Reviews for Beltane Child |
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![]() ![]() ![]() Each time I read this, I feel happy. |
![]() ![]() ![]() _️ |
![]() ![]() ![]() Después de tantas historias intensas qué he leído esta semana esta es un poco de soplo de aire fresco relajante qué disfrute demaciado en leer, el harryxDaphne es de mis parejas favoritas así que fue muy relajante leerla y con un simple pero bonito final |
![]() ![]() ![]() Eh, did stick to the end, but this is pretty pedestrian. WAY too much "tell, not show," the youths speak like pompous fifty year olds, and nothing really happens. |
![]() ![]() ![]() This is a really nice story. Very wonderful |
![]() ![]() ![]() Twins! How nice |
![]() ![]() ![]() I'm really glad he went to Andi for help. She could really help him a lot |
![]() ![]() ![]() Very interesting so far |
![]() ![]() ![]() Great story. Could use some polish and a little more showing instead of telling but all and all a great read |
![]() ![]() ![]() Only problem is some grammar errors, and the names of the kid |
![]() ![]() ![]() Super histoire |
![]() ![]() ![]() Great story, thanks for writing! |
![]() ![]() I'm a bit lost with why he needs to tell the Weasley's. They don't have any say in his life. Should just cut them out. Ron is a jealous prat, Ginny only wanted the reflected fame and Molly doesn't want to know him after breaking up with Ginny. |
![]() ![]() Very very exposition heavy at the moment. All the conversations feel really unnatural when each sentence is a paragraph made to explain things to the reader unnecessarily. It writes like you're talking down to a child, leaving nothing unsaid, when in reality you omit a lot of information when talking, leaving context to fill in what goes unsaid. |
![]() ![]() I mean can you not make the child legitimate as it just floats over the story like a dark storm due to the angst |