|Reviews for Blade of Emptiness, Maelstrom of Honor|
| Illuviar chapter 1 . 12/22/2013
| Infamous Storm chapter 5 . 12/13/2013
So... overall, here's what I liked:
1) I like the overall mix between Naruto and Ulquiorra. They really do feel like two people meshed.
2) Hinata is pretty cool here. I like her
3) You're descriptions are starting to feel quite good. I really appreciate the imagery.
Again, I'm just beating the dead horse, but plotting is such a key component here, especially for a dark fic such as this. However, it isn't entirely your fault for this fic. I mean, it was a challenge, and you had some SERIOUS constraints. So I applaud you for taking up the effort.
But then again, and I'm taking this from your profile, you don't plan too much ahead. I want you to get more creative! Your logic and string of events is sound, it's just more imagination could bring this story to life!
I'll be following.
| Synapses chapter 5 . 12/11/2013
Love this Hinata, though i must say that was a rather evil cliffhanger, you mustn't leave us waiting too long for the next chapter after something like that! This story is really good by the way, i respect your writing skills.
| Shadow Wolf 15846 chapter 5 . 12/11/2013
Nice really nice! I cant wait for the next chapter
| Infamous Storm chapter 4 . 12/9/2013
You need to work on your dialogue my friend...
It seems a little unnatural at times, specifically where one of the two guards just casually drops that he gave Iruka money to give Naruto ramen. It's like your manipulating the reader to like him.
Also, Teuchi... that last line was, again, a little over-the-top.
I understand this is fanfiction, and MANY, MANY are fairly manipulative, but yeah... don't do that.
It's the difference between feeling contrived and being compelling. And there's a fine line between the two.
That being said, I chuckle at your jokes. Kudos.
| Infamous Storm chapter 3 . 12/9/2013
Okay, forgive me for my asshole behavior, but seriously...
You did the classic: Naruto gets banished, becomes a badass (mostly through deus ex machina) and comes back and KICKS SUPER, SUPER ASSAGE! LU%#& PWNS! LIKE A BOSS!
That's why I felt instead of one chapter, you should have devoted a couple of chapters to his rise. The best example I can give is another fic called Amenaza. Although it does have its flaws, it does a great job of depicting Naruto's rise.
| Duesal Bladesinger chapter 5 . 12/9/2013
At this point, I don't really know where this story is going. Like, is there any malevolent foe they have to defeat, or any society they need to change? Ulquiorra's already powerful enough to wipe out the Akatsuki if he desired, so what's your selling point?
What is his challenge which he must conquer?
P.S. The build-up with Hinata was great.
| Duesal Bladesinger chapter 2 . 12/9/2013
Damn . . . Ulquiorra was totally badass.
The only bit of criticism I can give for you is to make shorter paragraphs. Like, cut them all in half. This will make them much, much easier to read, because I actually found myself skimming through certain (and probably important) parts.
| Infamous Storm chapter 2 . 12/9/2013
Honestly, still think the Ulquiorra transformation was extremely rushed. Very, VERY, rushed. It would have been better if you focused on his slow ascent to awesomeness as a hollow, realize he's empty and full of despair, and THEN, after he's king of the hill, have Aizen mess with him.
Why am I complaining specifically, because you missed an extremely awesome chance to have us bond and sympathize with Naruto.
| Amidamaru88 chapter 5 . 12/9/2013
the judge is till out on Hinata, you still have some mistakes here and there
will other bleach cha. pop up ?
not sure how you can explain Soul Society and Naruto afterlife, its what always irked me about these crossovers
| pain17ification chapter 5 . 12/9/2013
I have to say, as far as second lives or reincarnation stories go, this one is very well written! :D
The storyline is great, characters are believable, and you can feel the emotions and drama...
Keep up the good writing!
| Duesal Bladesinger chapter 1 . 12/8/2013
While it did indeed start out cliché, you've deviated wonderfully. I loved the twist where Sasuke and his anonymous allies were controlling Tsunade. I was a bit confused about Kakashi though. Was he being controlled too, or is he just one of the bashed characters? Despite your fears that this would be really cliché, it actually turned out fine. This coming from someone who REALLY hates Banishment.
But anyway, you have a silver tongue. The way you describe the imagery is phenomenal. Seriously, it's like I was there in Hueco Mundo when Naruto finally succumbed and became a Hollow. But I'm very curious as to why you made Naruto's Hollow form in the image of Ulquiorra's level two release. I guess I'll find out soon.
| enigma1995 chapter 5 . 12/8/2013
Will Kurama show up again in the fanfic?
| Demon-Slasher chapter 5 . 12/7/2013
Ulquiorra seems a bit too emotional, but I guess this is to be expected as he's merged again with Naruto. I honestly think this is the first story that makes Naruto appear slightly schizophrenic, but a change is good.
I hope that later on, you make it so that Ulquiorra regains his original strength and more and someday you'll show to Segunda Etapa, possibly against Madara.
| jinx777 chapter 5 . 12/1/2013