Reviews for Albus Potter and the Descent of Dismiusa
Guest chapter 16 . 3/17
You are such an incredible writer it's getting very tense
JL
apukwa chapter 1 . 2/26
For those who haven't checked it out, this is an AMAZINGLY SPLENDID book series. Start at the beginning with "Albus Potter and the Global Revelation".

Once people catch on it will rise to the top of the fanfiction pile - it is on par with the best works out there. This particular story has a siege element to it that will keep you biting your fingernails. I can't say enough about this author - Favourite him and his stories! I can't wait for book 7!
TheNamelessBoy chapter 29 . 2/16
I'm surprised Al saw Scorpius in the Mirror. Had no idea he cared about Scorp so much. But maybe it's your way of showing Al wants *everyone's* life to be okay?

I liked how Alana was concerned about Al's safety. Anyone else getting Snape Deja-vu?
He too protected the child of his unrequited love, even though Lily married James. Now I see why I like Alana. Snape was my FAV character in the HP Books.
Also, Al has Harry's eyes like Harry had Lily's eyes...hmmm so much parallel.
Maybe she saves Al or his siblings and Ginny has to see that she was wrong to hate Alana. (Sorry, but I don't like Ginny here.)

Also, am I the only one to realize Delugson OBLIVIATED Al? (Haven't read book 5 I swear).
Obvious who found him, since they were the ones patrolling. I don't know what to think of Delugson anymore :( Oblivating a 14 year old is just not done. Hope he comes to his senses soon.
TheNamelessBoy chapter 28 . 2/16
So Janelle saves Al! Really hope to see more of her in the next book!

The Solomon/Siobar thing was something. Still a bit confusing, though. How was he able to wriggle his fingers if they're wands?

I support flame7926's statement about Al & Al *hehe*.
And also his "none of my business, essentially whatever made them happy" statement. But then again, that's a personal thing. I've known people devastated by their parent's divorce/cheating.

I hope Al can understand Alana's side of the story.
I really wish there's more Alana in the next book. I kinda feel sorry for her. Unrequited love is harsh.

Also I'm glad about the M rating. As I've said, I thought this book needed more romance. Really hope Janelle lands up at Hogwarts in the next book!

Like how your M rating is not only about sexual situations, but also about violence & language. Too many people just relate M to sex, while it can be result of so many things like sensitive issues, controversial topics, etc.

As for "sex scenes", this site doesn't allow A rating, though I've seen some steamy scenes nevertheless. It can still be done tastefully if you know when to drop the curtain.
TheNamelessBoy chapter 27 . 2/16
I don't think it was a legal quidditch move. I'm pretty sure only the Seeker is allowed to manipulate the snitch in anyway. Otherwise we'd have chasers trying to throw the quaffle at it next! Lol.
Also, given the movement abilities of the bludgers & the snitch, it's highly unlikely that one would be able to hit the snitch with a bludger.
But whatever. I'm not reading this for the quidditch. ;)

Which brings me to...Janelle!

I love Janelle! I knew there was a reason I didn't like the Holly romance!
When she puffed up like like Granma Weasley...!
Can't wait to see their 1st adventure together.

Wish there'd been more AlbusxJanelle in this book.
There was inadequate romance in this book.

I know, I know. I'm the guy who complained about too much romance in books 1 & 2 (maybe even 3)
But Al was 11, 12 & 13 respectively, in those books. And now when he's 14, the romance is lessened?
It's like his 1st & 2nd year had more romance than his 4th year!
I really hope Janelle comes to Hogwarts in book 5. A long distance relationship in his 5th year would suck!
TheNamelessBoy chapter 26 . 2/16
Great Chapter as always.
Don't know what to think about Delugson. One one hand I think he really does care for Albus ( remember that scream when he found Al in the catacombs?). But he's being too sneaky, stepping over the line, for me to like him. The threat to modify the memory was too much.
Again I don't think the Fidelius should work with information the ways it does in this series. But I see it's essential for the plot. Guess I'll just have to bear with it as this story's awesome.

