Reviews for Bloody Roar II: A Killer's Seduction
Snafu the Great chapter 1 . 9/2/2007
I like how you set the pace for the story. Eventhough I'm not into Bloody Roar, I'm begninning to like this story.
Leebot chapter 30 . 8/28/2007
Aw, Uriko's so sweet. I can really see why Kenji's starting to fall for her (even if he can't and would never admit it). After all that he's done, she still cries when forced to hit him, and takes care of him afterwards. I'm also intrigued that she showed no reluctance in sleeping in the same bed as him, even holding onto him while they slept.

Heh, you know, when I first started reading your story, it was slow progress at first and I wondered if I'd ever get through it. Now I'm over 3/4 done (of what you've written so far), and doing 2-3 chapters a day. You've really gotten me hooked. As you mentioned a while back, it did indeed grow on me.

PS. Would have been easier for Kenji to admit his shuriken in the last chapter was cheating, but maybe it just never crossed his mind to think of it that way.
Leebot chapter 29 . 8/28/2007
Pfft. Some honor that Kenji has, pulling a weapon in a fight like this! If I were in Uriko's position, I'd declare victory due to a forfeit right there. I'm really surprised she didn't complain about that tactic.

As usual, I'm very pleased with your writing of the combat scenes here. The only thing is, I'm still kinda addicted to your romantic stuff, so I might not be paying as close attention as usual here. Still a little of their interaction here, which I always like.
Leebot chapter 28 . 8/28/2007
Before anything else, congratulations on 700 reviews for this fic! I'm glad I could help you get there. *huggles* Now, the way I see it, if you can make it to 52 or 53 chapters at this rate of reviews/chapter, you should be able to break 10. Do you think you have it in you?

I've said it before, but I'll repeat it now: I think you do the combat scenes very well. It's always clear what exactly is happening, and the action never feels rushed or dragged out. In this case, some conversation during it helped a bit with the pacing, but I think you could do just as well if you didn't have that playing in.

Kenji really seems to have changed since two chapters ago. He's a lot more sympathetic to Uriko here, unlike his callous treatment of her before. Maybe the time which passed got rid of some of his frustration with her? Then again, maybe it's because the situation is different. Here, it's physical pain, but back then it was a situation he figured she should have/did enjoy.
Leebot chapter 27 . 8/27/2007
I have to say, you've gotten me rather attached to the sensual and personal parts of this fic. As such, this chapter just didn't interest me as much. I guess the fact that I've never played the games probably played into that as well.

Seeing as I don't have anything else to comment on and it's a bit humorous, I'll just note that the ads Google supplied for this page are for "Yaoi," "Gunsmithing Tools," and "Way of Christian Samurai." Make of that what you will.
Leebot chapter 26 . 8/27/2007
Hmm, I'm starting to see what you meant when you said Kenji would be getting more villainous. After what he put Uriko through, he couldn't let up on her about it, and wouldn't even let her have a night off from sleeping with him. Poor girl...

I'm also a bit pleased to see the developments with Uriko's mentality here. It's finally snapped in to her what's happened, and you've got her acting pretty much like a real victim would in this situation. To be honest, with all that Kenji's putting her through, I'm surprised she's holding up as well as she is. I'd expect the stress to be breaking her down a lot more (particularly after this incident), but I guess she's pretty strong.
Leebot chapter 25 . 8/25/2007
Wow... I really have to reaffirm how good you are at writing this kind of thing. I practically burst a blood vessel in reading this.

However, despite all that... it still kind of bothers me how Kenji forced her into this. Even if she started to enjoy it, she didn't really have a choice, did she? You should really be careful when writing things like this. Go too far and you'll be sending the message that rape is okay if the victim sufficiently enjoys it.
Pillager chapter 37 . 8/25/2007
Finally, I have time to myself (and time to review this story!).

It goes without saying, this piece of fiction has those peculiar yet unique emotional bits that just give off a feel all its own. Of course, that's your style and I'd expect no less out of you! I get the feeling that you don't write these chapters because "you're just bored" like some of the younger authors do, but instead think ahead and allow yourself to be a little more in tune with what's happening as opposed to the scenario described before. Again, it's something I see in your style!

Your use of descriptive vocabulary allows the story to flow from one sentence, one paragraph, one chapter to another, and that's quite all right with me. Once upon a time, I didn't have the attention span or the knowledge to actually grasp the concept of adjectives, but now that I do, I'm able to appreciate written works such as this one much, much more.

But more into the chapter here; I hope Uriko is able to get out of this situation. Maybe if she gives him one of those kisses that you've so romantically described in past chapters, he'll be hypnotized into letting her go. Or not... We can hope, can't we? Can't wait for the next update, take your time!
Leebot chapter 24 . 8/25/2007
First of all, let me say that I'm pleased to see that you've actually gotten many of the ill effects of a near-drowning correct. So often on TV you'll see people recover after just a little mouth-to-mouth and CPR (even when their heart has stopped), spit out some water, and be fine. In actuality, even with a less severe case like what you have here, it's much less pretty with much more vomiting. Glad to see you actually have it right.

