|Reviews for The Story of a Lifetime|
| slightlysmall chapter 1 . 9/29/2014
Wow. I love the Muggleization you did... Peter being crazy, seeing spies and whatnot, and Sirius taking the blame anyway, and the U.S. death row setting. Also, I'm impressed that you could pull off second person for 4k. That's awesome. Wonderfully done.
| insanitylivesinme chapter 1 . 8/13/2014
So thought provoking!
Loved it, and loved the way you translated all the voldemort stuff into muggle-speak ;)
| ReillyJade chapter 1 . 4/13/2014
Even though Muggle!AU is a little out of my element, I found this highly enjoyable and engaging. And I'll happily admit that despite how deep and serious this was, I couldn't help but hear the Law and Order “duhn duhn!” in between each scene change. :p
I really appreciate how well you kept Sirius so... well, Sirius. You didn't change him simply because he was a Muggle, but instead kept him the perfect blend of snarky, tragic, and brooding, with a hint of know-it-all. He truly felt like the Sirius we know and love in canon, which is difficult enough to do when writing within the Potterverse, nevermind AU. Excellent job with him.
The portrayal of the media was perfect. Most reporters will write anything to make the story fly off the shelves, but I'm glad you had Remus genuinely wanting to publish the truth. But like Sirius said, would they have even listened? That makes it even sadder. People believe what's easy, and the truth, in this case, wouldn't have been easy. This is another thing that made Sirius' characterization so believable: he was realistic about what the majority of readers' reactions would be. He didn't sugarcoat anything, which was lovely.
The only character I had a hard time resonating with in this was Remus, and I think that was because he was the only one who didn't have a clear tie to his canon self. Sirius had the family issues/guilt over the Potters' deaths, and Peter was an outcast. While he wasn't written poorly by any means, I think a more solid connection to the Remus we know in the books could have made him seem a bit more in-character. Perhaps, being a Muggle, there could be mention of him battling a lifelong illness as a parallel to his canon lycanthropy? Just a suggestion.
And I really want to know what's in the letter. Like, really bad. Sequel, maybe? Please? :D
Overall, this was a well-written, insightful, and creative one-shot. Thank you so very much for sharing it with us in the Showcase!
| roots are good chapter 1 . 4/11/2014
Beautiful and deep story, I really enjoyed it. I thought the muggleAU was interesting, and that Sirius, James, and Peter were friends but didn't even know Remus. I liked the idea of Remus as a reporter, somehow that fits him. I also liked how Remus started out just listening for a story, but the more he heard the more he really cared what happened too Sirius.
Even though the story mainly centered around Sirius's story, I also liked the perspective of the press that was shown here. When Sirius was asked to describe his relationship with Lily and then got mad, he made a good point. A lot of reporters these days only dig for things that will please the public. They take details and twist them into something else. (For example, Sirius thought Remus would tell the public he had been dating James' wife if Sirius said they were close.) I think these are important messages to share, because we can't really believe half of the celebrity gossip we hear these days.
The ending was very sad, "the storm is finally over. The question mark becomes a period. It was the story of a lifetime. It was the story of a lifetime, and now it's over." Those words are especially beautiful and powerful, and I absolutely loved them. The part where Sirius wanted to die because he felt responsible for James and Lily's death even though he didn't pull the trigger broke my heart. That's so sad!
Grammar and spelling seemed good, and your word flow was lovely. Nicely done in that area.
The one thing I would have changed is that I wish we found out what was in that envelope. The fact that Sirius sent Remus a letter at all, entrusting him with his last confession, was meaningful in itself, but I still wish I knew what was inside.
Overall, amazing story.
| Someone aka Me chapter 1 . 4/7/2014
This is really not okay on so many levels and there are tears in my eyes and I can't really see what I'm typing so I'm really sorry if there are any typos in this but really they'd be your fault anyway because you did this to me.
I love the uniqueness of the plot and I love Remus as a reporter, and Sirius, Sirius refusing to claim innocence because he believes that he killed him, believes that it is his fault. That's so /Sirius/ and kinda beautiful and mostly pigheaded and stupid, which just makes it all the more /Sirius/. And Crazy!druggie!Peter seeing shadows is just a fascinating angle to the story.
It's surreal to think of James and SIrius and Peter growing up together without Remus. Feel like something's missing ;)
I love this, Kels. Love it love it love it. Beautiful and lovely and creative and perf.
| VictoryNike chapter 1 . 3/16/2014
Wow. This story is fantastic. To be completely honest, when I read the summary, I wasn't too keen on this fic. However, once I started reading, I was sucked in. This is great. I love the story adjusted to the Muggle world. This is definitely one for the favorites. I can't get over the setup, with Remus as a reporter for Time and Sirius as a deathrow inmate...I really enjoyed this. Keep this up because you are truly a talented writer.
| Ralinde chapter 1 . 2/27/2014
I'm normally not one one for Muggle!AU, but you pulled it off wonderfully. I mean, I /know/ what happened to James and Lily and that is was Peter who framed them, yet I wanted to read on to know what happened. (I don't know if that makes any sense or if I'm explaining it right.)
Peter having psychological problems instead of being a turncloak was really interesting.
I think you have Sirius very much in character. I like reporter!Remus as well, though he felt less in character than Sirius (but maybe that's just me).
