|Reviews for Beltane Child|
| Ame's world chapter 11 . 8/18
A superb fanfic
Thanks a lot
| Caliban03 chapter 11 . 7/15
Nice and lovely story
Thank you for your work
| Runecutter chapter 11 . 7/11
The werewolf thing is a great idea. Harry could also have continued the Dobby model and any house elves that are freed according to Hermione's Elf protection law from bad owners, could end up paid in one of his and Daphne's companies, the purebloods would be confused or maybe even horrified by the idea to pay them and not just symbolically but real money...
I like the other two names better, although i really wish more stories would name children after Cedric who was more of a friend and loss for Harry then either "father", but at least you did not go down to the dark place where he would go and name his poor child after two men that tortured and bullied Harry his whole Hogwarts life over... Snape and Dumbledore.
So that was your story. All in all pretty loveable. A good set up with the pressure seeking release, a nice, slow build up with them getting to know each other and a wonderful resolution with the marriage and epilogue. Maybe it could use a bit more polishing to become a fully rounded story and Dialogues are a weakness of yours, but it still is an entertaining read and has some nice ideas that it tries its best to present in a good framing.
| Runecutter chapter 10 . 7/11
Oh no... i was a bit proud of you to not fall into the typical fanfiction trap of overinflated values for everything in galleons, turning every family into millionaires when there only are a few ten thousand wizards and witches in all of Britain, so their economy should be more like a very tiny city state or backwards principality... all the previous numbers were very sensible and fit in with what few values we hear, harry's wand, the books, a few potion in gredients. Daphne putting 20k by side to live for 10 years from it and pay for the child's (she did not know it would be twins and be twice as expensive) education at Hogwarts with 250 annually a good sensible rate, the 5000 annual profit from the greengrass holdings was perfect and the 500 felt right. Now Harry makes "millions" with a book? Why has it to be any amount anyway? Just let him earn "a fortune". And remember, the Weasleys won the big money draw (lottery) of the prophet and it was what? 500 galleon, more or less, so that should be our idea of a "lottery millionaire" in the magical world... 100,000 galleons, 200 times such a lottery "jackpot" would be on par with JKRs income for the books before any film deals, merchandise sales and such... which still seems a bit much if he'd only sell nationally, even at 5 galleons, pretty close to the complete Lockhart set of multiple books, that would mean 20,000 individuals would need to buy if the publisher has no other costs and makes no profit. So it would be rather 60,000 books for him to get 100k paid out. And that is with the unrealistically high assumption of price. We quickly would be past what England can have in magical folks, including centaurs, merpeople and goblins ;-)
Long rant short... you did amazingly well with money in this story until yet. "millions" is going too far. At a previously described more than lavish spending rate of 2400 galleons per year for a snobby wannabe nobility family like Stella's, at least 2 million would mean 800 years of prepaid expenses... and that is the smallest number where one can talk about million"s"...
Oh, you resisted to bring Hermione together with her co-godparent the Slytherin cousin of Daphne's? Nothing wrong with Neville, I love him as a Love interest for her, but the story seemed to offer that other pairing at least as a possibility with dating following from sharing the duties for one of the kids... And there of course also would be Luna, who got truly shafted by JKR with that far too old guy she married cause they both liked animals. Seriously.
| Runecutter chapter 9 . 7/11
Hmmm, would it really be safe to apparate with a baby if you are supposed to be careful with any magic "touching" them, even indirectly? At least go with House Elf apparition as that would not be "wizard/witch magic" and i cannot see house elf nannies to the whole child care manually, they do everything witha snap, don't they?
I'm happy to hear about the small things happening around them, Hermione wising up about Ron, Stella slowly ruining herself... good news, good news indeed.
| Runecutter chapter 7 . 7/11
Two things i noticed during reading this and looking into Beltane, curious if there isn't a more traditional name connected to the day than Rhapsody (a bit too american for a british pureblood "princess" to fall in love with and with Daphne and Lilly a flower or tree name would have been logical to pick), the first one is Beltane in this form does not exist historically, it's a pure invention of the new fangled and 100% made up "wiccan" faith / pseudo witchcraft movement. Why would actual witches proud of their 1000 and more years of tradition follow the silly 20th century Muggle Hippies into such a parody of their lifestyle?
Secondly... Rhapsody Isabella Potter. Have you looked at the Monogram here, Auralon? R.I.P. ? Would you really settle a child with that combination? It's almost as bad an accidental choice as JKR going with A.S.P. for her epilogue. (and would Harry truly feeel fine about any combination with Bella so shortly after the events of his last two years? Sirius, the torture of Hermione at Malfoy Manor and Bella killing Tonks in Hogwarts?)
| Runecutter chapter 5 . 7/10
Daphne sounds simultaneously like totally clueless about Harry and far too savvy about his habits and motives and what role he played in the various "mysterious" events at Hogwarts over their schooltime. A bit close to "auctorial knowledge"... It also is a tiny bit standing in the way of them working harder at getting to know each other.