Man, Uriko's almost too compassionate for her own good. She doesn't spare one thought to escaping here, even though she could probably get away with it and Kenji would survive if she left him in the cottage. And then she feels ashamed of herself after that? She must really care about him, whether she'll admit it or not.

:P Kenji sure can be mean, though. I guess all that brainwashing isn't so easy to overcome. I hope he doesn't end up doing anything REALLY bad to Uriko...
Leebot chapter 23 . 8/23/2007
Alright, a few thinks here I'd like to comment on. First of all, there's "younger youth" which I've already commented on. Yes, you're being specific, but that's not always necessary. And just because it's correct doesn't mean it's going to sound good to the reader. You have to put yourself in their place and see if the overall flow works. A similar issue comes up with your use of the word "usage." While it's correct to use it how you did, the word "use" is much more natural (to me at least). Remember, brevity is the soul of wit (or, as The Simpsons has it, "Brevity is... wit").

One little inconsistency I noticed in this chapter is that while you have Uriko shivering noticeably at first, this disappears from her speech about halfway through the chapter, despite the fact that she's getting colder. Now, in some situations, this might be her body getting use to the temperature, but she's already been there for quite a while and there shouldn't be much change at this point.

Sorry if this review comes across as a bit stinging, but you know I just want to help you improve your writing. I can't do that without pointing out the bad (er, not-so-good maybe?) parts. As much as I'd like to simply shower you with compliments to make you feel good, I have to be honest either way. The flipside to this is that you know that I really mean it when I compliment you (as with your handling of romantic parts), you know I really mean it, so I hope you can be legitimately proud then.
Andrew Glasco chapter 37 . 8/22/2007
Yo! Seems Kenji's gotten pretty serious here, eh? This definitely felt like an in-game fight in that they take a beating and keep on keepin' on through hell and high water. ) I'm looking forward to seeing the result of the end of the battle and how you compose everything as things go forward. Kenji's something of a sadist, isn't he? He seems to enjoy his work a lot. XP

Anywho, looking forward to next chapter!
Leebot chapter 22 . 8/22/2007
Hmm, judging by the author's note, I'm not the only one to feel that way about the last chapter. Of course, I can't be so adamantly against the possibility that she would react that way. I could see her going some distance, but it did seem like it took her too long to put a stop to it.

She's definitely confused; I'll give her that. On the one hand, she's telling herself that they're too different and would never work as a couple. On the other hand, she's thinking she can help coach him back into normalcy. What's to say the latter won't accomplish making them compatible? Of course, this is exactly what I expect to see happen ;).
Leebot chapter 21 . 8/22/2007
Wow, just wow. I don't know where to begin with this one. You're amazing at the romantic parts. It's so sensual, and they've barely gone beyond kissing so far! Ooh, and isn't this their first consensual kiss as well?

There's just one thing I'm wondering about though: Is it really possible for her to get gone that far in a romantic haze? I really have no idea myself if that's possible, and it seems a bit much for her to get that dazed just from being touched. Especially when she's restrained as she is, I'd expect her to be more resistant. Then again, maybe some of it's the surprise of Kenji doing this, and even some latent attraction to him that's coming out.

I also just have to say, I love the line "a disturbingly perfect fit."
Leebot chapter 20 . 8/21/2007
Aw, this chapter is pretty cute. Uriko's really turned around since finding out that Bakuryu is Kenji. I guess that seeing that he's an actual person - one she knew no less - forced her to soften towards him. Of course, since she's thinking of him as "Kenji" now (or so I assume, as you use that to refer to him in the text), he's a bit more humanized that way.

Uriko's actually being pretty clever here - possibly more clever than she realizes. She's actually tricked him into playing with her, and he fell for it. Even when she pushed him into the lake, it caused him to pull her into it - more playing. And his "proving his point" about her relying on speed also seems a lot like playing with her. She's really doing a lot better than she realizes.

Just one little correction for you: In the first paragraph, you describe Kenji as being in a "subconscious state." I think you mean "unconscious" here; subconscious describes the thoughts that go on beneath the conscious mind. Unconscious means being asleep/fainted/in a coma.
Karatequeen13 chapter 12 . 8/21/2007
LOL they fighting over the damn bed. He just came and said move over. HA Uriko shouldnt had that thought from earlier.

"Damn it Baky! Watcha lookin' at?"

"Your body."

"Go pick up some hoe off the street if you wanna fuck somebody!"

"I'm trying to see how you're healing you stupid little girl!"

She is doing that... accusing him of being pervertive although he hasn't really tried anything towards her... yet. Accept look at her, and thought about her. But that's not a crime we all have fancies!
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