|Reviews for Fighting Without a Cause (discontinued)|
| Lerris chapter 35 . 1m
This was noted as discontinued prior to me reading it. Nevertheless it was a good read. My suggestion is to finish the current arc, even if it is not perfect, then do an epilogue where you try to cover how things turned out and maybe the highlights. Yes, it wouldn't be as good as a full ending, but it would still be quite a bit of an improvement, and it seems a shame not to get at least that much. I don't see any need to rewrite. What you have looks usable. There is no great reason for Harry to choose between his past and his present. The most you would need to rewrite would be to exclude the bit about meeting death, which is only this chapter. Perhaps it could instead go something like this?
Death said, "You now know of the web of realities, of choices, good, bad, and in some cases simply amusing, at least for me. Some would call one like you the Master of Death. You are not. Your are at best my sometimes servant, yet here this world stands at the crossroads and you, the master of four of my gifts are the key. In some ways you have been fighting without a real cause, save what friends you have obtained and those who now look to you. Perhaps that is the solution? Shall the world tilt towards Emperor Harry? Would that fix things? What would you wish of this world?"
"No, it wouldn't fix things, though it might buy time, it might also make reaching a true solution impossible."
"Then what?" Death asked, clearly amused.
"Truth," Harry said, almost before he realized he said it.
"Oh? How does truth fix things. Shall we forbid people from lying?"
"What if... What if magic tilted towards truth, if it helped us to see it and to recognize it. The sheep are easily mislead, but perhaps that could change, or be lessened?"
"You have passed my test Harry Potter."
Harry blinked, half wondering if he was to get something out of the deal, but certain he did not dare ask.
"You have already received my gift. I have asked the question. You have provided an answer. It will be up to you and all the rest to see if that answer can be implemented."
At any rate, if the idea is useful your welcome to it. Either way, thanks for writing...
| averagefish chapter 35 . 11h
It's a shame you've abandoned this, your plot kept getting more and more intense. It's exilherating.
Judging by the improved quality of your writing you did find yourself a Beta for the more recent chapters, good for you. It made a real difference to the legibility and engrossment.
Whatever you've moved on to now, congratulations on having written this much, it has helped you grow as a writer. In the future, use a dictionary for words you're unsure of, instead of letting spell check fool you with homonyms.
You may want to put up your outline and offer the work for adoption, so that someone else can give your work a new life.
| xellostroubl3 chapter 15 . 4/1
You no what's messed up about Harry being taken from his own world, he could of still been fighting to protect his own family and friends in his own world. If that did happen I don't think Harry would've helped them, but be looking for a way to get home to his actual friend and family.
| forget the rest chapter 33 . 3/9
The premise is fine but the writing is lazy.
| Arthorius chapter 35 . 2/1
rewrite? more like abandon aka dead fic... fairly good fic. though have to wonder why you wrote harry doing the stupid, rushing into things, letting his temper get the best of him... all traits of griffindore house aka cannon fodder aka greater good aka we do not kill aka cowards...
| justanfanboy chapter 35 . 1/26
aaaarrrgghhh so dissapoiting this is stopped, read it in one session, loved it if you finished it but still a great story for a far it was finished
| Regis chapter 35 . 1/18
Thank you for continuing to share your work.
| Mikle Silver chapter 3 . 1/5
Fifteen minutes walk? In the house? Is it even bigger than a football field? I mean Harry alone could have spent fifteen walking if he got lost, but he was with his "sister". So is it not to long for walking the house? Or they did walk like turtles?
| Bjalf chapter 12 . 12/22/2016
Good story, fairly good writing. The spelling and grammar errors are on the right side of distracting. Barely.
Until this chapter. There's a significant drop in writing quality.
The chapter feels rushed and unfinished. It might pass through a spell checker, but that doesn't mean it makes sense. There are homophones everywhere. Have you even read it yourself after you finished writing it?
This chapter is a crossroads. Continue reading or leave? Decisions, decisions.
| Guest chapter 4 . 12/14/2016
Mindscapes 'n magical exhaustion 'n shrunken trunks 'n Manors For Everyone...
You should have abandoned this much sooner.
| OperaEagle IcelynLacelett chapter 1 . 12/16/2016
Probably read this later. Dumbledore summons an unwilling hero
| iStyx chapter 35 . 12/11/2016
Damn it, that was one of the most interesting "Harry was summoned to another world" story :(
| lexus4444 chapter 35 . 12/9/2016
Personally I don't think this story needs a rewrite, but every has pride about their work . Thanks for what you written so far.
| fisoba chapter 35 . 12/8/2016
Sad that you stop now. Read your story in one night and really liked it. Good luck with your next project
| Guestapo chapter 34 . 12/6/2016
Man, this story got weird. You'd think Harry would care more about protecting himself when the people he's protecting turn out to be as bad as the ones he's fighting.