Reviews for Pokemon Heroes: The Black & White Chapter (Pilot)
Samantha613 chapter 4 . 3/7/2016
Great story and amazing writing.
MaggiesHeartLove chapter 1 . 2/18/2016
So far, I'm really enjoying it so far. I always had a soft spot for Pokemon and am really excited to see a story that doesn't star Ash for once. I don't hate him I'm just sick of him hogging the spotlight. I love the idea of a fe,ale protagonist and a character who can understand Pokemon. However, if I have to say one complaint is that the Pokemon seem rather...casual about a human being able to understand them. I just thought, at least the Pokemon they first meet, would show some surprise over a human being able to communicate with them. Aside from that, the story itself is pretty good and hope to read more soon.
Daniel W chapter 4 . 1/14/2016
Matt0044 - Great read! I am excited to hear where the adventure continues with Hilda and the gang. Keep on writing!
Nathaniel chapter 4 . 1/5/2016
The whole story was just awesome and very well planned. I can't believe that N finally makes a enterence in this chapter. The way you write your chapters are so well thought out they catch me off guard. Such as me thinking N would be shown in the first chapter of the story since your stories are so well planned out so yes it shocks me that I don't see him in chapter one and its like a major plot twist when I see he comes in at the last chapter. That is just brilliant to do. Idk what that is called in which you make someone believe something or someone is gonna show up earlier and then catch them off guard when you introduce that character or event later on in the story. I look forward to reading anything else you make and I look forward to see where N's destiny takes him :3
Nathaniel chapter 3 . 1/5/2016
U wanted more detail so here goes... This chapter was very brilliant and amazing to read with all the details you explained and all the action. That's the best part of these stories I would state is the action in both the fights and the actions even out of pokemon battles. The way you described the Team Plasma symbol was very genius and the personality you gave the members reminds me of either my grandfather or even Ike himself (a Fire Emblem character) I still enjoy reading this and I love the personalities you give oshawott, tepig, and snivy. As I stated, Snivy is basically almost similar to me with his attitude and his ways of picking on others with his action and words. Keep up the good work
Nathaniel chapter 2 . 1/5/2016
Very very well planned out. I enjoyed the battle oshawott had with snivy yet I didn't expect a tie so thats a good surprise. I then was shocked once I read further down the story and found out what happened to oshawott. Was that by any chance... Team Plasma? i look forward to reading more of your story
Nathaniel Labarc chapter 1 . 12/22/2015
a Very very good starting chapter. I just LOVE the attitude you give snivy since snivy is indeed one of my favorite pokemon. It had some very touching, funny, and interesting moments and i look forward to reading more of this :3
Nic chapter 4 . 12/20/2015
I really like the story as a whole, you have a great talent. That only thing that I can say is to fix up the grammar a bit but other than that it's awesome! I really liked Hilda's personality in this series and I can't wait to read more!
mistressxshadow chapter 4 . 11/11/2015
im pretty sure you gave up writing this since theres been nomore in 2 yrs but these 4 chapters were interesting
Trainer Storm chapter 1 . 9/7/2015
You're doing great with giving all the people and Pokémon their own distinct personalities.
Using brackets to differentiate between human and Pokémon speech is a great idea!
I feel like the scene with everyone going outside so Snivy, Oshawott, and Tepig can show off their moves seems a bit out of place - it doesn't add much to the story besides some conflict between the starters, and that it's already displayed pretty well in their breakfast conversation. If you still want them to show off their moves, the tension between them in their words could escalate into a fight - maybe Snivy would say something to set off Tepig, and Oshawott trying to stop them gets it involved in the fight as well?
While I do like the idea of Hilda having Pokémon friends in the forest, I feel like it introduces too many characters all at once. If you wanted to keep all of them, it might be better to introduce some later - maybe instead of having the parents show up in Chapter 4 to help Hilda, it could be some of the older siblings.
Other than that, it's a really great start.
Guest chapter 4 . 7/21/2015
Omg please continue
Relina16 chapter 4 . 3/7/2015
This is so good. Please update
TirOrah chapter 4 . 1/29/2015
No need to worry about the strategy in your battles, they seem plenty strategic to me! It's nice to see pokemon fights where strength isn't the only way to win, and it's obvious that Hilda and her team still have a long way to go.

Let's see, here are the improveable things that stood out to me for this chapter:

I believe it's "pedal to the metal", not "petal to the mettle." :)

"...before the Shadow Triad arrive in twenty minutes." The Shadow Triad is a singular entity in this sentence, so it should be "arrives." I think this one is a typo, but it's helpful to know either way. However, my primary reason for singling out this one was the "twenty minutes" part. It just doesn't sound like something a real person would say, and feels tacked on just to get the fact in there. I'd suggest either breaking that up into a new sentence or separating it from the dialogue altogether.

What also ties into this is the timeline. It seemed like over twenty minutes had passed, yet the Shadow Triad wasn't there. Later on it was revealed they WERE there, but they were just observing from the shadows, so the timeline is correct. But I feel like it would have been nice to see the villains realize their deadline was up.

I love seeing Team Plasma capable of hurting people, but I'm curious as to how they were planning to kill Hilda. Did they have a gun or something? And for that matter, why not use the String Shot to keep her tied up and take her back to HQ?

I'm also not quite sure why Bert and Jan just gave up when they were defeated. I know Hilda has Pokemon on her side, but I never got the impression she'd hurt them, so there doesn't seem to be any leverage for a 14 year-old to force a surrender with. Am I wrong?

Speaking of hurting them though, Purrloin might! And oh, how I adore what you did with her. A glutton after my own heart, she is! She also seems the most likely to betray Hilda at some point during the story. Apart from the naive Oshawott and the well-meaning kids of Hilda's forest gang-and I dread the day she'll properly start her journey and leave them behind T_T-you're doing a good job at giving every encountered companion a distinct personality that fits the Pokemon in question. I can't wait to see Purrloin try to balance her pragmatic, survival of the fittest front with the good heart she seems to have. I have no doubt there'll be a lot of needling from her side to keep her reputation intact! Oh, and food. Lots of food.

Finally, I hope Hilda will take a shower after all this. I fear for Purrloin's sinuses. (That comment on Hilda's odor cracked me up, it really did.)

That's all I can think of right now! If I see anything else I'll contact you. Good luck!

Neanda
KB chapter 1 . 12/30/2014
Wow..it's been quite awhile, but it's fun to be back in the Pokemon world and to be guided by such an accomplished creative writer. It's difficult to remember back when I first started reading the Pokemon story, but I'm certain that the writing, i.e. plot, character development, dialogue (It sounds very natural to me...not every line out of real people's mouths has "flare." These characters have just enough "snap." Too much would sound phoney.) has considerably more maturity and sophistication than earlier versions.
To be honest, I used to almost skim over the battle scenes. I know they're important, but I'd get lost when reading about move after move after move. However, this time, because of the suspense in the storyline, I paid careful attention to the whole scene, wondering how or if Oshawott would get out of his predicament.
I didn't find anything to criticize, but for a few minor points that have to do with proofreading, not writing.
Oh, almost forgot...I was intrigued by the title. Very clever.
Peter Goldstein chapter 4 . 12/27/2014
Another great chapter Matt. I especially liked the change in the character Purrlion, going from heel to hero and helping out Hilda. She reminds me a bit of Catwoman from the Batman TV show from the 60s.
I also like the Oshawott character as well. Always brings humor and levity to the situation.
Please keep me posted on your latest stories!
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