|Reviews for The Broken Hourglass|
| silberfuchsII chapter 1 . 8/11
I really didn't want to read this story, cause cancer stories tend to be sappy and not well composed, but i was browsing your story list and because every thing else was so great and you made me love the Draco-Charlie paring, i thought i had to give it a try and now I'm near tears.
Says it all, does it not? Wonderfully well written, perfectly fitted into the muggle world with the job references, touching and sad and not unrealistic and perfect.
Thank you for posting this.
| VictoryNike chapter 1 . 3/22/2014
I loved the hourglass metaphor woven into the story. /Very/ nicely done. As someone who hated Draco in the books, I was shocked to see that your fic actually made me feel sorry for him, sympathize with him, and mourn the loss of his love. I actually really liked how you kind of showed Draco gradually fitting into the Weasley family as well, not quite taking Charlie's place in it, but healing the hole he left in his family. Well done.
| Smeagolia chapter 1 . 3/19/2014
Aww that was so beautiful and heartbreaking and cute and sad. I loved all the metephors about the hour glass and the fire. Those were lovely. I thought the part where Charlie broke the news to Molly was amazing, mostly because my mom always says I'll always be her baby, no matter how old I am, just like Charlie was for Molly. I almost started tearing up when Draco found Charlie was dead. That was horribly beautiful for such a sad part. Even though I don't really ship it, you showed DracoCharlie as a really deep couple. Charlie opened up to Draco despite his bad past, and loved him anyways. And in Draco's eyes charlie was beautiful and strong, even when he haf cancer. Aww I'm tearing up just talking about it! Great story, it was lovely.
| Ralinde chapter 1 . 3/16/2014
This was incredibly sad. I think the second person pov added to the way I could relate to Draco, and even though this is a Muggle AU, I could feel that he had changed (if that makes sense).
I really like the idea of Charlie as a firefighter, and the way that you juxtaposed his impending death with the way he looks Death into the eyes every day in his work.
I also loved how the strong relationship Charlie and Bill have also influences and includes Draco, and how he's as much an uncle to Victoire as Charlie. The fact that Dominique was born (almost) at the same time Charlie died was a stab to the heart, so sad!
I do not think the depicting of cancer - without chemo - was entirely accurate, it ressembled more of cancer with chemo, but then again, I have no experience with people in my surroundings having cancer and not doing chemo or radiation, so maybe I'm not the right person to comment on this.
| Holly The Sparkling Unicorn chapter 1 . 3/12/2014
Ohmygod you have broken my heart into a billionn peices. This was just so... Ohmygod, Laura... Just ohmygod. I love how you made me smile by added Vic but made me cry when Charlie died and I ust loved everything.
Gah. Great job.
| hiddenhibernian chapter 1 . 2/7/2014
Oh, Muggle Charlie as a firefighter – very good! That's the perfect analogy to his wizarding occupation. You inserted Bill very smoothly as well, right down to the French girlfriend. It's an interesting contrast that mobster Lucius emphasises the need to be prepared to let go of things at a moment's notice, while the pureblood wizard is very much about artifacts and belongings in my mind.
The way you've structured the story, the sand running out of the hourglass and Charlie's gradual decline, is beautiful. It's very sad, but I don't feel totally depressed after reading it either since you left a few bright spots in there. You mentioned in your rubric that you like while this fic is sad, it has moments of brightness too. My favourite part was this exchange at the end, which shows that perfectly:
“"I'm not him," you finally say.
"We don't want you to be. We want you to be you.””
Hopefully Draco finally gets that he is part of the family, even if he had to go through so much before getting there.
The characterisation of Charlie seen through Draco's eyes is great through the fic. In canon Charlie probably is the Weasley we see the least of, but you've written him just as I imagine him, so well done!
| DobbyRocksSocks chapter 1 . 1/28/2014
You made me cry. Real tears. This was so... movingly beautiful. The second person was used perfectly in this and it made it so much more powerful that any other you could have used. This touched me so much. My dad died of cancer when I was nine, so generally, I avoid stories using it, but I'm really glad I read this one.
People often think that cancer only affects the person suffering it, and you turned that around in such a realistic way. This story is a credit to you, and to your writing ability.
Thank you for telling such an amazing story.
| Forever Siriusly Sirius chapter 1 . 1/26/2014
I'm lying here with tears streaming down my face trying to comprehend what the hell you just did. All I can think, is fuck you.
Bittersweet doesn't begin to cover how I feel about this. It's sad but beautiful and tragic and hopeful and pain and love and it's just perfection.
I love how even though this fic was centred around charlie dying and draco's reaction, that we got to see who he was before charlie. With his asshole of a father and crime family, and how you showed the differences between charlie and dracos background. You broke my heart 101 different ways. I loved seeing Draco's personal growth, how he constantly was aware of what Lucius would say about draco's emotions. Until one day draco just said fuck you, i'll cry if I want to. Defying a parent isn't easy, even if said parent is a world class dick, so i loved seeing draco defy him and just be draco because charlie was more importanf than lucius and his unwanted opinions. That was one of the most powerful moments in this fic for me.
The hourglass imagery...please don't. My heart broke w
Every time the hourglass did. It was so painful because it's true that life is short and can be unexpectedly taken from you. Even strong, tough, invincible firefighters can be reduced to near nothing. I love how you carried it through, how the hourglass started every section and how it reflected the situation at the time. It was so sad. Draco is so so so scared charlie will leave him, and his worst fear came true, albeit in a different context. Draco's insecure, he doesn't (think he has) have many strong relationships with people that will prove that he is worthy of charlie and that he may be the son of a monster but that doesn't make him one, and charlie did his best to prove that to draco every single day. Part of what I love is that after charlie died, Bill and Molly and Fleur and Victoire showed Draco that he wasn't the monster. They showed him that they accept him, and they always had. He had been part of the family since the day bill found him hurt and beaten. Family relationships are so important, not just romantic ones and I love the bill/draco at the end. I love how Vic adores him, and how draco in turn takes an interest in the lives of the weasleys, asking after the new baby and everything.
