|Reviews for With eyes of a child|
| Guest chapter 10 . 6/17
Shizuo you could just use this as a daily answered question! OH THE CONFLICT THAT COULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED! I love this...
| TENTACLES XD chapter 1 . 3/14
I'm gonna be blunt here, this isn't nitpicking, just constructive criticism. First, your grammer is pretty bad, I barely got past the beginning, you also could have made his flashback in the beginning go for a bit longer, maybe put in what child Izaya is thinking, eg: 'A raven haired child ran into his house excitedly, it was around the afternoon and school had just finished. "I hope mummy and daddy like my picture," thought the child. His parents had been fighting a lot recently, and it worried him.' You could have done something similar to that for the beginning. And then their is the characters ooc ness. The plot is pretty good, and I think this story has potential. Either way, I hope you take my advice to heart, it could improve your writing skills. I wish you the best of luck in future fanfictions.
| SIGN ME THE FUCK UP chapter 20 . 3/12
OMG I LUVED IT ;U;
| TheBlueMoonRose chapter 21 . 2/15
Amazing... i cried happy tears on the last chapter :)
| Nekton chapter 7 . 9/14/2015
...hello... I was bored so...PAAAAAAAASSSSSSTTTTTAAAAA
| Nekton chapter 12 . 9/6/2015
for the first time in forever
| Nekton chapter 11 . 9/6/2015
Not to be rude but English wasn't your best subject in school was it?
| Mattychan69 chapter 21 . 9/2/2015
The story is fantastic! You really have to correct your grammar but the plot is amazing, I loved it!
| Probsprof chapter 2 . 8/25/2015
This is a very good story, but maybe get someone to look through for spelling mistakes. I've spotted a few.
| Angila Carter chapter 20 . 5/11/2015
This was a great story hope you continue to write stories.
| ShizuIzaya4ever chapter 20 . 4/12/2015
THAT WAS SO CUTE I LUV THIS PAIRING POOR IZAYA IT WOULD MAKE SENSE IF SOME SHIT LIKE THIS REALLY HAPPENED TO HIM THAT WOULD EXPLAIN WHY HES SO FUCKED UP BUT U GOTTA LUV HIM FOR IT XP
| BK-207 chapter 1 . 3/8/2015
To be the utmost honest I didnn't enjoy this fanfiction that much. Now, I'm not trying to discourage you or anything of the sort, just take this as constructive critism. I really, really liked your plot a great deal; with the mom and dad fighting, the moms suicide, the self harming, the sexual abuse, and the father getting out of jail. But you rushed this story waay too fast. I mean in the first chapter he meets his dad and everything just fets messy and what not. The things that transpired in the first three chapters should have been layered better. Just for an example the entire first chapter could be izaya sitting in his chair tapping his pen agianst his desk and pondering about his childhood. Also Namie could still be working and you could make him send her home eaarly while he just stares at nothing, while looking like he was in deep thought.
Also the grammer in the fanfiction was down right miserable, I found it hard to follow the rushed plotline because of the mispelled wording and incomplete sentences. Now I won't hold that againsy you, as you stated you have trouble with english.
Oh and lastly, how you made Shinra, Shizuo, and Izaya so out of character just seemed so fake to me. It felt like the characters were really mad inpersinaters of those three characters. Now I know its hard to keep characters IC but at least try. I mean Izaya was not like his normal arragant, smart mouth, calculating, and intelegent self. Like in the beginning you could have made him stick to that side of him but when meeting his father then you could have his fragile state of mind deteorite. Because even the way you made him scared and everything...I just didn't buy it one bit. Same goes for Shizuos so sudden change of heart. Like when he found Izaya their be no way in hell would he be soo nice. I think maybe you could've had Izaya having a phychological meltdown in the ally but have Shinra find him. Just a thought
Oh and on one last note what was the whole deal with Shirou wanting to find Izaya and kill him. I mean his entire character was down right flat as can be. When first seeing him you should have given him more of a taunting and mulipitive tone towards himself. Also I really didn't understand his motives, like at all. He kidnapped Shizuo(despite the lingering gactor of never finding out how)and lead Izaya to the old house, why? I mean in the end he saved Izaya after shooting him. Why did her after shooting feel fatherly love towards him. Also he shot Shizuo in the leg, dude
| Rin Murasaki chapter 20 . 10/4/2014
Umm I I would like to say I did not really enjoy this fanfic. I mean this as constructive criticism and not just oh this suck review. I very much liked your plot. It is a very great idea with his dad and mom and the cutting and rape and shooting. It was all really good but there is that the fact of your poor grammar, speed, and characterisation that messed up a really good story. Your grammer is really bad you should really proread your work for spelling and grammar errors. Your speed is too fast. The thing about stories are you can make them as long as you want especially if you are making a story that will have more than one chapter and ongoing. The point should be to slowly draw your readers in and keep them on the fence. You practically shove the story down your thoarts. Even as I was reading cup 1 I was thinking "wow that was quick I expected that to happen by chapter 3 or 2" Everything was moving very fast and all over the place. The back and forth from past to present was good though. Try to slow down. Last but not least characterisation. The characters were so OOC that it was painful. Just so painful. Please try to stay with the personality and even if you do OOC because many fanfics do and they are good try to make it an OOC where that is the personality the character would mostly have in that situation accords to the original personality. Please don't take this personal or offensive I just wanted to give helpful advice! Thank you! -AiAnime7
| hikora chapter 20 . 8/18/2014
Over already? I want more! And this chapter is really short too! Though it is cute. I'm glad that things are all good now.
| hikora chapter 19 . 7/1/2014
How cute. Shizuo really is becoming a softie. They are so cute together. Please continue to update.