|Reviews for The Boy Who Wouldn't Grow Up|
| AudreytheAwkward chapter 3 . 11/6/2014
Oooohkay...I must admit that I'm crushed by the complete lack of Sherlock/Molly pairing. It's an opinion, but I felt it needed to be stated.
And nice heart melting with the gifting of the book! Wonderful emotional hook.
This was brilliant from beginning to end!
| AudreytheAwkward chapter 2 . 11/6/2014
I love that you used the word "innocent" as a description for the cup of coffee. Very nice! I think these emotions are hard to write out for a chapter like this, and you did very well imho.
Peter Pan! It's perfect! Gahhhh! Amazing!
| AudreytheAwkward chapter 1 . 11/6/2014
I like the continuation from the last story...cool unique. So I'd like to officially retract my criticism of your opening of Smoke and Mirrors. ;)
| Half fried egg roll chapter 1 . 10/29/2014
Hey Edhla! I'm back after quite a while, I know. But it's great to be reading your works.
I really like the first paragraph, especially the part: 'But for all the man's faults…not selfish with his belongings.' It gives us an insight into John's perception of Sherlock, and also gives us a hint as to what the story is about!
You manage to portray John's hesitation quite well. Especially while asking Sherlock's permission to borrow his books and how he 'gently' tugs out the 'Shackleton expedition'. However I feel the 'E' in expedition should be capitalized?
'But john like a child given unlimited privileges in a room full of toys, did not know where to start.' I really love this line too! Especially since it portray's John's childishness and points to his love for books. I would perhaps act the same way inside a manga store XD!
Enjoyed the detail in: 'He wiped a light layer of dust off the glossy, emerald-green cover with the heel of his hand.' This level of detail is a staple of all the works of your's that I have read. So it is expected.
'Sherlock turned again, then leapt up like a shot…plucking it out of John's hands.' It was a little surprising to me as to why John became so impulsive all of a sudden. Perhaps I was just as surprised as John? Also love that you mentioned, that John had managed to upset Sherlock previously, so perhaps picking out that book was not going to earn him any browny points, hehe.
This chapter although light-heared, did not really give me a sense that it was going anywhere. but the last line 'Dear Sherlock, with lots of love from Mummy x' Ohh man! Brilliant way to open things up there Ed! It stoked my interest in the next two chapters!
Thank you for yet another wonderful read!
| GeorgyannWayson chapter 3 . 8/28/2014
This was a really lovely conclusion to this short story, Eddy. Now everything has come fill circle :) heartwarming to say the very least. Thank you for writing this, it was truly wonderful *huggle*
| GeorgyannWayson chapter 2 . 8/19/2014
I said I would come back to this one day, and here I am!
I have honestly never read Peter Pan/The Boy Who Wouldn't Grow Up, but I have seen references to it and such, and it's interesting that this particular book is so special to Sherlock.
...oh, I didn't realize that this is picking back up after Reichenbach. My FEELS, EDDY! ;_; my poor little soldier; come here and let me huggle you! Everyone's world is literally in limbo- Harry, Mrs. Hudson, even Lestrade. Initially, I was like 'how the heck did he get the book without spooking Sherlock?' boooo...
[Grief John] I'm wondering if there is a comma missing here? There might not be, but I was initially confused as to what this was saying. I'm okay now, though :)
[Fear of a world] this entire section is pure poetry, dear. Particularly enjoyed the line [...fear of what it would be like when he woke up...].
[still sat innocent and still on the table] this line is a little awkwardly worded, but I think I get the gist of what you mean - that his coffee cup was stlll on the table, maybe untouched or something along those lines.
[...the smell of order and logic and sense and reason] if I could frame this line and put it on my wall, I would. Beautifully heartbreaking.
This ending...oh, my feels, Eddy. They so hurt...of course it was worth the pain, but now I must go hide away and recover ;) Wonderful continuation, love. See you around!
| GeorgyannWayson chapter 1 . 7/26/2014
Taking a small break from Four Little Bottles, hope you don't mind :)
How interesting that Sherlock is open with his belongings. I actually never thought about that as a part of his character, to be honest with you. I mean, don't get me wrong, he doesn't strike me as the horribly selfish type, but like I said, it's an interesting side of his character to explore. He's certainly open with using other people's stuff (John's laptop, for instance), so hey, why not make it go the other way? :)
Awesome that Sherlock collects books. We would get along great on that regard; my house is flooded with so many books, it's quite sad at times lol. And of course Sherlock is reading in Japanese because why not? He's Sherlock Holmes, and he can do that :)
[...luminous grey eyes.] - Beautiful description, but very very very small aside: aren't Sherlock's eyes blue? Though I suppose the lighting of the set could mess with this fact (and we've had a discussion or two about this, already, so just ignore me *waltzes away*).