Everything about this is perfect. I'm probably missing half a dozen things that i meant to comment on but yeah. This was all perfect. I wasn't kidding when i said i was in tears. I can't stop crying. It hurts but it's beautiful and there's a semi happy ending because draco has a HOME and ahh. Im in love with this but also fuck you because it really really hurts.
| Lillielle chapter 1 . 1/25/2014
Oh ye gods, that was heartbreaking. And very, very well-done. I love the Muggle AU, I don't think it could have been pulled off any other way. The second-person POV is perfect for drawing you into Draco's emotions, and the hourglass is just-brilliant. If only it worked like that, that you could put the sand back into the hourglass.
I also love Draco's interactions with everyone in this fic, the way he doesn't feel like part of the family, and how Bill shows he is. His thoughts after Charlie's funeral are spot-on, too, I think-I hate platitudes, too, and wish more people would say that "yes it's okay to be not all right" after a tragedy like that.
The ending is perfect.
| deletes chapter 1 . 1/14/2014
Oh wow. This was stunning. It was beautiful and it hurts.
Your hourglass metaphor was used fantastically throughout the piece. Draco was spot on and I love how you converted all their stories to this Muggle!AU. Everyone else's characterisation was also beautiful and it was a gorgeous idea about Bill finding Draco, and them being so close.
*sigh* Just the emotions. Thank you so much for being such an awesome writer and posting this.
| Snape5 chapter 1 . 1/12/2014
Beautifully written and the characterisations are IMHO spot on. Made me cry. You are clearly a gifted storyteller.
| keeptheotherone chapter 1 . 1/11/2014
The emotion is beautiful all the way through this piece. I especially like that you included Bill (!) and timing Charlie's death with Dominique's birth is a wonderful way to show that life does, indeed, move on. Charlie's relationship with the children gives him a reason to do so and some joy, even if it is bittersweet. I also really enjoyed the fire imagery and the symbolism of the hourglass. Characterization was brilliant, from Draco's awkwardness with a crying girl to Victoire falling asleep with him to Molly's acceptance of Draco. Well done!
| Bad Mum chapter 1 . 1/11/2014
Ah, I love, love, love this. Muggle AUs, in my experience, are either really good or utterly unbelievable, and this one falls in the really good category. I never in my wildest dreams ship Draco with Charlie (or with any Gryffindor, for that matter), but you made me believe in it. And Bill - well, Bill is my all-time favourite character, and I hate when people write him badly - but you wrote him just right. I love the relationship he has with Draco, and that he accepts him for himself, not just as Charlie's partner.
The image of the sand pouring out of the hourglass fitted the whole theme of the story perfectly without intruding into the narrative, and you managed the second person POV - which is hard - pretty much flawlessly.
A wonderful story.
| ProfessorSquirrell chapter 1 . 1/6/2014
I hate you. Just a little bit. This was so painful, good, painfully good, I hate you. (This review will be utter shit btw. I watched Sherlock and my ability to express myself has gone out the window. Apologies in advance.)
Muggle AUs have definitely begun to grow on me. And it's Charlie. Firefighter!Charlie is just PERFECT. I can picture it. Everything about this piece is just so vivid. I can see Draco's reaction, how he tries to compose himself and ends up failing every time.
The way Charlie deteriorates hurts so much. I have a friend whose dad died of cancer not too long ago and I just remember the last time I saw him and it kills me. But the way you described it is dead on. And to think of Charlie suffering just hurts. It hurts, Laura.
And BILLDRACO BONDING IS BEAUTIFUL. UGH. I love Bill and I love that these two are so close in this fic, that Draco feels comfortable enough to consider Bill and Fleur family and that Vic calls him Uncle Draco. It's just beautiful.
And everything in between, the way you used the hourglass to show time passing too quickly, and just the simple stuff like Charlie falling asleep in the car, and Draco sleeping on Bill's couch in front of the tv, is so brilliantly written. I don't know how to explain what I mean.
Gorgeous. YES. I've missed your writing. ily
| JanieNine chapter 1 . 1/6/2014
I like the beginning of this, and I like the end. The beginning is actually my favorite part though, when Draco is describing how wonderful Molly is. That was dynamite. That said, there are a few things I didn't like about your piece.
1."You are not obligated to remain." No one talks like that, at least no one I've ever met. From the way Charlie is described in the books, he doesn't talk like that either. I like your interaction between him and Draco for the rest of that bit, but that one line just seemed really OOC to me.
2. I think you underplayed the death a bit. Beginning with the hourglass, for me, was weak. I would do something more powerful there if I were you. Given, I'm not, and it's entirely your choice. :)
3. The last thing is my annoyance at the hourglass. I understand the metaphor, and I like that you tried to use a metaphor. That said, it's really obvious and that annoys me. I think metaphors use words that don't have an explicit relationship to the meaning in order to give a new dimension to that meaning. In the case of your story, the added dimension from the hourglass is the same dimension the reader got earlier from the story's meaning.
In any event, the story was gramatically sound, and interesting to believe. I could also somewhat believe this pairing, which is shocking to me since I usually hate Dralie. Good work.