Reviews for Massed Up 2
Gramorla chapter 13 . 7/1
I really like this story. And i hope it will continued sometimes.

I discovered and play Mass Effect 1-3 for the fist in 2014, so i'm some kind of late entrant to this franchise. (The ME3-Multiplayer is still aktiv, whats really nice for a game who came out in 2012).

I'm not a native English speaker, so gramma errors are sometimes hidden for my. It's nice to see a selfinv Story line for Mass Effect who doesn't reduced it self to a twisted slash fiction stage. And had some well writen action scenes.
wars apprentice chapter 13 . 4/23
I am really loving the series (keep up the good work). I am interested in knowing if the dark net is were Alex will get a new and improved prosthetic eye (with a working laser and lets him see through walls)
zozilin chapter 13 . 3/16
Отличная глава. Жаль только что к 3ей части я наверно тоже уже буду глубоко в кризисе среднего возраста
general-joseph-dickson chapter 13 . 3/11
Good ole Wrex, keeping it real.
subsider34 chapter 13 . 3/9
That scene with Wrex? That was utterly awesome. You did an excellent job building up Joe and Lucy as well.

I look forward to future chapters!
N7Knight chapter 13 . 3/5
Awesome chapter, I love it when stories get more in depth about how things work instead of just having it happen.
Between Joe's frustrations, the UAF licensing, the Deep Net (cool name by the way) and the special appearance of my favorite Krogan! I really liked this chapter :)
Twisted Platypus chapter 13 . 3/2
Aha! You thought you could sneak this past me! Obviously not. I've been waiting for this chapter for ages and I'm not disappointed. The return of Alex and co is always fun to read and the added criminal/political/legal elements make the story entertaining in more than a buddy-(non)cop kind of way. Lucy seems more and more like the team mum; I can definitely see her stepping in between two towering powerhouses and politely telling them to shut up. Wrex is awesome, enough said. Interactions with Anderson and the preparation for the Suicide Mission and Reaper War was a nice change of tone and pace from the rest of the chapter, executed really solidly too. I can't wait for the next update!
Boulder-West chapter 13 . 3/1
This is actually one of my favorite stories. It has action, adventure, mystery, and a sense of humor that is very refreshing. It makes me so happy when I see an update for this, because I know I'm going to like it. I don't even care about how long it takes to update. I get that you have your own life to live, and that you do this out of either the kindness of your heart or the fact that it is fun for you to write. If you want to speed up the updates, that's cool. If you want to slow down (i doubt you do, but it's an option) that's cool too. It's your life. Life it as you see fit.
Lfan8 chapter 13 . 2/28
It's absolutely awesome to see you back writing again. Can't wait to see where this story goes.
Michae1ange1o chapter 13 . 2/27
Four years? crazy isn't it. I went to your youtube channel, that Firefall is nuts, maybe you should borrow the holographic wings idea eh? call em omniwings or something, small brifcase sized thing strapped to your back, the tech is simple using mass effect fields and cheese.

I'd have probably invested in thermal clip tech, maybe patented it before shit becomes popular, use your future knowledge to make cash and influence people dude. Blackmail the Asari with the Athame temple Prothian beacon, the Turians with the Tuchanka nuke, to get the licenses you need. Get Anderson to make a secret damn backup of the mars archive, hint it'd be one of the first places the Reapers would attack and check the last year in the archive to see if the Prothians were developing weapons, maybe suggest that if there was a beacon on Eden Prime maybe there is even more buried. Leave random posts in forums containing three words, (Heretics, Old Machines) and the Geth will be in touch. In Mass Effect 2 Tell Aria that Cerberus intends to capture Omega somehow.

I'm surprised Alex never recognised the voice of Nyreen on Omega. He does need those gene mods, you do realise they raise all your physical atributes to olympic athlete levels don't you? the increase is significant, that's like Batman levels, the illegal mods can add on top of that.
V-rcingetorix chapter 13 . 2/26
Don't worry about update timing; life happens, and then we do stuff with it. So long as you keep writing, FF will keep sending notifications, so no problem is had.

Ok, review mode.

You've made your characters 3-dimensional, that is to say, rounded. That's good, and makes it easier in the long run. Of course, you could run with flat characters, but that gets old pretty fast. Incidentally, I love how you handle Wrex; an excellent mix of apathy and aggression, with a faint touch of sarcasm, lol.

Improvements; hmmm. Your writing style is decent, and the SpaG is good (Spelling and Grammar). That's half the battle right there. What I'd like to see is a little faster pace, but that's a delicate subject. If you push it too fast, then you have problems with scene-jumping, and time-skips. One of the worst fics I've read had the main characters spend 3 chapters struggling through a desert, and then in the final paragraph of the third chapter, he did a timeskip denoted solely by (3 days later), and a 50 word "yay we're out of the desert" paragraph. Bad. Badbadbadbad.

However, you can accelerate by far more sophisticated means. If you start a scene farther ahead than absolutely necessary, you can include 'previous' actions with flashbacks, reminiscing conversation, or simply treat it as if it were normal. A big part of writing is treating reality as if it were normal; having the characters gasp at every new thing, or analyze every minute detail just kills it. You are doing very well there, treating the ME universe as if it were normal, so don't worry about that.

You might want to join the Aria's Afterlife Forum, if only for their Review Tag (which is pretty good!). You can get some constructive criticism (mostly), and ideas for other writing projects there.

Keep up the good work!
Mahiro55 chapter 13 . 2/26
Love the direction the story is going hope you keep it up. Can't wait for the next chapter :)
Phoenix1222 chapter 1 . 2/26
OK. let me say this. I love Mass Effect and you... are fucking awesome. I was sold at your bio because I understand all those topics. If I could I would be doing the "we are not worthy!" bowing down to you from Wayne's World. But joking aside, love the fics. And I am sad to say that your grammar and spelling is better than some adults I know. And they are in their fucking 30's! But if you have any tips you can give me, that would be awesome. Thanks for listening to me babble like a idiot.
FluffyPizzaPie chapter 13 . 2/26
I love Wrex. And I love your portrayal of him as well.
I'm glad you're actually taking the time to develop Alex, instead of just instantly giving him super-powers like most authors would do.
Keep up the good work!
Shadow knight1121 chapter 13 . 2/26
Wow I had forgotten about this story. This was a long time conning. Great job this was a very great chapter.
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