|Reviews for At Dawn I Will Think of You|
| Sparr0w-san chapter 1 . 2/7/2014
Asdfghjkl. I don't even... Why is this so cutee?! Aww poor Roxas was jealous of himself. XD
| Chronic Guardian chapter 1 . 8/23/2013
I'm not much for fluff, but that doesn't blind me from seeing that you have talent. The way you set the scene, describe the characters, flow the dialogue, it all works together rather well. In fact, I only ran into one maybe typo:
"...and watched it bounce off the glass to join the rest of its brethren on the freshly cut lawn, a distance from the gravel path which they came from."
To make my point clear: although "a distance" could work in this setting given your more stoic/archaic diction style in the sentence, "a short distance" tends to be more generally accepted in colloquial circles. But, as stated earlier, maybe you were going for that old/sacred type of feel. Whichever, the scene still worked.
The title of this piece makes me wonder... obviously it's an allusion to the song "at dusk/twilight(depends on your translation), I will think of you" and its connected scenes of the three friends sharing the last sacred moments of their days together. On the other hand, "At Dawn, I will think of You" holds more of a connotation of beginnings. In a sense, this is fitting to your story with the whole beginning of the romance and stuff; but what happens after this? Isn't she still moving? I mean, it could be inferred that this is the new promise that even though they're apart they'll still think of each other every day, so I guess that's how I'll take it.
A question of content:
Although the ice cream is nostalgic to fans of the series, maybe it's not entirely necessary to the story. Also... maybe it's a little melty from being in Roxas' pocket? Whatever.
Anyway, as I said before: I'm not much for fluff so it's entirely possible I approached this from the wrong angle. Even so, I still think you wrote a nice little AU piece and have remarkable talent for your age.
I wish you much success in your future endeavors. You should write another KH fic sometime.
| LightzMusic22 chapter 1 . 6/23/2013
| mangaaddict26 chapter 1 . 6/20/2013
Hahah. Just kiddin' Nice work. You merged the styles well and completed by 2359.
You should write fluff more.
Hmm...if anything the pace is a bit fast, but it's acceptable.
Hahah. All the best with your other fics!
| oblivionkeeper23 chapter 1 . 6/20/2013
I like your story. I didn't even know that there was a RokuShin day.
| SeasaltIcecreamxx chapter 1 . 6/20/2013
Awhhh sweet! Happy Rokushi day! :D