|Reviews for Bloody Roar II: A Killer's Seduction|
| ariescelestial chapter 12 . 11/27/2007
Okay, hopefully doesn't eat this one.
First of all: *boots Bakuryu out of the bed*
I did like the "gotcha" he pulls out of Uriko when he points out that she's the one always interpreting everything as perverted (conveniently leaving out that she's turning him into a pervert XD).
| ariescelestial chapter 11 . 11/27/2007
"Falling asleep had never been so hard before and the girl wished she could take the same pills she used previously to render him unconscious, but feared that if he merely glimpsed them, he would become furious from recalling the memory."
What the hell, he let her KEEP them after the first time? *whacks Bakuryu for being an idiot*
...and Uriko's right, he IS repetitive after a while. But she kind of is too.
| ariescelestial chapter 10 . 11/27/2007
"Bakuryu had to consciously remind himself that she was his enemy and he could not spare the teeniest bit of pity or sympathy; he was bewildered at his own sudden desire to comfort her after the strong show of emotions."
It's like the more of a bastard Bakuryu is being, the more old Kenji, wherever he is in that messed-up brain, sits up and goes "Huh. This doesn't seem quite right..."
...or something. XD
I'm looking forward to the next few chapters-I really hope Uriko wins the fights, though it doesn't seem likely unless Bakuryu grows a conscience and loses on purpose.
| ariescelestial chapter 9 . 11/27/2007
“M, the smell of blood… and of an intoxicating, yet pure young female… very enticing… No other scent can match the uniqueness of either one… and yet both arouse very different emotions, do you not agree, Uriko Nonomura…?”
After that line, there is no way I can believe he was not a pervert, even before he met Uriko. XD
Ah, too bad for her he woke up so soon...that's cheating, Kenji. *gets the newspaper again*
| ariescelestial chapter 8 . 11/27/2007
...well, great, now I'm depressed that Yugo's dead in this fic and I probably won't see much more of him. :(
Uriko's comment about having to go home soon didn't really seem rude to me, so I was kind of surprised when Alice reacted like that. I mean, it's abrupt, but if it's true... .
| ariescelestial chapter 7 . 11/27/2007
GO URIKO! :D
Seems kind of weird that Bakuryu didn't know about the pills (he didn't check to make sure she had no weapons, or did he assume she needed them and left them with her?) but still, very clever move on Uriko's part.
| ariescelestial chapter 6 . 11/27/2007
I loved the scene with Alice, because just as I was reading the scene right before it I started wondering "aren't the campers going to notice she's missing? Did anyone call Alice?" Apparently not; they must have assumed she decided to stay home. Poor Uriko is up a creek without a paddle!
Kenji seems to get tense way too much. Then again, I guess this is the first time he's had to deal with any of his targets for an extended time.
| ariescelestial chapter 5 . 11/27/2007
Her weight would be "bearing" down on his back, not "baring", but besides that...I really liked this chapter. The end reminded me briefly of Sasha and Alice in Devil's Masks, a bad guy being "nice" by carrying the exhausted girl. Except, well, Bakuryu is a lot more biting and sarcastic about the whole deal. XD
| ariescelestial chapter 4 . 11/27/2007
I'm honestly surprised Kenji took her to the lake. I thought he was going to have her make due with the sink. XD
Really like how they keep pushing each other in this chapter, rather than it just being Kenji pressing Uriko's buttons. :)
| ariescelestial chapter 3 . 11/27/2007
I focused on wording a lot in this chapter, sorry. I don't mean to nitpick, they just jumped out at me.
"the brooding figure shook his head free of delicious thoughts, wanting to get back on track before he was distracted too deeply and became unable to distinct fantasy from reality"
You might want to use "distinguish" in place of "distinct".
"A quick gaze around the room failed to reveal the location of the bag that contained her belongings but the girl scuffed, having more the desire to leave her prison than to search for her possessions"
I'm not completely sure what you meant by "scuffed".
"nothing shorter of death or severe torture"
"Shorter" should be "short".
This is repetitive, since "predecessors" implies "previous".
"neatly slicing the thin corresponding strap of her upper attire in half."
...Kenji, you perv. XD
"the shuriken confirmed her suspicions and she had to brave through the situation"
It'd usually be used as "brave the situation", without the "through".
Gah, I was going to stop at this chapter for today, but the ending really wants to make me read the next...here we go...!
| ariescelestial chapter 2 . 11/27/2007
Hm, I don't really have to say much about this chapter, honestly. It turned out pretty much the way I expected. Although I was a little surprised that Kenji would taunt Uriko like that. I guess he wasn't worried at all about her possibly escaping; makes sense with his agility.
| ariescelestial chapter 1 . 11/27/2007
The note that the victim's clothes are still covering his private region made me laugh. I mean, I don't know what your intention was in writing that, but the killer's description up to that point made it seems like he wouldn't care, so the mention seems like frantic hand-waving, "no nudity here!"
"Become the aforementioned adversary" seemed a little awkward. Is this guy really the kind who'd use words like "aforementioned"? But I really liked the description of his movement as he's talking, the shrug and the jerk of his chin.
I like how Uriko gets the tea for Alice, she seems like a sweet girl. But she dumped it out instead of drinking it herself? She must not like it all that much herself...
*gets further in the chapter* ...oh wow, he really *is* the kind of guy who'd use "aforementioned" in regular speech. XD
Seems weird that the old man (uh, just the impression I get from the voice, maybe I'm wrong), first says that Uriko "willingly" joined them, was "snatched away", and then says she's "roaming freely". Did you intend to have him slip up the third time? Because the first two imply she'd rejoin them if she could, but can't; the third one makes it sound like she's doing just dandy, thank you very much. Unless he's implying that the rebel group did something to her mind to turn them on their side, which would be so ironic considering poor Kenji's state.
"then he hastily swung roaming eyes away to avoid staring too long"
Uriko manages to breakthrough Kenji's brainwashing to find-hormones! Good ol' teenagers. lol
o.O Old man, don't give Kenji ideas! "break her in"...sheesh!
"See you in a couple of months, Alice!"
Ultimate recipe for trouble there. Hahahah.
"His assignment had been found, walking about the public area in plain sight on the way to a destination that he was uninformed of"
You mentioned in the last scene that she had to go to her school; shouldn't he know where this is, being assigned to capture her?
*and even later* ...oh darn you, Kenji. You just took the old man's intent of "Break her in" and made it even WORSE. *smacks him with a rolled-up newspaper*
"Unless she is nothing more than clueless individual that cares only about herself, and is completely oblivious to her surroundings…"
...not knowing the series, I am curious to see if he's got it right in one. lol
"Distracted by that train of thought, he almost chuckled, a bit tickled with such delicious sensations of dominating this young girl, but he quickly covered his mouth to avoid letting out any indications of his presence, as he had to have the element of surprise."
This is definitely a way to get a reader's attention. I really hope Uriko will be all right, but since you warned me about the violence, I'm guessing not.
The wordiness gets a bit over-the-top for me, sometimes, but then again, I think our writing styles are polar opposites in that aspect. So it's likely just me. But it's a great chapter, really drew my interest.
| Francisco Devilman Warrior chapter 21 . 11/26/2007
Hmm a little romance or will it turn into something ugly later good work.
| Francisco Devilman Warrior chapter 20 . 11/26/2007
Hmm kenji is still a bastard can uriko change that good stuff keep it up.
| Francisco Devilman Warrior chapter 19 . 11/26/2007
Damn kenji was being nice then became a bastard again. good stuff.