| Anne McSommers chapter 1 . 9/1/2002