Then Harry should be more curious about the pregnancy as it would be totally new to him. And finally... he loves saying things about "like a sister". How would he know? Has he ever had one? "the same way I like Ron: just as a pal" would be more sincere for him.
| Runecutter chapter 2 . 7/10
Hmmm... this does not feel right. The idea of a younger child couping and taking over the family fortune, regardless how ambitious and greedy her evil stepmother mum might be, seems to contradict the whole idea of deeply traditional, slightly antiquated pureblood families... with the father out of the image DAPHNE as adult should be the one giving the commands, not her not quite mommy dearest. And threaten to throw Astoria out without heritage.
There is no fiancé anymore to hold her back and a Beltane child was described in this story as welcome blessing and appreciatable child, so no possible reason to disinherit even if Stella should for a convoluted reason like missing NEWTs still have stewartship past Daphne's 17th birthday.
This all feels a bit forced and constructed, not organic.
Why not have ALL the family be dishonored and impoverished with him in prison as the Father needs to ALSO pay restitution for his crimes and the fortune is quickly eaten up, the manor has to be sold or was damaged beyond repair at the current means and so her situation is not dependent on Stella or Astoria who with Draco is in a similar situation but cannot bow out of the engagement due to contract difficulties, but nonetheless dire and worrying? Going to Gringotts still could work, e.g. to sell what little Daphne has in jewelry she inherited from her birthmum, being exploited by the Goblins but havinglittle chance to bargain harder as she needs the money for St Mungos and the childcare until she can find work or the kid's dad... hoping he wasn't secretly cheating on another family or has married in the interceding months.
Also meeting Harry in the lobby would have been a prime occasion to bring up how the night at Beltane still governs Daphne's dreams, black hair and a flash of bright green eyes in the fireshine are all she can think about and often catches herself fantasizing about at nights... so she notices his looks for the first time since they started school in 91. And quickly forgets the idea, still thinking in categories of snakes and lions and having the whole bunch of negative rumours Draco liked to throw around in her head, so Potter is no mate she'd seek out and thus nothing in her wants to connect him to the wild man...
| Runecutter chapter 1 . 7/10
Well i like the chosen time, it seems a pretty good point to squeeze something like this in and with Bill and Fleur "busy" and Hermione and Ron doing their own ... "dance", Harry letting off some steam feels very natural.
The rest of the night is a tad forced and stilted, maybe as you try to avoid going into details and more describe than actually "show" (Show don't tell, the one rule every budding author gets beaten into the head whenever they start classes ;-)) but beyond this slightly weird detachedness it is a pleasant narrative as of yet. At least for Harry, Daphne's fate is pretty dire and discouraging...
Maybe Harry as a muggleborn with just casual knowledge from a few minutes of talk about it should be more freaked out as he comes basically without any information about the rituals and his role and he is talked into it with barely any resistance, I'd almost preferred it if the ritual was a giant round or feast table with all participant masked and only there and then queen and king chosen by something in the food or a similar tool, something out of their decision and against which there is no protesting. That could even be used as a slightly distancing move between Ron and Harry if Ron and Hermione had snuck off to also partake in the celebration but did not involve Harry to "not make it weird for him"... while Harry snuck off not knowing about those plans and ending up in a totally different circle. This inconsiderate point of Ron's (jealousy of course, what else... also maybe a touch of pettyness over "abandoning Ginny") could set up Harry feeling a bit on his own and then finding out about the story's titular child... he would jump headfirst into getting to know this little miracle of nature and its mother. And then there'd be Teddy too.
It may just be my slightly quirky brain that thinks such a direction would have improved the story, but then i hardly can disagree with my own grey stuffing ;-)
Still it was a short introduction and i assume a lot more is to follow, so I'll stay curious about where it goes from here and will give more feedback later. Maybe not every chapter, but when it feels like there's something to say beyond "you write very good"
P.S. you write very good. This is picking the finest prints apart stemming from a very picky taste in fiction and lots and lots of stories, books and so on read over decades.
| Matt chapter 9 . 6/21
I don't know where you got the wrong spelling stuck in your head, but the English name Ernest does not have an A in it. The Spanish version is Ernesto. The short version is Ernie. But nowhere in there is there an A. There is an English word earnest but it's not the same as the man's name.
| Guest chapter 11 . 6/4
i think this is my favorite harry/daphne story. well, at the very least i can't think of any other right now that i've enjoyed more. the character of daphne is such a blank spot in canon, yet fanfic authors have long given her a much shared personality and backstory. i enjoy both stories that keep with the fanon take on her and those who break away from it as long as the story is written well, so thanks for providing exactly that :)
| jltavare chapter 11 . 5/30
Liked this very much. No complaints whatsoever.
| K chapter 11 . 5/14
Lovely story. Very much enjoyed it.
| Ice Demon Ranger chapter 11 . 5/15
An excellent story.
Thanks for sharing.
| HarryPotterFangirl85 chapter 11 . 4/28
Enjoyed reading this story and good job on the unique way you introduced the surprise pregnancy. I mean, there could be another story that did it this way, but I haven’t read another one like it yet.