Also not a big fan of how much you're modifying objects from the Original Series. Devotrices are a cool concept, but did you really need to drag the Cloak, the Elder Wand & Horcruxes with it? Some things should be conformed to the book description.
But again that's my view, not a comment on your writing, because you've done all this really well :)
TheNamelessBoy chapter 25 . 2/15
First of brilliant chapter!
Wow!
You write really great action packed events!

Secondly, I found another flaw with your Fidelius charm use. Sorry.
Two points:
1Al already knew the word before Delugson mentioned it.
2Delugson only told him that Devotrices were "is a theorized type of spell". Looking back, he didn't even tell it to Al, Al already knew.
Every other piece of information Al got from other sources.

Yet, the charm keeps Al from even uttering the word, even though Al's knowledge did not come from the secret-keeper & he's knows more than the secret-keeper (like which ones Litinia had used).
So it protects information even the secret-keeper doesn't know? 0_o

So it's like this: I use Fidelius charm on my discovery that "Love is cruel" and tell it to a friend. So the friend becomes incapable of uttering the word Love? Even though he's heard it before and most of this information doesn't come from me?
Also, seeing how foolproof you've made it (Al's arms would seize if he tried to mine the information) the friend wouldn't able to show his *love* to his girlfriend in anyway, even though it has nothing to do with me, the Secret-Keeper?

Because that's what's happening, as Albus cannot tell anyone except Delugson the things even Delugson doesn't know.
Now I'm a great fan of Delugson and all, but can you realize how powerful it would be in hands of a proper, talented villain?
TheNamelessBoy chapter 18 . 2/14
While I like your additions to the magical world, I don't appreciate changing clearly defined spells in the canon. I had mentioned Patronuses in my previous review and now it's the fidelius charm.

There would be a big problem if there was a spell to keep others from finding out a knowledge, which is intangible. The HP Books only mentioned hiding a location, though I can accept it being used to hide any object. But something intangible as knowledge is just too much to accept.

Then any gifted person can just cast it to keep any information he finds for his benefit only.

Also, why didn't Dumbledore cast it on the Prophecy of Harry?
Why didn't he use Fidelius charm on many other bits of knowledge?
We'd have seem a lot more use of the charm in the HP Books if this use was possible.

And regardless of the possibility of whether it was there in the canon, I think being able to Fidelius charm *information* is pushing it.

Aside from that fab chapter as always.
I know that the Fidelius charm mechanism won't change anyway as book six is already complete.
No problem. I've seem stories do worse with how magic works. Yours isn't even near the worst!
This was just my views and I do hope you understand my point.
TheNamelessBoy chapter 15 . 2/14
I saw some unfavorable comments about Alana from the other reviewers. Unfair I think, as never have we seen her do anything like trying to *steal* Harry. I really liked Albus's reaction. Really like how he's so sympathetic and understanding about everyone (Like Gil & Lucy...). His best quality according to me (Though I need to see how he reacts properly in the next chapter).

And really, looking back, all the hint's were there. Like how she turned red when her patronus was mentioned (Wilcox asked how many she could cast..) and how she was refusing to do a corporeal one (because really, one can expect that as a requirement to becoming an auror).
This reminded me of JKR and other great authors more than any other part of your writing.
Kinda like how how the clues all came together about the map & Barty Crouch in Goblet of Fire.
Very well done, this bit.

I really hope that Alana isn't treated inconsiderately. I mean almost everyone is supporting Ginny and all, but Alana's side should be considered too. Ironic how everyone just supports Gil but yet against Alana.
I suppose Harry and Ginny will remain & Alana will have to deal with unrequited love, but I hope she gets more screen time & Harry doesn't act like a teenager by just being awkward, but actually consoles her properly. Because she's not just after Harry for his fame like Romilda Vane (I'm sure many are associating Alana with Romilda, even if subconsciously), but actually in love with him enough to change her Patronus!

