|Reviews for Lost Effect|
| helenGet chapter 25 . 4/14
I love this story. Hope you will write more.
| Tafferling chapter 25 . 3/16
Month longh survival training! Nice- I'm pleased by how much effort the Blue Suns are putting into their troops. The investment is substantial, and I'm sure it pays off.
(But yeah, no ExtraNet access would probably suck...)
And will we actually get to see them visit each other's hovels? That'd be neat, I'd love to see what you think of how they live.
| Tafferling chapter 24 . 3/16
You continue to make Vilnius interesting and incredibly likeable. I am absolutely with him on how he responds to his father. Or how he tries to, at any rate. Tries. Fails. Tries again. And settles for something that he's stripped all emotion from.
[The others. They've been okay so far. Less annoying than I thought. The turian's pretty smart. The human would be fine too, if she'd stop arguing with Javern all the time. The salarian's not as bad as I thought either, but I'm still waiting for him to get himself killed.] Aw, Breck. I got slight fuzzy feelings inside.
Javern has baggage too, eh? They all do, and that shouldn't come as a big surprise. You wouldn't join up with a mercenary group if you hadn't. Unless you're a bit crazy. Like that lady with her smiley faces.
And Hyrn! He's got an entirely different voice in writing, where he doesn't stutter, doesn't feel pressured. That's a lovely touch to add.
| Tafferling chapter 23 . 3/16
[ He then looked at me.] *excited shuffle*
[He sighed. "Right. Here." He transferred another file to my omnitool. "Read that. You've got the basics down, but you're using brute force and making amateur mistakes. When you start working for real, it's going to get you and your team killed." Without another word, he walked over to the next person.] I like this tutor. He's no-bullshit-fair.
[I turned sharply about to face the speaker, an asari with sky blue skin and a few inches on my reasonable 5'5". Her eyes were a cloudy grey color, and the matching silver dots of paint on what would have been her eyebrows had she been human were the only facial decorations she had.] Beautiful description. Very word-porny.
[The two curved lines met, making a U shape, and there were two dots above it.] Oh god I love it.
[The girl was getting stranger by the second. "But… I mean…" I took a deep breath. "Accidental acts of badassery are nice and all, but actively trying to pull off stunts like that on a battlefield is just…" Stupid, childish, idiotic… "…dangerous."
That gave her pause. "Well yeah, but it's worth it. There no point in doing something if you don't look cool while doing it."] *proceeds to squeal*
I love this a lot, and I'm a fan of how you're not really buying into the bullshit, even if it's tempting to discard danger in favour of that little *extra.*
And wonderful, we've got world building here. How you've chosen to realise the alternate realities, using Sandman and the Dream theory to bring the Mass Effect universe alive.
An overfriendly neighbour, huh? Let's see where this is going.
| Tafferling chapter 22 . 3/16
[Holyfuck I was hit with a chair. That was new.] :D
Hurr, Javern: ["If by 'distract', you mean 'get thrown across the room and nearly crushed by a table', then yeah. I distracted her."] There was a LOT of furniture being thrown all over the place.
[I suppose a quarian, a batarian and a human seem like an odd group.] A quarian, a batarian and a human walk into a bar...
That was a great chapter, we got to see more of the characters. See you get a break towards the end. A little peace and quiet, hard earned with blood shed. Well. I guess it could have turned out worse... didn't lose anyone. Not yet.
["How about you me what happened?"] you -tell- me, I suppose?
| Tafferling chapter 21 . 3/16
[ This was not an unusual occurrence in this household.] Aw, I feel a little sad for Hyrn here :T
[Brek, who had been quietly listening with a fascinated look, broke though his trance. "I'd like to try it."
Javern blinked in surprise, and whipped around to examine Brek's face. Seeing his sincerity, the tattooed batarian broke into a grin.] aw :D
And once again it's Vilnius that I enjoyed the most. He really does push all my buttons, and I liked how you characterised him in this short piece.
Some con-crit here: You used a lot of "the -insert-colour-here" batarian/salarian, etc", all of which don't necessarily help with the flow of the story. Using names is okay. Using names is preferred, especially since you've already established the characters.
Also: [Why don't you go sit down while, Brek?" The one known as Brek looked uncertain,] "sit down a while, Brek?" Missed a word there? And then just going "Breck looked uncertain," is sufficient, instead of doing the whole "the one known as..."
| Tafferling chapter 20 . 3/16
Your first mission, and of course its about to go tits up, isn't it?
I really enjoyed that glimpse into something *normal* here, for once. That reach for old media, and a comparison of this reality, to the Mass Effect one. How some things are the same, and some aren't.
| Tafferling chapter 19 . 3/6
[Vilnius was nodding, as though he'd understood completely. He was obviously in his element. Brek's expression was that of utter disinterest. Hyrn was blinking rapidly, looking as lost as I felt, and Javern had a small scowl on his face. I knew he hadn't followed the turian either, I saw him staring off into space earlier, and he was likely covering it up with hostility.]
The contrast between them is lovely.
You make an Omni-tool sound so incredibly useful. I want one. Hacking. Translating. Jamming weapons. Ordering foods. Tinder. What? Wait? Huh?
[ I had no hard feelings or anything.
I just wished to god he would fall off the ledge over there and die.] *snort*
["God, just… fuck you, four-eyes!"
It just degenerated from there.] *more snorting*
[I whirled around and found Vilnius standing behind me, sniper rifle in hand.] *shuffles forward* Mhmmmmm. Vilnius with his sniper rifle. Interest is piqued. Oh oh oh, will he give you extra lessons at the firing range? Am I allowed to be excited about this?