[Norman Bates] What the, how does Sherlock not know about Norman Bates?! Then again, he's culture-selective/deprived, but come on! Norman Bates is only one of the most prolific serial killer characters in film history...
Oh, The Boy Who Wouldn't Grow Up is an untouchable book *oooo* poor John, it's like walking on eggshells with Sherlock sometimes; never knowing when you're going to see him off. But the inscription is certainly a clue: a gift from Mummy Holmes. You know I love seeing the Holmes parents in fanfiction, so you immediately have my interest and have it gripped tightly. Why did he get this particular book from Mummy? What could it possibly mean to him? What's the overall message here? Why am I asking all of these questions in a review?!
I shall be back around to see what happens next, my love. Thank you for writing this gem!
| SavvyMagic chapter 1 . 4/25/2014
Okay, Edhla, you have a nice story here. I am not familiar with the fandom, though I have heard of Sherlock. The idea is nice, and shows that John has an interest in books, and not very fond of libraries. I did not expect Sherlock to grab the book out of his hands like that. I liked that you let the reader infer as to why Sherlock took the book from John, by adding in the inscription that was written on the book. I inferred that the book was from Sherlock's past or childhood.
There is one thing that seemed off to me though. The sentence : "His gaze finally came to rest at the end book." It just seemed a little off to me, the wording. It didn't really flow right when I read the story.
Overall, I only think that that one sentence was a bit off putting for me, anyway I did like it somewhat. Continue to write your stories in this fandom, and do not let my opinion discourage you in anyway.
| jack63kids chapter 3 . 3/18/2014
Oh! Thank you - wasn't expecting that, but grateful - feels like a present to read that. I'm a little gutted for Mummy... but he so would do that. And I feel inspired to cut something out of life - food? husband? washing? sleep? - to spend more time with your fics! ;-D I'll let you know how that goes.
| jack63kids chapter 2 . 3/18/2014
This is so understated that it is more moving than a parcelful of eulogies. The part with the abandoned coffee is glorious - details, simplicity of the 'event' - all perfect. So glad I had the opportunity to reread chapter 1, but apologise for my usual tardy arrival at the party.
And so many parallels between the boys who don't grow up. I'd forgotten about the crowing.
| bkwrmnlvnit chapter 3 . 12/1/2013
Oh, I forgot to mention... the shade of pink that literally hurt his eyes. I had to laugh at that one. Poor Sherlock...XD
| bkwrmnlvnit chapter 3 . 12/1/2013
Oh, Sherlock, my awkward friend...
I love the way you made the point of him not bringing flowers partially because they didn't fit under his jacket. It seems so in character for him to be so awkwardly caring and yet mildly embarrassed so he's trying to sort of sneak in with something that's not big. It's just perfect for Sherlock, and something I can absolutely see him doing.
Gosh, Molly fixing the bed... Even that's in character. Making sure she's not leaving a mess...
The thought about how John would take his child home is entertaining and in character as well. I love how all of Sherlock's thoughts sound like things he'd say when you write them.
The fact that Mrs. Hudson had to tell Sherlock it's custom to give gifts is entertaining... I love how he's always so knowledgeable and brilliant about everything in regards to cases, but when it comes to anything regarding social norms, he's adorably clueless. Nice.
Aw, his awkwardness about Charlie and girls is cute... And how this is his apology to Molly, with something so important to him, that he passes off as nothing. And how he's trying to hide it from John, because John KNOWS it's not 'nothing', and how big a deal it is that Sherlock gave this.
Of course, making excuses for why he can't come... Sherlock...
It's just so in character for Sherlock to do something like this for his friend and not tell them. And even if he refuses to admit it or doesn't see it, it's really sweet. D'aww...
I am confused about one thing... Why is it 20_? I couldn't figure that out.
Anyways, BRILLIANT writing - I love it, I love it, I love it! Everything's perfect, and you hit all the characters and all the little details spot on again. Amazing work, Edhla. Thanks for posting,
| bkwrmnlvnit chapter 2 . 12/1/2013
Gah... The comparison of Sherlock to Peter Pan is killing me.
Okay, so first thing - I love the way you entered this story with the description of John's current physical and mental state. In just one sentence, you really got it out well, and created this powerful imagery that shows so well just how screwed up John is right now. The fact that he administered his own drugs wrong, and nobody else stopped him or could have done it right is also a nice (well, not really, but you know what I mean) detail to add. It just seems so likely, and it adds an extra punch to the fact that, here's John, this excellent military doctor, who is suddenly so messed up he can't even treat himself on something as simple as administering sedatives. (Then again, this could be an extremely complicated task, but I wouldn't know - I'm not a doctor. Either way, the imagery is effective.)
