|Reviews for Where I Belong|
| Guest chapter 1 . 12/3/2013
can you plez right more
| Windpheonix chapter 1 . 11/26/2013
HI there, always nice to see another story of yours showing up. (Sorry for not reviewing earlier, I am trying to beat the bad habit of not leaving comments.)
Intriguing story you set up once again, I am curious to find out how it will continue.
Just a few things, if I may:
Your scenes sometimes seem a little rushed. Please, we are waiting patiently for your updates, take your time! It is your story. Try to expand a little, give us an idea of the surroundings, how the characters feel.
E.g. Why is Sophia afraid of the basement? Will it be explained later, as it is about something that has happened and you will show it in a flashback? Then give us a hint.
Is she free-spirited and hates being locked in? Please, show us, it expands her character and makes us readers relate to her.
Also, the man that appeared, who is he? Where did he come from? Will he have a role later, he could be the children- hating janitor, cook Ms Stock's Husband ect. having him appear just like that is a bit confusing.
(Also, the basement for speaking out of line is a bit over the top. I understand you needed a moment for Sophia to meet Alpha Trion, but if Sophia or one of her friends told someone, this orphanage would be so quickly closed down it would make Ms. Stock's head spin.
How about you go for something like making her clean, eg. clean the bathroom before sleeping. That would give Sophia time alone and be a bit more believable.
Also, if I might add, a character that openly pushes a child around is beyond infuriating, but personally, I find characters who are more sly about it more frightening. For example, Ms. Stock acting as if she hadn't heard Sophia at first, acting all sweet, and then turning around to reveal how evil she is once more.)
To describing, sorry I am going to stick with this scene.
Please, try to allow the readers to get into Sophia's mind a little.
When the men grabbed her, describe her struggle, how the men is taller and stronger than her, show us how she struggles, but to no avail.
And the basement, it is a good scene but it lacks a bit description.
Was there light? Children are usually afraid of the darkness. Try it having a naked light bulb, dusty cobwebs in empty bookshelves, a hard cement floor, which scrapes her skin when she lands etc. try to set the mood a little.
I hope this wasn't too much, I am going to continue reading now, looking forward to your next chapter!
P.S.: Please excuse any spelling/grammar mistakes, in difference to you, I struggle a bit in that department!
| Guest chapter 5 . 9/19/2013
omg wow awesome
| zombie aftkicker chapter 5 . 8/29/2013
continue continue continue continue *many continues later* continue continue continue *deep breath* cooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnttttttttiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnu uuuuuuueeeeeeeeeee
| TheGhost129 chapter 5 . 8/27/2013
:0 Holy sizzle! Sides and Acree are boyfriend and girlfriend? Didn't see that coming.
| TheGhost129 chapter 4 . 7/31/2013
| PoetofMercury chapter 4 . 7/31/2013
Great chapter. Keep it coming. :-)
| horse girl 96 chapter 3 . 7/31/2013
Very good story I really liked it good job and I think
. Optimus could be a guardian for Sophia
| Mistra Rose chapter 4 . 7/30/2013
Your last chapter had a few spelling errors and some parts didn't make since but other then that it was a good. Keep up the work and I vote for Arcee to be her guardian since she needs a female around. Besides Arcee needs some love.
| NobleSilverShadow chapter 4 . 7/30/2013
I think that her guardian should be optimus if he is going to be her new adopted father is would only be logical that he be her guardian because he is very protective of her!
| StarLight837 chapter 4 . 7/30/2013
Hey. I don't have my computer so I can't access the full sight, but I will check when I get on. I looked right after the last chapter to do it but didn't see anything. But I'll check again. 8D
| PoetofMercury chapter 3 . 7/28/2013
Interesting chapter so far. I'm voting on wither Jazz or Optimus for her guardian.
| Ashley cuadra chapter 3 . 7/25/2013
Really good story hope Sophia is ok and Optimus adoptes and is her guardian and probably a mother like Arcee
| Mistra Rose chapter 2 . 7/19/2013
Maybe have Lennox's daughter take to Sophia. The four of them with Ironhide go to the store to get cloths and supplies for Sophia, when someone, not a con, tries to take the little girl from the store. Sophia stops it from happening and gets hurt even worst, because he shots her so she can't id him.
| Guest chapter 2 . 7/15/2013
Yay! ... She has a new family... E-yeah!