|Reviews for Fear and Agony|
| SirisAnkh chapter 7 . 10/28/2013
Hello! I've been getting into a lot of Pitch/OC stories and stumbled upon yours. I was sad that you haven't updated in awhile. I hope you find the time to come back to it and finish the story, I really like it! Please continue _
| Guest chapter 7 . 9/7/2013
I love her crew! the characters are all so cool!
| Guest chapter 5 . 9/7/2013
this is a really good story! You might want to check for grammatical errors before publishing, but so far i like the character and the story much more than most of the other oc stories out there. keep it up and please continue! :)
| darthcat chapter 7 . 9/6/2013
OMG she so wants pitch;-) is there going to he a scene later on where it gets really M Rated! Im just saying:-):-)
| Dryfreeze chapter 7 . 8/24/2013
I found the interactions between your oc and pitch to be the most interesting part of your story. It's got a great premise, a good foundation, and a good reason as to WHY they are involved, and I really like how their relationship is being stretched and developed out, step by step. It really builds up the intensity of the story that way, so don't rush anything, what you are doing with that is great.
I like the side stories of Mara and her buddies are setting up the scene for more to come with Pitch, but don't let them drag out for TOO long, or they will take away from what's interesting- your oc's relationship with Pitch and how it develops.
It would also be cool if you go into more detail of Pitch's side of what he does when he isn't around your OC, there is too much focus on her, and there needs to be a balance, again, for the interesting factor!
Her relationship with Pitch has a lot more substance than her relationship with Jack, again, because theres a basis of WHY they are together. I always feel tentative about love triangles, but if you really want to add it in, don't force it, or it will lose a lot of potential quality. When Jack comes back, it has to be for a really good reason besides the obvious, " I(Jack) love mara so much, i can't stand not being with her!"
(perhaps, maybe pitch turns against mara because he finds out about her liking jack, but she really likes pitch, and in trying to convince him, he captures her in anger, and starts trying to torture her with all the fear he can as revenge, but jack somehow hears of it, and tries to save her, but she still likes pitch? basic idea, but maybe itll inspire you! or, maybe even jack tries to break her deal with Pitch, but she doesn't want him to at that point because she likes him, but jack finds a way to do it, perhaps, by twisting pitchs arm because he starts liking mara at that point, and he convinces pitch that hes not good enough for her, and pitch leaves. mara fights to be with pitch again, against jack. and yes, jack would be the bad guy here, but interesting, maybe?)
So all in all, great start. just keep working at it, don't be afraid to make big changes, and itll come together really nicely.
| ssjbura-briefs chapter 7 . 8/15/2013
new to your story but i'm liking it so far but i don't know if you're just going off of the movie characters or if you are featuring his background story(his being Pitch) and in that case the reason Pitch prefers children's dreams because of children being innocent and pure of heart. Though with you having pitch affecting adults and teen he can still do this as young children believe that adults are powerful and are not afraid of anything. and if little jimmy discovers that something is making his father lose sleep and jump at shadows children are very observant that way soon the children will begin to fear as well even with out having nightmares personally (i made up Jimmy)
anyways can't weight for an update
| ObsidianLove chapter 7 . 7/27/2013
Pitch catching her dancing? Brilliant! And I can totally agree with Mara when she talked about Pitch.
So.. Ginger also knew Jack. Wait.. does she believe her? Is she a believer as well?
"You masochistic bitch." Hahahaha! Love that line. I mean, who isn't around Pitch? XD
| ObsidianLove chapter 6 . 7/26/2013
That was unexpected. She has a crew of some sorts. And they're going to dance. Why do I get the feeling that Pitch will somehow appear out of no where while in practice? XD
| Lady Minuialwen chapter 5 . 7/5/2013
| ObsidianLove chapter 5 . 7/4/2013
Well she did a good job spreading that sand.
And her family is a classic! A** hole dad and a donkey tail mom. Good thing she doesn't have this obnoxious older bro who brings different chicks inside his room every night.. Or does she? Hahaha.
Thar crush thing is cute though. Pitch can be a tease. Hehehe. Awesome chap. I can relate with Mara here. ;)
| ObsidianLove chapter 4 . 6/29/2013
Wow she has Nightmare Sand. O_O Awesome.
Aaaaaand I didn't know she was frienemys with Jack. Wow, it's all the more reason to side with Pitch in this. Jack is doomed..?
Oooh Mara has a crush on the Nightmare King.. Hehehe. XD
| Lady Minuialwen chapter 3 . 6/28/2013
| ObsidianLove chapter 3 . 6/27/2013
I love this! She's going to help Pitch. Finally, a fic where an OC will be allies with Pitch. And it's kinda Mara's chance to get revenge on those who bullied her and called her a freak. *evil laugh* :)
But word of advice? When they're talking, put them in seperate paragraphs, and once in a while, cut the long paragraphs. It gets confusing. That's all. :)
Can't wait for the next chapter.
| ObsidianLove chapter 2 . 6/27/2013
So far so good. This chapter was more like a filler for the next one, maybe? Can't wait to read what happens next!
| Lady Minuialwen chapter 2 . 6/26/2013