[His eyes went wide, and his mandibles lowered considerably. "You're female?"
…what. I…. what? He- how could- what?!] *loud mouth noises of amusement*
But no firing range help. Aw. Damn.
| Tafferling chapter 18 . 3/6
You ever sit down with Lera and just chat about nonesense? So far we haven't seen much of that. A bit of domestic bliss between the hardship? I'm dying for some of that. Will there be some? Can I have some?
Also: [ "Oh, it's nothing." His two pairs of eyes blinked slightly out of sync.] :D
[He was speechless for a moment but then he just smiled and said, "You're welcome."] Aw... See- social awkward you might have been, but you're good with the people that matter. And that is lovely.
[ If I didn't know better, I'd say that he was fighting the urge to stand at attention.] I'm turning into a Vilnius fangirl here. Damnit.
I'm SO glad that this team is sticking together, and can't wait to see how much shit they stir. Or how they will be coping working together from here on out. Will Vilnius show himself as a natural leader? As he is already? Will you step up as his second? What will happen to Hyrn, that frightened little thing?
So many questions. So much looking forward to all the answers.
| Tafferling chapter 17 . 3/6
Getting properly geared up there, are we? Almost fully kitted out, and ready for almost anything.
(And then Taren with his "Are you okay?" and my heart melts a little)
Aaaaaah... the age old struggle of "Fuck you, I am not getting up. Yeah, I'm hungry and yeah I'm thirsty and my bladder is about to pop, but this bed is cozy and it's warm and adkfjasfjsf."
Thank you for this extra bit of Taren and Lera here. I've missed those two :)
| Tafferling chapter 16 . 3/6
Oh! You are going to fulfil a protection racket/contract/thing. Well, that's better than being sent after some poor mooch to kill them just 'cause.
["So that we can communicate in combat without having to yell at each other." There was an unstated duh at the end of that sentence.] *snort*
[I was more than a little uneasy with the fact that I was in an area I had never been to before with people who were most assuredly dangerous and with no way to get back to 'my' district, but what's done is done. There wasn't much I could do to change this now; the only thing left to do was move forward.] Love your way of thinking there. The "Nothing I can change about this- might as well just go with it." attitude is admireable. I'm quite certain that it's partly why you're not losing her mind.
Aw :D Bonding over Omni-tool customisation option :D
Then things start moving, and I really like Vilnius being in charge there, and how there isn't any bickering. Even from Brek, which I can appreciate. Speaking of Brek: He reminds me of a more crude version of Jayne Cobb :D At least a little.
[God this fucking hurts why does it hurt so damn bad agh fuck damn bitch fucker.] An understandable reaction.
[The turian walked into my sightlines and stared at what had been my ear. "Are you okay? That doesn't look good."] I have already said that I like Vilnius. I say it again tho'
[It could have been worse. I could have lost an eye. I shuddered. That would have been horrible. I could have died. Also horrible.] Both statements I can agree with. It's just an ear... you can probably grow it back.
I'm terribly sorry for constantly going "you" in my comments, by the way, rather than she. It's a habit. Tell me if you'd like me to stop.
| Tafferling chapter 15 . 3/5
Interesting, breaking your mold with an intermission that gives a little insight into the rest of this ragged group. I liked Vilnius before, and I still do, but I'm not sure if leaving his thoughts private might not have given him a little more weight. Mystery is good, and first person is so lovely for building it. Still. Very nice
| Tafferling chapter 14 . 3/5
Oh man. Sounds like the first proper combat engagement is coming up. But at least it gets you free repairs?
[and the salarian who was vibrating so much I was worried he might disappear from the visible spectrum altogether.] *snort*
[My feet were suddenly extraordinarily fascinating] *snorts again* I love it. Love-love, because I do that too. FEET ARE WONDERFUL LIKE THIS
Hehe, the Turian is the capital of Lithuania! :D
.. aw. No FREE repairs. But repairs. That's still nice though.
| Tafferling chapter 13 . 3/5
Wonderful transition here:
[Break line of sight, hack mechs, let them disable salarian.]
[Break line of sight, hack mechs, let them *kill* salarian.]
Also: "lul" about the realisation on the helmet. Oh! Merc sign up time! And a vetting processes. *shifts in seat* I like it. And liked it all the way through to the end.
| Tafferling chapter 12 . 3/4
You're always giving *just* the right amount of detail as you move us through this, still setting scenes incredibly well. [There were a good twenty or so people in the club, over half of which was on the dance floor. The lighting was a nice, soft violet and the music was some sort of techno-dubstep hybrid with an alien singing so fast my translator couldn't keep up.] is a prime example of just that.
"You stand out." Yeah, that's all manners of obvious, and I'm proud to see you're still standing despite of it.
[I did in fact know Garrus for a while, he just didn't know me.] This always fascinates me about SIs, in particular romantic ones though. The thought of having known someone way longer before, having potentially formed an attachment. Affections, whatnot. There's something appealing about "You've got me at a disadvantage, I have some catching up to do."
*shuffles in seat* This meeting is interesting. I am curious to see where this is going. New friends?
["Now I have a nice big scar to remind me what happens when I get curious."
He laughed, and I almost smiled.] Love it.
Love the rest too, the fight with Lera and the bonding moment with Taren. AND ITS ALMOST MASS EFFECT TIME, and I am still very curious on what will happen.
[but a sudden bout of nausea stopped me. All I could think of was hacking those mechs and the bullets and the green everywhere-] Delicious piece of doubt there.
Great chapter :)