"How could there be a world without Sherlock Holmes in it?" The feels from this line...
Oh wow. I love this description of John not being sad, but afraid. It is just really well written and it really hits the reader (or this one, at least) with serious feels.
Aw, Sherlock's coffee... :(
The way you doubled the word 'yesterday' and italicized was really powerful in the writing style.
The smell of Sherlock's books is an interesting detail to add - I like how you always add multiple senses to your stories, so that way it's not just visual the whole time. The way you use order and sense and reason as contrast is also very effective.
And these last two lines are really an awesome sort of final gut-punch. I love the way you do this, how you give the image of Sherlock as a child this whole piece, and keep returning to that image, and then you kill it with this last line. To me, it really gives the idea of Sherlock being a child who wouldn't grow up, and that that was now happening because he COULDN'T grow up, because he was dead. It's just a killer image for me.
All in all, this is (Big shocker, once again) AMAZING. I love everything about it and all of the little details. Keep up the amazing work! Thank you for posting and bravo!
| Madam'zelleGiry chapter 3 . 11/20/2013
It's just so cute to imagine Molly making the bed like that... doubly cute to imagine the bewildered look on Sherlock's face as he tries to figure out why in the world she's preoccupied with this! I do think that it is very in character for Molly. She needs to regain a sense of normalcy in her life again, after having gone through giving birth! Little things like that make a biiiig difference. -nods-
'...thing were practical." Totally think it is practical! LOL having a doctor for a daddy!
"...literally hurt..." Bahahaha... But she looks so cute in it! Again, imagining the look on his face. Poor Uncle Sherlock!
"This one will." D'awwww! The sentiment of bringing the little one her first book was absolutely adorable. I love how it calls back to what we know about his past and his personal favorite books, and it really means a lot. I'd have loved to see this in Somerton, but when I actually think about it, I like having this better this way. It's more intimate than putting it in the big story, And I'll bet that little Charlie grows up to be quite a bookworm! She'll be a smart little thing!
Mentioning the Fall and all of that was a lovely touch here. Just that little mention obviously did mean a lot to Molly, and it's good to see a bit more closure with that entire ordeal.
And of course, Sherlock is never there for long. But that doesn't mean that his gift is any less appreciated! And the enscription definitely brought a smile to my face. That lucky little girl!
| bkwrmnlvnit chapter 1 . 11/18/2013
Okay, I just seen this one poking through RLt, and I had to give it a read... MY FREAKING FEELS.
Starting with this first chapter, again. CHARACTERISATION. How on Earth do you always get them so flawless? Your talking was flat out awesome here. I loved everything, from John's little headshake at Sherlock's lack of knowledge as to who Norman Bates is, to the general idea of how he was so interested in books. I like the attention you paid to his thought process too; about Afghanistan and beforehand, and just that whole deal in general.
Of course, you have Sherlock, not even caring what John takes... Mi casa is su casa, I guess, if I didn't just horribly maul the spelling of that. And the fact that he collects books... It's so... Sherlock.
And then you just have this lovely bit at the end with Sherlock insisting he's fine and not upset and yada yada right after just TOTALLY spazzing about John looking at his Peter Pan book. Again, so... Sherlock. He's just such a cute little high-functioning sociopath that I somehow manage to forget about moments like these that make me like him so FREAKING MUCH! GAH.
Then there's this bit where John was thinking about how he hasn't gotten down reading Sherlock yet and was shocked that Sherlock didn't kick him out already...AGAIN. MY FEELS. I think you just like taking them out of their cage and poking them to see how they react. It's just so perfect that you have this in there, the way Sherlock accepted John for all his problems right from the get-go and John did the same, and how he worried about being rude to Sherlock but Sherlock completely brushed it all off... It's just so... so... SO. There are no words for it.
And the inscription, why he didn't want John to take it... *melts into fangirl puddle* Poor Sherlock with his mystical and seemingly sad childhood... For him to get that book and still be so attached to it all this time later is a LEGENDARY breed of huge for him, and it's just so ADORABLE and Sherlock and GAH.
Thank you, for poking my feels again. No, really. Thanks. I loved this entire story, as per the usual. Your characterization and all the little details and the thought trains and just everything was spot on, dead on, and flat out perfect. LOVE IT!
Thank you for posting and please, KEEP IT UP!