sweet fanfic chapter 18 . 6/8
well i really liked the story line. it had so much potential.
the story was good but it rather felt rushed.
what i mean is that you should have given the story, time to grow you know eventual build up.
a little detailing would have been superb
example: 4-6 months of solitary confinement would have driven Bella morose and distant and to the verge of insanity so you could have talked about how she overcame it etc..
LolaTheSa chapter 2 . 4/11
What kind of duties are those? Those seem like normal relationship rules...

I think you just foreshadowed... :P Nice idea.. bad execution.
stephanie.j.daw chapter 1 . 4/10
really good first chapter. xxx
Kayleigh J chapter 18 . 2/22
i enjoyed this one
Caliborn96 chapter 18 . 2/3
It was okay. Not bad but could have used some more chapters to make more drama. Not too much but just a little hit more. Felt like everything fell into place too easy.
jk chapter 15 . 1/7
so he marries another bitch and she is confined to a room for SIX MONTHS and all he has to do is walk into the room and all is forgiven?
what the fuck? fuck that
jk chapter 9 . 1/7
LOL so Edward made bella a whore cause she wasn't a whore? oh that makes perfect sense! Edward can just die already seriously.

by the way your grammar is fuckin horrible
dpennell007 chapter 18 . 9/27/2015
I loved your fast moving story! A strong, powerful Eadward with an initially resistant Bella overcoming obstacles together is always a plus in my book.

Hopefully you will receive a refresher course in grammar as part of your university studies. There were small repeated mistakes such as one of your characters being deaf instead of dead, but not enough to take away the flow of your story. Thank you for sharing, and I hope you continue to write.
Guest chapter 18 . 9/10/2015
Wow super I loved the story.. I really liked it... It was the perfect lenght... Big fan
Anonymous15 chapter 9 . 6/25/2015
Are you seious? This story has become so ridiculous it's off the charts! I mean come on, First he abducts Bella, kills the people in her village and her father, but still wants her to love her. Also he just hands over the baby to another woman as if nothing happened. Then as if its not enough, he made her a slave and sat there like an idiot while she was being abused. But the funniest Bella agrees to marry him despite all her previous talk. It's patheic!
Guest chapter 5 . 5/30/2015
He failed in viking culture. What a pussy.
Kimmie2445 chapter 6 . 4/6/2015
I am really liking this story! Thank you!
Guest chapter 9 . 2/3/2015
This has just gone waaaaay absurd. Take everything away from her, abduct her, and kill her own father but dont worry as long as youre kind to her she will think of you as the most docile and good man in the world. What is this? Criminal minds? What mental illness does she have? And can i just say that edwards excuses of making her a household thrall is just poor bullshit? Why would she trust a man and thank him for saving her when he is the reason why she almost got raped and killed and constantly harmed? He and his pathetic decision making and poor ability to choose good people to be with him is the cause of her dangers. I wonder how such a person can even be a leader. If the way he is dealing with bella is any indication of how he leads then all his people should be dead by now. All he does is make poor decisions that not only end up harming her but degrading her as well. And spineless bella is just in awe of everything he says. He practically shoves her with people who try to kill and harm her but always shows up in the end to save her and cover his wrong decisions and yet despite all this bella still thinks his words are gold and that he is a saint. And dont even get me started on her "anger" and "hatred" towards him that only lasts a second and with absolutely no conviction or until he tells her kind and sweet words or saves her after putting her in trouble then the reasonable anger becomes non existent and he quickly becomes her new favorite hero in a snap of a finger. Edwards a douche
tululah chapter 18 . 1/23/2015
Thanks for your story. You had good ideas, just work on the grammar :)
LaughingBlueEyes chapter 3 . 1/19/2015
I'm interested in where this is heading, however, the English isn't great, and I have to change the sentences in my head in order to read it. It might be a good idea for you to have someone edit this to fix the errors and help you with the English.
457 | Page 1 2 3 4 11 .. Last Next »