|Reviews for The Contract|
| Data Seeker chapter 1 . 1/7
Your basic fic is silly, but in a good way.
Your characterization of Zuko, Mia, their parents and others were pretty too.
Some of the details and story structure need work.
The wholesome standards are high.
The language is clean.
Nothing is suggestively offensive- and you handled certain references very well. THANK YOU.
No extreme violence or any other vile content.
I hope this review brightens your day. God bless
| DarkKing009 chapter 1 . 5/11/2015
| AnnabethLuna chapter 1 . 4/8/2015
This is actually hilarious. So many twists and so much delightful sarcasm. My life is better for reading it.
| Animekitty47 chapter 1 . 5/8/2014
Awesome parody. Such a good parody, that it almost could have happened that way. Almost. XD
| Writingathing chapter 1 . 9/22/2013
Best closing sentence ever. Sums up their relationship perfectly.
| Whitetree-Nimloth chapter 1 . 7/29/2013
This is hilarious, and the end really sweet. I loved it.
| Fireborn101 chapter 1 . 7/18/2013
This was great XD
| Kimberly T chapter 1 . 7/16/2013
Oh. My. Gawd.
I now have this image of a marriage negotiator (or whatever the term was for someone who primarily oversaw the creation of marriage contracts and all the traditions associated with them) reading the royal family's message about what they wanted included in the contract, setting the paper down carefully on the desk, and then grabbing and chugging strong sake straight out of the bottle.
/"Are you happy?"
"Did your mother tell you say 'yes' to all my questions?"
"Do you hate my son?"
"Y- no fair."
Ursa chuckled. "Sorry, easy target."/
You write the Best. Ursa. Ever. So many fics have her being The Madonna, so perfect and saintly that she probably doesn't even sweat (unless the plot demands sweating), but in this one, she's utterly human!
| Private Fire chapter 1 . 7/13/2013
I AM SMILING LIKE AN IDIOT!
I absolutely L-O-V-E this story. The characters are well done. The storyline itself and the humor! Oh the humor! I love the addition of Lady Rei. I love how you poke fun at the comics. Zuko and Mai are perfect in this. I love how you handled Ursa. How beautiful!
I will tune down my gushing now to say that this is your best story ever! I love Retroactive and your Maiko stories, but this one is the best for the humor and the Maiko arc.
| Julia451 chapter 1 . 7/12/2013
The 3 funniest parts were the cute little exchange between Mai and Ursa in the third section, and: "Child, say that you'd like to marry Prince Zuko."
"That I'd like to marry Prince Zuko?"
And: "Indeed, tea this good couldn't be found anywhere else. Surely it was worth it."
I really like the idea of Mai's snobby mother looking down on Ursa for her peasant heritage. The line "She stomped up the stairs to her room, and resolved to spend the rest of the day testing to see which would wear out first, her knives or the woodwork on her bedroom walls" is really gret, too.
The ending section is just wonderful! Every word there, perfect! I truly just love it! Good story, EXCELLENT last section!
| Aurelia le chapter 1 . 7/11/2013
This was so cute, and smartly humorous. I've also thought it likely Zuko and Mai were betrothed as children, or the possibility was considered or at least pursued by Mai's parents, considering the society they lived in and historic parallels.
But the way you looked at it here was very original, highlighting a connection between two characters I hadn't considered to be all that similar - but it's true, for different reasons, that Mai and Ursa might both have an outsider's view on a lot of the absurdities that Fire Nation nobility would take for granted. This is the first time I've enjoyed an author incorporating aspects of Ursa's past from The Search, and that's saying something, considering I'd usually rather forget the comics even exist.
Their narrative voices were distinctive and enjoyable, and I especially liked the "PG" way you alluded to some (actually several ;) adult concepts. This was reminiscent of the cartoon's tendency toward Getting Crap Under the Radar, and a source of welcome nostalgia to me. And a kept certain lightness about the piece that only lent to the humor.
Particular favorite moments were Mai telling Ursa about her "target practice" and Ursa's reaction. (She seemed to think she had another Azula on her hands with Mai, but it was interesting how quickly she relaxed when Zuko expressed approval - indicative of her blind spot where her favorite child was concerned?)
And Ozai betrothing Mai to Azula instead because he didn't want give up her "dowry", Ty Lee crying because she felt left out of the BFF betrothal were both hilarious. That the revised contract came up again and wasn't just a one-off joke just made it better.
See, this is why I follow you. From satire to more serious, in-depth pieces like Retroactive, you really know how to make the characters shine. Thanks for sharing!
Just one mistake I noticed, BTW: "talked silently through the halls" should be "walked". You also have the word "scarified" in there, which I thought was supposed to be "sacrifice(s/d)" when I first read it. But considering the narrative voice, this may be a reference to Zuko's scarring. Maybe I'm just overthinking it, but in case not...
| WolfishMoon chapter 1 . 7/11/2013
That was hilarious.
Now I'm going to go reread that.
| Willowdove chapter 1 . 7/11/2013
I am thoroughly amused.
| J. Metropolis chapter 1 . 7/10/2013
I love your writing. Even your unlikeable characters like Mai's pushy mom are fun to read. And you have a gift for comedy "arrived to make her a proposal she literally couldn't refuse" - har, har. There are so many of these funny lines in here. When Mai was relaying her hilarious story about how she plays with her dollies to a horrified Ursa, I couldn't help but picture her as Wednesday Aadams. I really enjoyed this fic. Oh and "kissing," yup got it riiight, *winks*