|Reviews for Going Home|
| Greenrobe chapter 2 . 6/29/2014
I like it so far. True, Arya is a bit out of character, but it is ok for me
| tsevca chapter 2 . 9/26/2013
"only robb and my mother"? seriously. they were butchered and what happened to their corpses has practicly no sufficient term, they were extremely close family. losing brother and mother... would you say "only"? i bet arya wouldnt.
they went to that inn to hear her story. and no one asks?
im not going to continue reading, so i dont know if your storyline of arya is based on book storyline, but some things are from books, so you probably read them. if arya did what she did there, its ridiculous that the guy overcame her.
| OtakTouch chapter 7 . 8/14/2013
Noooooooo, I want mooore! That was such a cute/good story... I loved Supernatural's references!
| Zbluez chapter 1 . 8/5/2013
Alright. I'm familiar with Game of Thrones from the books, but I'm assuming you've only watched the series. First off, good job with this chapter. The story so far is interesting, what with Arya meeting Gendry again after everything is over. I liked that you made Daenerys Queen, I've always thought she was the only true queen in the whole story.
But you do make some mistakes in your writing, the most important ones having to do with verbs.
1) You should avoid mixing past and present in the same sentence. I suggest you stick to past for the whole narration. For example:
She has been riding for days now and her thighs were sore.
It should be "She had been riding for days and her thighs were sore."
2) Sometimes you use verbs in -ing when it should be past tense:
Oaks towering above her head and their lush leaves embraced her in the shade and protected her from the merciless sun.
Should be "Oaks towered..."
3) Make sure you use the right verb:
Years and years of living in constant danger thought her to be wary all the time.
Should be "Years of living in constant danger had taught..." You used the verb "think (thought)" instead of "teach (taught)".
There are other little errors like that. For example: "Her piece was not long-lasting, though." should be "Her peace..." Piece and peace aren't the same.
" ." she said,
What do you mean "."? Either Arya says something or she stays silent. (You could write it like that: "Arya remained silent while the man...")
And other typos:
"He knew what in th punishment"
Finally, and while this isn't as important, try to avoid paragraph-long descriptions of clothing like at the beginning. Readers aren't really interested in what a character wears. They care more about what they think, how they act. Just saying something like "Her cape was weighting down on her, making her wish she'd never taken it" is enough to form an image of what she looks like.
To sum it up, while the events happening in this chapter are interesting, you should really double-check your grammar and spelling before posting. Think about varying the length of your sentences and paragraphs and mixing up description with action and character's emotions. I missed some emotion from Arya in that scene with the villain. Surely she must felt something other than annoyance? And if she didn't, then explain why. (e.g.: "She had gone through much worse during the war. Compared to that, the man barely could be called a minor annoyance.)
Great effort, and keep writing!
| DelusionNyssa chapter 7 . 7/26/2013
Love the story. Have you thought about writing a sequel about their married life and children? I think that would be very interesting.
| Stalk Firepants chapter 7 . 7/24/2013
OMG!1 Loved it! Really romantic and beautiful *_* :$
Hope we see more of these, they're awesome :$, so realistic, story fitting, the amount of logical sense is overwhelming and the language... like I'm reading it staright from the books!
| CAS chapter 7 . 7/24/2013
| Katieisnotinteresting chapter 4 . 7/19/2013
Love your story, so much. But quick question. Are the names in here a reference to Supernatural, or is a coincidence? For example, Ser Misha and Jensen. Like the actors. And then Jensens brother Sammy. I just need to make sure I haven't gone crazy and let that show ruin my life completely. XD
| xmorganx223 chapter 4 . 7/15/2013
Aghh update! I need to know how they meet again! Please?
| meyou744 chapter 4 . 7/8/2013
Oh I hope he comes back to get her or stay with her there
| DelusionNyssa chapter 3 . 6/27/2013
Awesome. I love the whole vibe between Arya and Gendry and can't wait to see what happens next. Especially how Arya reacts in the morning.
| tessa chapter 3 . 6/27/2013
I don't feel like gendry would instantly fall in love like this, he knew her as a child and it takes some time to change a picture of someone you have in your head. Otherwise i like it.
| DelusionNyssa chapter 2 . 6/26/2013
Please tell me there's more. I love it so much.
| carolineepridgen chapter 2 . 6/23/2013
I don't usually comment on stories so early...but I just couldn't resist the Arya/Gendry one. Sometimes it is really refreshing to see my favorites put together. Please don't just leave it here. I'll be reading!
| EllenStark chapter 2 . 6/22/2013
I love this it's so so good because I have been looking for a good arya/gendry for absolutely ages! Thank you so much :)