Reviews for Innocent |
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![]() ![]() ![]() Well, it does say drama is the genre, so I guess I cant complain too much about how much its played up. But my interest seems to have waned again, so I'll bid the readers and the author adieu. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I skimmed chapter titles out of morbid curiosity and happened to see one that indicated something had happened to move the story forward. It was an interesting chapter. I did some word count checks on the potter books as a comparison point, with 75k for book 1 and 250k for book 5 (rowlings longest book), to see if my measure was off. It wasnt. Over 300k words into the fic at this point, and not even a full year has passed. This isnt a complaint about the length of the book, but rather the pacing. Almost any chapter in particular is well written, but taken together, they drag. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Yeah, I think I have run out of patience for this story. More power to those who are enjoying it, but it feels like it is drifting aimlessly to me. |
![]() ![]() ![]() So, Im about 200k words in and I'm unsure what exactly the point of the story is so far. It seems to have gotten majorly bogged down in repeated attempts to dramatize the situation of harry and sirius having to live in hiding. There was some interest with the goings on of the horcrux via kreacher, but overall the story has settled into a pace that is glacial, seemingly dragging its feet for no reason. Is this is a slice of life story, meant to be about the daily lives of the characters within? I guess I dont understand. The writing is skilled, but that only takes it so far for me when nothing grabs my interest in the plot. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Sigh, rather than go on about this, we could have cut to sirius and marlene, and return to this if it became relevant. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Your Snape is weird. This thing of having him come when the full moon is out just so he can have some more interaction with harry? Bleh |
![]() ![]() ![]() Are there now multiple Main Characters? We've now had a few sessions of Draco and a few POVs from other characters that feel more slice of life than anything. |
![]() ![]() You wrote: “ Lupin," the gargoyle said. "Password?" "You're on first name terms with Dumbledore's gargoyle?"” ‘Lupin’ is NOT a first name. |
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![]() ![]() ![]() I really don't understand Why you have Matt And Remus putting up with greyback. If he's that horrible A person And he keeps turning people , Remus being a big giant pussy, is putting more people at risk. He's a wanted criminal , Tonks could have brought a gun with silver bullets And shot him , and then rubbed silver nitrate in the wounds . No more grayback And tonxie could have just aparated out |
![]() ![]() ![]() Well, holy damn. Good thing they didn’t start throwing unforgivable around… Which would have been understandable in their situation… |
![]() ![]() ![]() Very much enjoying this so far, and I love the little peeks into the Weasley lives. I hope Harry meets them soon! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Go Narcissa! I hope there’s more of her inner thoughts/conflict to come. She seems to have a high importance of family and torn up over what happened to jet’s, not wanting to repeat the same mistakes of the people before. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Certainly a lot of unexpected twists and turns. I will say that after surviving a war, and thinking that others had died, Both sirius and Marlena would have used spells more extreme than just incapacitating their opponents. Particularly when you are outnumbered, you cannot affor the luxury of allowing them to get back into the battle. Having faced Deatheaters before, and beleiving these were similarly supporters of Voldemort, they would have taken some out permanently. Also, since Remus was aware that the concern about what might be in Harry's scar had nothing to do with the supposed snake society, would he have not arranged to have Dumbledore talk with Sirius? How could he have so little concern for Harry's wellbeing? I did enjoy it though. |
![]() ![]() 11 chapters before the trial is complete? Filler. Rambling. Disconnected side trips from the actual plot. I skippedthru theladt 10 chaptersin a coupleof minutes. I'm giving up on this story. Can't wade through multiple sequels. |