|Reviews for Second Chances|
| Madalyn1000 chapter 2 . 7/19/2013
| ARLverde chapter 1 . 7/9/2013
Beautifully written. I am looking forward to the continuation. And YES I agree 100% Ellie may have let herself get sacrificed BUT she would never have sacrificed Joel.
| JadziaCee chapter 2 . 7/5/2013
I just have to say, you do such a fabulous job writing. Youve captured both Ellie and Joel in character perfectly. And I agree, I like you keeping this just as a one shot. It stands so nicely on its own. And these little italicized pieces you published here in Chapter 2. Love love love them! you have such a way with words... some of the language and verbage you use are the stuff of Hollywood.
Like the one that begins Live inside the zone was hell... That whole paragraph could have been taken from a novel or hollywood blockbuster.
I really like the one with Joel reflecting on him being a monster. I really do believe that. When you reach the point in the end game when you kill the Dr., I gasped and it was then I finally realized and said to myself, oh my God, Joel is a bad person. He loves that little girl and will do anything for her, which makes him Good and caring, but really, when you look back on everything hes done and the life hes led, he is morally corrupt. He is not the shining hero we come to admire in stories and video games. Rather hes a bit of an anti-hero, but that just makes me love him even more.
Looking forward to reading more of your work.
| UnderminetheAuthority chapter 2 . 7/5/2013
Haha, makes sense. I look forward to the story! And oc's are good as you make em', lest they not be mary sues :P
| Ebony Niteshade chapter 1 . 7/5/2013
The idea of the story in general is really good and in depth. I believe it can go either way as a continuous story or a one-shot with a sequel. The emotion within the story is raw also so congrats on capturing that one. Happy writing newbie(;
| UnderminetheAuthority chapter 1 . 7/3/2013
NOOO, not a oneshot! Continue it! I mean it IS good as a oneshot but continue it anyway 3
| BenignViewer chapter 1 . 7/3/2013
It's a fantastic oneshot. Honestly, I'm nto sure how well ti would develop into a full blown story, but then I have no idea what yyour thoughts are. On the whole, I am not a big fan of OC's and most Last of Us stories necessitate them. Not saying you couldn't pull it off, but I have read many that have done it poorly. So it makes me cautious and a little jaded. However, I am not one to deny creative exploration and development, so if you have more, I would, seemingly contradictingly encourage you to post it.
I would suggest that you post the rest as a sequel, because this story is a moment in time all its own, and stands best isolated like that. The reforging of Ellie and Joel as it were. The ensuing story as a sequel could then never crowd or over shadow this, and will allow you to open your post-game world to those who want to explore it.
Just my thoughts. A very very VERY good piece, with the character's captured perfectly, and exposed so harsly it's beautiful to read. Not a flaw grammatically, nor in formatting or scene setting. The view of Jackson is as detailed and vivid in your words as it appeared in game. My only complaint, is that in their discussion it was not asked, admitted or discussed why Joel lied to her in the first place (and conversley why she chose the particular words 'swear to me that you said was the truth' [paraphrased] to express her doubt, or why she went along with it despite knowing he was lying). It didn't detract anything from the moment you depicted, but it is, in my mind, an extra level of depth they could have shared.
All the best, keep writing, and I'm sure you'll keep turning out these gems!
| Master Li chapter 1 . 7/3/2013
This was great! You really wrote them well and understand where I believe the story was going. I don't believe a cure was possible either and I also believe that Ellie knew he was lying but cared for him to much to ever ruin their relationship. Which is exactly what you wrote here (are we the same person? haha). I encourage you to write more in this fandom, this game deserves more stories then it has. The potential here is endless. As long as there is lots of Ellie and Joel in the story then I'm going to be a reader! Maybe leave this as a oneshot and make the rest of it a new story, that hints at the conversation that happens in this one? I think this is best as a oneshot too, but I still want to see what you have planned!