|Reviews for Hero's Duty: Code Blue|
| Scruff the Rat chapter 19 . 2/18
I gotta tell ya. This fanfic of yours really has a unique (oh, what's the word?)..."flavor" to it. Yeah, that's it!
Well-written dramas are a little hard to come by these days, including on Fanfiction, and, quite frankly, this story of yours is one of them. Not only could I easily make sense of the characters' feelings, I even felt empathy for them, like Blue Calhoun. In fact, she and CP are among the most interesting OCs I've ever read about, CP especially.
Blue Calhoun, for example, gave a bit of an "evil-twin" vibe to the plot, even though she's not quite what I'd call a villain-a misunderstood antagonist, certainly, but not a villain. In a way, she's actually really relatable. She's stuck with this emotional baggage she never asked for or wanted and, what's more, her original, despite once having the same problem as her, has someone to love, something Blue Calhoun lacks and so envies her for greatly. It's no wonder then why she had no regrets about tricking and seducing Felix, even though she doesn't want him to hate her for it.
And then there's the adorable and ever dynamic CP.
Characters that are intelligent yet are part of a species meant to maim, consume, or destroy always intrigued me because they remind me so much of me: witty and intelligent and even good-hearted deep down yet chained to the fear that no one could ever love them the way they wish to be loved because of what they are. Maybe that's why CP grew on me so quickly after he was introduced. True, a sentient Cy-Bug unnerved me at first, but he really won me over with his casual and suave personality.
I'd love to be friends with him-as long as he doesn't go on anymore rage-fests, that is.
In all seriousness, though, I felt bad for the guy at certain points, like when Calhoun shot him sort-of-by-accident when they first met or when he finally gave up during the final battle-if I'd been there, I would have told him something along the lines of "I'm sorry, buddy. You left us no other choice." Other points, though...not so much, like when he kidnapped Calhoun or went Hannibal Lector on the gang (poor stunt doubles-thank God they could respawn).
And double points for the talk Ralph had with CP near the story's end. Ralph really knows how to slap sense into a person.
By the way, nice job on the humor, especially the blooper reels. Seriously, some of the outtakes made my ribs hurt; that's how hard I was laughing! Especially the running gag with Calhoun running into Felix's bedroom and discovering who-knows-what.
Signed, Scruff the Rat
| crankyman7 chapter 20 . 10/27/2013
I'm guessing this story was something of a passion project for you. At any rate, if I'd ever doubted that, chapter twenty would have proved otherwise to me.
The character transformation of Blue Calhoun is very sudden. I feel like some critical piece of the story is missing that would have better helped me understand why her character started to change for the better between chapter's twelve and thirteen.
And I'm sorry, but as full of possibilities as he is, I don't really find C.P. all that sympathetic. I ultimately cannot sympathize with his desire for "love" when for most of the story, it seems that what he wants to obtain is not love at all, but rather empty, banal, sensual pleasure. For all Ralph's talk about having been in the same place as C.P., it feels as though the parallel is only there because Ralph said it was. The reveal of C.P. as not being a mere lustful nutcase, but rather a tragic, "I just want friends and romance" sort of character doesn't feel as genuine as it ought to. There are little hints of what you were trying to do with his character earlier on, and chapter fifteen is a step in the right direction. But in the end, you rush his development. In all honesty, you probably should have saved your attempt to redeem him post-final battle for the sequel, where it could have been fleshed out and given a proper amount of page time to develop, and instead devoted more page-time here to fleshing out Blue Calhoun's redemption.
In essence, the fundamental flaw of "Hero's Duty: Code Blue" is that your attempt to redeem the villains, while a thematically rich choice on your part given their despicable actions, is imperfectly executed. Because this is one of the two main threads of the narrative, I'm afraid I must pronounce the the end result a mixed-bag.
I know I've sounded pretty negative here, so I need to say the following:
You are clearly an ambitious storyteller, which is something I can admire. While I sometimes came across sentiments that I personally disagree with, it's clear to me that you chose to tackle adult themes because you had a serious story to tell that necessitated their inclusion. I cannot praise you enough for attempting to treat the topics you included with the gravity they deserved, instead of writing porn [chapter seven could have been less explicit while still making your point, but I didn't feel you were deliberately trying to titillate the reader]. You can write a good action scene as well. You can also achieve nice character moments. And your prose flows easily and is not at all hard to read or understand.
You have some strengths on display in this story that will serve you well. If you can address the flaws I mentioned above in future stories, your works may just become a force to be reckoned with around here. You've already started new fics, so perhaps I'll have to take a look, eh?
As a sidenote, I believe this story should probably have been rated M. That's not a knock on the story, it's just that I felt the story was explicit enough for that rating.
| crankyman7 chapter 18 . 10/27/2013
C.P. seems to have confused lust with love. Perhaps Bad-Anon can help set him straight?
| crankyman7 chapter 17 . 10/27/2013
Okay, the story's come around and the resolution makes more sense. I can see more clearly where you were going with Blue Calhoun's lack of an apology back in chapter fourteen. She's *actually* sorry now. I just wish her heel-face turn had been less rushed.
| crankyman7 chapter 16 . 10/27/2013
So, Blue Calhoun becomes a little bit sympathetic here . And the boss battle was well done and very vividly described. I do wonder that the soldiers aren't regenerating, though.
| crankyman7 chapter 15 . 10/27/2013
Say, this chapter is reminding me of the grand old tradition of the pulps. Are you trying to offer a homage to those old B and Z grade movies where monsters start to get those strange feelings, start calling it love, and kidnap the female lead in order to make her "love" them?
| crankyman7 chapter 14 . 10/27/2013
One underlying assumption of the chapter on a thematic level seems to be that having sexual relations is an essential part of life. Given that it is not, I'm curious why that seems to be an assumption of the story. Regardless, however much I might understand Blue Calhoun, I have not an ounce of sympathy for her.
Also, I'm intrigued that you seem to have had Felix conclude that this new Calhoun is more or less the same woman. That's not the direction I'd have taken such a storyline at all- to my mind, it rather blatantly contradicts where the story seemed to be going earlier.
And Blue Calhoun's sudden decision to help Felix feels very rushed and out of the blue. I still have no idea why she changed so abruptly.
| crankyman7 chapter 13 . 10/27/2013
Vanellope has a gun.
That literally just made my day.
Always save the girl, Felix. Always save the girl.
[And yes, that's a TV Tropes reference].
| crankyman7 chapter 12 . 10/27/2013
Well, you've got a pair of thoroughly despicable villains here. Is it pure lechery motivating them, or is there something more, I wonder? Either possibility could work.
Felix in those fancy duds...heh.
| crankyman7 chapter 11 . 10/27/2013
Well, you seem to be attempting to justify the way your plot's going with thematic development and character moments. We could use a bit more of that sort of thing these days whenever such things happen in fiction.
| crankyman7 chapter 10 . 10/27/2013
Well, this is awkward...
If there's anything I despise, it's lust. Let the battle come, I say.
Though I am curious what motivated such a heinous deception. I guess I'll just have to find out.
| crankyman7 chapter 9 . 10/27/2013
This chapter's giving me that distinct "something's gone horribly wrong" feeling.
| crankyman7 chapter 8 . 10/27/2013
Well, if you wanted me to dislike C.P., you've done a fantastic job.
| crankyman7 chapter 7 . 10/27/2013
| crankyman7 chapter 6 . 10/27/2013
I'm almost afraid to ask where this is going...