|Reviews for Pokemon X and Y: Xavier's 'Kolourful' Kalos Adventure|
| tom chapter 8 . 12/18/2013
rly good keep it up:)
| MaliciousGravy chapter 8 . 10/18/2013
I got X as well. Nicely written, but I felt it could've been longer. Then again, just look at the length of other stories and you'd get my point.
| OtakuAnimeLover21 chapter 8 . 10/18/2013
well i def want pokemon x.
| Puttylol chapter 7 . 9/18/2013
Haha! I love the Oct 12 bit you threw in there.
Just a question, but what's up with X-Meister? Is it a reference to something?
And what a fun battle! Yay Yvonne!
| Puttylol chapter 6 . 9/18/2013
Sorry for not reviewing earlier. Schools been a hassle -.-
But great chapter! Yay Pancham!
sorry about the shortness; I'm just not in the mood to type a lot D:
| MaliciousGravy chapter 6 . 9/7/2013
Don't worry if you're confused! The fact that you ARE writing an X and Y story is really goood!
| Puttylol chapter 5 . 8/14/2013
Fuzzy furry... xD Alright Xavier. You call it whatever you want.
Oh my gosh, I'm loving the personalities you gave each of these characters! Shauna having a crush of the professor? Haha! You can totally tell that she's just a teenage girl there.
Looks like I guessed wrong about which starters they were going to get! I also like how you gave each of the Pokemon personality. Most fics just make the Pokemon beings that follow their trainer's ever commands, and that's it. but you gave them spunk!
Spunk if a funny word
Update soon! i'm curious to se how Xavier will get along with his new Pancham. Especially seeing how it kicked him earlier xD
| OtakuAnimeLover21 chapter 5 . 8/11/2013
Lucario is my favorite. I love lucarios.
| Puttylol chapter 4 . 7/22/2013
Hmm... Jeremy is... pretty sketchy! IMMA ON TO YA! Seriously, I wonder if he tried to hook up with Xavier's mom? O.o
Xavier found a Pancham at the end! I'm betting that's his starter. For the starters of his friends... I suppose Tierno will end up with Chespin since that thing looks like it could break out a couple moves. For Trevor and Shauna.. I'm guessing that Trevor might get Fennekin and Shauna will get Froakie.
Btw, are you thinking of adding Yvonne/ Serena/ whatever her name is? Well I suppose it will be a bit hard, since there's not much info on your neighbor/rival person. Also, I love the color theme you're going with your chapter names :D
| Shameful Metaphors chapter 4 . 7/22/2013
A bit of a cliffhanger, neh? XD
Nothing really went wrong here some (you're right) there wasn't much substance until the end.
"Mk," she smiled. Might wanna fix that unless it's some sort of abbreviation that I never heard of.
Hope to find out what happens next.
As for the question: Shauna and Fenniken, Tierno and Froake, and Trevor and Chespin.
| Azulira chapter 4 . 7/21/2013
Shauna will likely get Froakie, Tierno Fennekin, and Trevor will get Chespin. Most likely
| Geekachu chapter 1 . 7/21/2013
Going into this fic, I wasn't too sure about how much I would enjoy it. The idea of someone writing a story set in a region nobody knows much about made me a tad bit leery.
But what do you know, I actually liked it! Xavier seems like quite the character already. The way he overreacts to things is amusing. xD
I'm not entirely sure about this Shauna character - when fanfic writers make such eccentric characters, they tend to make them a bit 'too much' - but I'll keep an open mind. So far, she seems quite likable, and I hope she'll stay that way.
The grammar's a little rough around the edges. You've forgotten to add a few question marks where they were needed. I'll show you an example:
["WHAT?!" I screamed. Did the company know I was fourteen.]
As you can see, you need to put a question mark after 'fourteen'. Funny line, though.
There are a few other places where you missed them as well. I suggest suggest proof-reading a little more carefully when you're checking over your work. Same goes for missing and/or misplaced commas, the occasional misspelling of a word, and just typos in general. I'm guessing you just proof-read too quickly. Slow down a bit, and you'll be fine.
A more consistent grammar mishap I noticed is your usage of the word 'mom'. You're forgetting to capitalize it in certain places. Remember that if 'Mom' is being used a name, it is capitalized as such. Otherwise, just keep it all lowercase, as you were doing in all instances. Just to be sure I'm making sense, here's an example I just made up:
[Hey Mom, meet Bob. Bob, this is my mom.]
Dumbest example in history, but oh well.
There are a few dialogue mistakes. Here are two I noticed:
["Sorry mom," I sighed, leaning myself across the plane aisle to pat her on the back.] You can't really SIGH words, can you? :\
["Yeah," smiled Shauna, "I best be getting home."] You definitely can't SMILE words. xD Also, if you want to be completely correct, the "I" should be replaced with either "I'd" or "I had". Seeing as this is dialogue, though, and people often make grammar mistakes when speaking, you could just leave it as it is. :)
Just one more grammar nitpick, I promise!
"You're" "You are". "Your" always refers to possession. Example:
[Wait, YOU'RE Bob! I met YOUR mom at the bookstore. YOU'RE new here, right?]
Again with the goofy examples. . . . Anyway, I think you get my drift. Replace YOUR occasional "your" with "you're", and YOU'RE good to go! :D
Sorry for the ultra-long grammar tirade. In my defense (or maybe yours), the grammar was the only real "problem" I had with this chapter.
Anyway, interesting story. Keep it up!
| Puttylol chapter 3 . 7/17/2013
Haha I loved the last couple of lines! The get away thing was funny. And epic battle! I actually kinda hope a guy like Sir Drago is in the game.
Well, update soon if you can! I'm guessing it's kind of hard to write this because of the limited amount of information right now about the games.
| Puttylol chapter 2 . 7/15/2013
Ooh Shauna's dad... WHAT YOU HAVE AGAINST XAVIER? Not giving him any sprinkles JEEZ xD
Trevor is a smartie o.o I wonder if one of his dreams is to be a professor.
Who lit Sir Drago the plant on fire? o.o WE HAVE SOMEONE WITH PYROMANIA ON THE LOOSE! Hold on.. I have a good idea of who it is. Team Flare maybe? UPDATE SOON ! I'm curious of who done it xD
| Puttylol chapter 1 . 7/15/2013
When I first saw this in my inbox, I was like, "WHOA! A fic about it already?"But wow, this is AWESOME! I like the back story of Xavier coming into Kalos. LOL he was about to get babysitted by a same aged person xD
You wrote this on an iPad? OH MAH GAWD IT'S SO HARD TO EDIT OR WRITE ANYTHING ON THAT THING FOR ME! Sure there's a couple of mistakes here and there, but I would have WAYYYYY more if I wrote my things on a iPad. I applaud you lol.
Well I'm glad to see you back! This seems like a really fun fanfic, so I'll be happily reading it :D