|Reviews for Innocent|
| Guest chapter 37 . 9/20
Not taking out Grayback makes no sense, author. Especially since Lupin now knows Voldy might pop back in any time. Maybe it's true that this lot's already shitty life would be a lot worse off but he keeps biting more people, making more potential soldiers for Voldy and raising werekids to be future psychowolves.
Also how long has Malfoy been paying random people to wander the streets looking for Harry? Gotta be getting old at this point.
| Guest chapter 32 . 9/20
More bad parenting. It's a pattern.
| Westeller chapter 50 . 9/20
I'm not entirely sure why he had to go with the Malfoys, per se. The requisite isolation was Lucius' excuse, but there was no reason it had to be him that took Harry in. Sirius could just as easily have arranged for him to stay with *anyone* - Andromeda, maybe.
The ministry had no real leverage, either. They couldn't postpone the trial indefinitely, couldn't take Harry without his agreement. Of course, Sirius may not have known how much pressure Fudge was under, but still.
McKinnon is an absolutely hilarious choice, though.
| Shygirlj chapter 80 . 9/19
Fantastic story. Honestly, the adventure is so great it had me stressed to the max in the last few chapters. I’m all in for the next one.
| Guest chapter 14 . 9/19
This is siriusly terrible parenting.
| Guest chapter 13 . 9/19
We could use a faster pace, author.
| Guest chapter 1 . 9/19
Harry Potter's absurd caricature of a life with Dursleys ruins whatever drama anyone wishes to follow it up with, author. Just so you know.
| Kirkegaard chapter 80 . 9/19
I liked your story, thanks for writing it and looking forward to read the next part.
| MotherBear chapter 59 . 9/15
Wait… what? Sarah is a muggle, you said?….
“ Matt glanced over, looking puzzled and Remus shook his head. Matt went back to the card game he was playing with Greentooth – a twelve year old muggle girl who - in a fit of Dora-like stubbornness - refused to respond to Sarah”
So how did she get a Hogwarts letter?
| Encycoopedia chapter 26 . 9/9
| Hippothestrowl chapter 21 . 9/8
There are excellent, gripping scenes mixed with routine unnecessary ones that should have been pruned down or even disposed of completely. That would have raised the level of the entire story from merely excellent up to outstanding.
| Hippothestrowl chapter 20 . 9/8
Why do fic authors almost always use crazy, easily-guessable, fake names? Hadrian Porter? Evan Jameson? Theodora Tock? She's Malfoy's niece-in-law - the daughter of his wife's sister! Even if he has little to do with the Tonks family he cannot fail to forget their daughter's unforgettable name!
And why pretend to be a Muggleborn that Malfoy hates?
And why unnecessary lies? Ravenclaw? Everybody went to Hogwarts and a quarter of them went to Ravenclaw so the chances of someone she meets catching her out are high.
Is this a joke? A parody? Or is Moody testing Tonks to see how stupid she is?
| Hippothestrowl chapter 7 . 9/7
I mentioned in a previous review that the writing is so good that even routine is readable - but that was because it was relevant and new. Here, the author is causing the story to drag because the new and relevant is immersed in old dull routine. That would be great if this was an original story - but it ain't.
The routine was wonderful in Rowling's books because she was introducing us to the world of magic - but you can't keep repeating that. I've read thousands of Ollivander's shop scenes (written a few myself) so repeating the same stuff is weak. All stories are stronger and flow more swiftly when pruned down to the essentials that progress and are relevant to the plot.
I wish Sirius were smarter; he could have prepared a conversation to convey to Ollivander that Harry would be going to Hogwarts (even if they're not sure yet.) It's very likely someone will interview Ollivander later, and then they would know Harry is not only safe but free (or at least will be free in the future.) That would throw doubt on Sirius's guilt and maybe stifle the motivation of some of the searchers.
| Hippothestrowl chapter 4 . 9/6
Possibly the best writing I've come across in Potter fics here - professional level I'd say. How have I missed this one until now?
| Hippothestrowl chapter 2 . 9/6
Very good writing that keeps me absorbed in what is a relatively simply plot so far. Normally I'd skip what is fairly routine action, but here I'm immersed in every paragraph!