The ending was very tragic, I have to say that I did not see it coming that Sirius chose to die rather then let the truth come out (though one can argue how much value his words would had had since it's probably in no way going to change his fate).
| Bad Mum chapter 1 . 2/23/2014
Muggle AU or not, this is a great characterisation of Sirius - the pride, the obstinacy, the determination to shoulder the blame for what happened. And you transferred it into the Muggle world very convincingly. I especially liked the idea of Peter never being quite right in the head and turning to drugs, and the way you slipped in McGonagall as Remus' boss. I found Remus as a character less convincing in this AU, largely because I found it hard to see him as separate from Sirius' story. To me, he read more like an OC with the same name than as Remus himself. Having said that, it didn't spoil the story for me. I found it gripping and poignant and ultimately tragic. Very well done.
| keeptheotherone chapter 1 . 2/21/2014
Wonderful use of your prompt line. This has a very gritty, immediate feel, I think helped by present tense, which (as far as I can tell) you successfully carried all the way through. I also just now noticed you used second person as well; great job combining those two-I think that choice is part of what gives this story a unique feel. Description is great, and I enjoyed Lupin's self-deprecating attitude about his profession; great way to keep a piece of the canon Lupin. Sirius's grief over his brother and his comment that Lupin couldn't verify his story because everyone who knew the truth was dead hit me particularly hard. I also thought the translation of Peter's motives into Muggle mental illness was a good analogy.
| Lamia of the Dark chapter 1 . 2/13/2014
Lupin seems out of character throughout, but this *is* an AU, so I suppose that's forgivable. I was expecting Lupin's boss to be Rita in that one scene so I was a bit surprised that she wasn't...
The story flows well and the emotions really come through. Second-person narration always strikes me as an odd choice, but you made it work.
I liked that you didn't let the story have a happy ending even after the plot twist was revealed. It brings a kind of realism and finality to it that would be ruined by having things go any other way. I also enjoyed the subtle hint of romance between Lupin and Sirius.
| musefan929 chapter 1 . 2/4/2014
Oh wow, I wasn't expecting such a beautifully written story! I don't come across such stunning dialogue very often and I'm a little blown away. I've never read a Muggle!AU and didn't even really notice, I was too swept into the story between these two men.
You've written clearly and with no mistakes and for that I could almost cry. Your effort is appreciated. Wonderful, wonderful, I can't think of much to say besides that.
"The question mark becomes a period." was a great line, truly stunning. I would almost suggest that it be the last line of the story, possibly omitting the last two (or keeping one and putting this sentence last) because that's where I felt the most impact of the ending. But that's just my opinion.
| DobbyRocksSocks chapter 1 . 2/2/2014
That was amazing. I'm not a fan of Muggle!AU generally, but that was so amazing, it was easy to forget that I don't normally like them. From the very beginning, the story drew me in, and I had to keep reading. I can't even pick out my favorite part, or quote lines, because it was all perfect.
The ending was so bittersweet, and the line (The question mark becomes a period) sent shivers down my spine.
Truly amazing story.
| Lillielle chapter 1 . 2/1/2014
Oh gods, this is a brilliant Muggle AU. I love how you've taken the canon events and transferred them into a Muggle setting. Remus being a reporter makes perfect sense, and gah, Sirius. I could thwack him by the end, even understanding, because he didn't do it, it's not his fault. Peter being mentally ill in replacement for being on Voldemort's side is interesting-I can't help but feel bad for him, but then also quite concerned, considering. I wonder if Sirius actually thought about that? If he dies for Lily and James's murder, what happens to Peter? He should be in a maximum security psych ward...
Anyway, this was all lovely and heart-wrenching and brilliant and oh gods, the angst, and the end of it is perfect.
| hiddenhibernian chapter 1 . 1/29/2014
This was an extremely creative take on a Muggle A/U! You really had to make it American to get the death penalty in, so that works beautifully.
I liked the symbolism around the question mark, and this: “You're not on death row. You're just visiting.” Somehow Remus telling himself that he's just visiting really worked wonders to immerse me in the fic – maybe it's the second person narrative.
“He's lost in the nostalgia of remembering and you see a glimpse of the old Sirius Black, the one in his yearbook photos where he was smiling and happy and his eyes shone like the sun on the water.“ - This was amazing; you've taken the sense of loss and wasted years from canon and twisted it a little to fit into your AU, without losing any of the emotional impact. I think there's so much fanfiction written about Sirius since the picture of him as the golden boy who lost everything is so powerful, and I think you got that across perfectly here.
There was only one thing that struck me as discordant when reading, which was this part:
“I'm watching you drown, and the only thing that you have to do to save yourself is stand up." I see it was part of your prompt so that would explain it, but it doesn't quite fit in the story: even if Sirius would have a change of mind at the eleventh hour, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't just be a matter of explaining that it really was Peter who shot them and he'd be released.
The repetition of 'the story of a lifetime' in the beginning and the end works great; in my mind it emphasises that it was really just a story for Remus, and there will always be more stories no matter how emotionally involved he gets, while it was the end of Sirius.
One little thing about this part (“Black's final trial is set for the week after”): I'd imagine that Sirius wouldn't stand any more trials, since the lag between that and the actual execution usually is years. In my opinion it would make more sense if it was a hearing or appeal that's the last hurdle before he's executed, but then I'm not an American lawyer !
| myspacepatrick chapter 1 . 1/20/2014
W.O.W. Thats really deep! I love it.