|Reviews for Alpha, Not Beta|
| jam99chgo chapter 5 . 17h
Asuna ruins everything
| Massuser chapter 13 . 9/20
Good story. Keep writing. I am definitely liking the darker tare on SAO.
| Nox Melum chapter 13 . 5/14
You last updated in 2014, get a move on!
| pichu missionary chapter 13 . 3/22
I hope you intend to eventually continue this story. Its really good and you just stopped at a perfect story transition. I hope this reinstates your interest in this story because I really want to see how this goes.
| Funguy02 chapter 13 . 2/2
Awesome story very dark near the end
| ANIMEFORDAYSXD chapter 13 . 1/26
interesting cliffhanger... I wonder how Asuna would reply to that new kirito:P Well this story is well made and I hope to see a update soon!
| Daughter of Athena 20 chapter 3 . 1/22
| Guest chapter 9 . 1/17
Am I the only one who's been shipping kirito/violet the entire time? And kirito/Ashley, but I feel like they may be the same person.
| Ppsh chapter 3 . 12/31/2015
Alpha? Kirito is even more emo and socially retarded than he was in canon. And he constatly feels guilty, apologizes, and blushes like a girl when Asuna says something.
| Bright Man Akihiko chapter 10 . 12/10/2015
I feel like all of this is going by so fast. All of these chapters are so long, it's almost like reading a run-on sentence. Length isn't all that matters ("Not that way!" as Kirito might say), but knowing when to cut the chapter. It's great that you can write for so long, but at the end of the day, if you can't end the chapter at the right spot, then you're just detracting from the value of the story.
And then there's the deal with Sachi. I get this is AU, but the relationship between Kirito and Sachi should've been developed a little more. She's opening up too quickly to Kirito and now everything else between them feels awkward and weak.
Finally, on the level deal, isn't it obvious to the Black Cats by the end of the chapter that he's a front-liner? Thus, lying about only being level 26 doesn't make sense.
| Bright Man Akihiko chapter 9 . 12/9/2015
Dammit, Sachi was supposed to be the first love /3.
Whatever happened to the game not having magic?
| Bright Man Akihiko chapter 8 . 12/9/2015
I get that this is AU, but on the 75th floor boss, there were 14 deaths and that elicited quite the reaction. It's not even one of the quartiles yet and 24 deaths during a fight? Seems kind of excessive, considering death tolls on lower levels and loss of human resources from the main party.
| Bright Man Akihiko chapter 3 . 12/8/2015
Ugh, the interactions between Kirito and Asuna. It's too much.
Way overload. Everything is happening too fast. Too many time skips placed at sub-optimal places. Many more chapters to be created. And the way you're being so blunt about KiritoxAsuna without really confronting the psychological problems of each also makes the writing weaker.
| Bright Man Akihiko chapter 2 . 12/8/2015
Hmm... The boss scene wasn't executed very well. You have too much story for one chapter. This could've been two, maybe three chapters of similar length if you played the cards correctly. And there were some inconsistencies as well. Diabel said that a scouting group found the boss room just that day, but the meeting was set up weeks ago.
You also didn't really capture Kibaou's rage and character. Although it was comical to read, I feel like you can milk more out of the amount of plot you laid out. Same with the Diabel scene and pretext. A good place to cut the chapter would've been the three week break as well.
| Ciel Moony chapter 13 . 12/4/2015