This is a sore point with me though. A patronus change is very rare & only supposed to happen very rarely in cases of severe emotional problems or intense love (the once-in-a-life kind). But in your novel, Lucy's patronus changes with her boyfriends and it becomes stupid & not that big a deal. Very upset with this...
Also I think I remember that a patronus could also be used as an identifying measure in the Books. Here, Harry can change his patronus just by changing the memory? Just doesn't seem right.

In cannon one patronus change was a big deal. Here a person can change his patronus at will & a character's patronus changes twice in two years? A patronus was supposed to be an integral part of you. Here it feels more trivial. :(
A big negative in my opinion.

I know this review is too late & already the 6th book has been released, but here are some of my hopes anyway.
I'm really sick of seeing the parents as a perfect couple. In novels where they barely have screen time it's okay, but here, seeing how much time Harry is getting, Harry-Ginny is getting kinda old. I really like how you've gone with the Alana situation, and hope to see some more development there. I'm not saying get Alana-Harry together (though I probably won't complain..I don't like your Ginny very much), but atleast see that she gets some consideration from Ginny. Because it's not like she made herself fall in love ( to use Al's argument in book 3), and Ginny should realize how hard it is to realize that nothing will ever come out of your crush...

Will shut up now and read the next brilliant chapter. It's so addictive, it's almost unhealthy!
TheNamelessBoy chapter 9 . 2/14
Well, those were some interesting views about relationships (Lucy-Kat-Rohan)
The story seems to have quite some not-the-norm views. Like! :)

"Albus didn't know how to feel about this, so he just shut his mouth and continued walking." Great line.
Though I'm curious to see if Al will apply these in *his* love life.
After all, he is in a long distance relationship too...
Undecided if I want him to...

I don't know if I hate or love the way you slip the A-rated references ( massively hung ) with out really raising the rating...

One of your better chapters overall.
TheNamelessBoy chapter 5 . 2/13
Okay Louis & Gil:
1st thought that came into my mind, quite suddenly, is why does everyone make Louis gay? He is the side character I've seen as gay the max times.
As for main characters, I rarely find a gay James, but there are some (a few of them brilliantly written I might add) stories with gay Albus in the lead.
I wonder if people see certain characters in a certain way all around the world...

Next, when I saw the word bi-sexual, I was seriously impressed!
Gay relations I've seen in quite a few fics, but 1st time someone mentioned bisexual. I mean people just put you in one boat or another, like Al did (though he was just 13).
Then I saw the "Women & Caspar sexual" bit ... I can't say how much that impressed me. It's more true than people realize.
Though most have a preference in terms of gender, a person is attracted to another *person* on the merits of that 2 person dynamic. A straight guy is more likely to fall in love with a girl, but it is also possible he might meet the one in a million guy that can make him fall in love anyway. Same with a gay guy and a girl.
So hats off to you.

I realize it's too late for the house thing, but I'm gonna write it anyway:
I'm a proud Ravenclaw!
And this next bit comes from a combination of my understanding of the Houses from the books & myself and my analysing the Pottermore questions:
The Hat took about 4 minutes to sort me and nearly put me Slytherin.
(Most of my choices either gave points to Ravenclaw or Slytherin)
So I'm a slithery Ravenclaw. Very dangerous ;)

PS: Wishing Scorpius would have a more central role :(
Leora Robinson chapter 29 . 2/5
Wow. Just wow. There are only two problems I can see: One, It's gonna be hard to get used to a scar on a chest instead of a forehead but the book will remind me. Two, It's the end of the book but that's not really a problem. So I guess no problems for this chapter!
Monkeywoman02 chapter 5 . 1/26
On Pottermore, I'm in Hufflepuff. Happy birthday!
Guest chapter 3 . 1/18
It really is scary how much identity switching goes on in your stories. It's like you can never be sure who anyone is ever. It's why the aura reading will be so good for Albus. Although I wonder when even that will become fallible. It's disconcerting.
Guest chapter 2 . 1/18
The Cacolevitens potion sounds dangerous to me. How addictive is it? How strong would be a batch that Harry hadn't bungled? Would the effects diminish the more you consume? Just curious. It sounds like it would be handy with the patrons charm, though.
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