|Reviews for Harper Potts, the Girl Who Died (Hogwarts Year 1)|
| rhylith chapter 48 . 9/22
Loved the story, well-done characterizations, and fantastic set of cause-and-effect repercussions for poor Harper Potts, the only issue I had was with the life-debt nonsense.
If any life-debt sort of magic was wandering around enforcing such a thing or even if it's more social/political than medi-wizards would be the most powerful political block. After all, they save untold numbers of people's lives. If it was magically enforced then becoming a medical wizard would probably be the path-to-power, a non-moral "healer" could go around and "save" people and effectively enslave them via a life-debt. For more social/political enforcement, it wouldn't be too hard to arrange "accidents" or near-lethal muggings only to then save a person to force a life-debt which would be valid in the eyes of society.
Of course, Life-debts, Blood-bonds, Magic-Oaths, Magical binding contracts, Veela attraction nonsense are all just used as a poor and unimaginative excuse to get incompatible people together.
It was quite jarring to see something so flimsy stuck in the middle of such a well written and thoughtful story. I almost abandoned the story on the spot but I was happily surprised when that awkward and forced shipping seemed to take a backseat to the story.
I hope that you will continue this someday.
| Spica75 chapter 48 . 8/7
Good story, needs to be continued!
Dont overthink the issues you have with it, because from the readers point of view i would say those dont really exist. Selfcritique is good, but not if you allow it to rule you.
You write that the story is too focused on "ships", something that i can barely notice, and of course, just because theyre 11(and Hermione 12), that just means theyre inexperienced and uncertain, not unable to feel interest, affection or love, some start "flirting" early, others late, 11 is nothing odd there, especially when Harper is really much older and Hermione is really 12, and if Daphne is born in Autumn or Winter, shes also 12.
About trouble with OCs, well, take a fictional universe, pick a person from it whose style and manners you think might suit and then adapt him/her to the Potterverse. Thats an easy way to create OCs because you already have a basic pattern how they look and act.
And while the basic idea may be cliche, the story you have made out of it most certainly is not. Its also one of the stories i can count on the fingers of one hand and still have spares where "HP" goes Slytherin without the story becoming rubbish one way or another.
I also have to say that overall, you are far too critical of your own writing, because the flaws you note on your author page, im not seeing them.
You have a style of writing and it is among the better ones i have seen on this site, theres no need to change it, just keep polishing it with more writing and there is no issue with it.
And always remember, finishing a good or even just decent story is infinitely better than not finishing a perfect story.
Ill also be waiting for more updates for "bug in the game"...
| Spica75 chapter 29 . 8/6
"boys dont cry, girls do"? Thats a really awful cliche that doesnt have anything to do with reality.
And you know what vikings wrote about it? Just to pick a cultural opposite. That a man who cannot cry is no real man.
Modern popular culture is really stupidly messed up in so many ways...
| Difdi chapter 37 . 8/4
I can think of a way to convince Theo's father to back the project. The man is a pureblood wizard supremacist. There mere IDEA that muggles can do something that wizards cannot would be anathema to him.
Pitch the moon landing to him as a proof of concept, but tell him Theo plans to outdo the muggles, proving wozard superiority - even if the muggles never find out.
| Difdi chapter 34 . 8/4
Sparkling cider does fizz like champagne, but it's noticeably the wrong color to actually be champagne. If you want a better match, mix fifty/fifty sparkling cider and ginger ale. A little higher proportione ginger ale for lighter, less for darker. You can make a perfect cheater drink with a little practice.
| Neko-Mitsuko chapter 48 . 7/27
This story is awesome I've enjoyed the liberties you've taken regarding canon events forming this lovely AU Potterverse and will be awaiting the next installment to this story. Did I mention it's awesome? I'm most certainly of the belief that the story's awesome-ness should have more than one mention.
| Neko-Mitsuko chapter 42 . 7/27
You bet'cha AU in Harry's first year Tonks would have been in her final year at Hogwarts X'D this story is to good so for the most part that's overlooked by me.
| user51s2r chapter 48 . 7/24
I really enjoyed this story. I think the characterizations, plots, and scenes were well meshed and executed. The author's writing style was very easy on the mind. If you had a beta, then please pass on my thanks for a job well done.
thank you for writing and sharing this story!
| Wrin chapter 48 . 6/17
This was fun. I hope you come back to it some day. If you do, you might want to explore Harry's possible metamorph talents for the gender-switch. He's got Black blood and regrew his hair over night, which is usually attributed to accidental magic. Some would argue that he also healed himself during his childhood, which is also magic centered on his own body. Anyway, thanks for writing this. Like I said, I enjoyed it.
| Guest chapter 1 . 4/9
What happened to companion story to Co-op mode?
Did it offend the mods with the PHO interlude?
| war hippy fatigues chapter 1 . 4/8
Now here's a much more interesting take on the plot of the young female Harry Potter taking the world by storm.
There were some parts of the story that had me scratching my head. Such as the idea that the Dursleys treating Harry much more harshly then they did in the books was more realistic then the severe abuse presented here. Recall that the while the book Dursleys never treated Harry like their son and made him live in a cupboard, they didn't actually beat him or starve him (and I mean actually starve him, not make him miss a meal once in a while. Many people would call the latter being grounded). Familial relationships similar to this exist in real life. What is unrealistic about that?
Another is the whole life debt thing. The whole custom around it (and the idea that the entire wizarding world would follow it) seems rather forced and out of place. Some manner of archaic customs among the pureblood elite makes a degree of sense but I wasn't buying this thing, especially the idea that magic also follows this custom. When Dumbledore was taking about Peter owing Harry a life debt I really don't think he meant it like that.
Also some parts struck me as being overly hard on Dumbledore in general. People always seem to complain that he never saved Sirius, but you have to ask yourself if he had the legal authority to force a trial for him. Does being the head of the Wizengamot give you the power to override the Minister of Magic's authority in this manner? The books suggest not, as Dumbledore doesn't have the power to overturn Harry's trial in book 5 over the matter of the patronus charm. Also, Dumbledore's insistence on not taking Harry away from the Dursleys only looks as bad as it does here because you made the Dursleys much worse without simultaneously changing Dumbledore's attitude on it. The Dursleys were indeed a terrible family for Harry in the books but I don't think the safety the blood magic (nobody calls it wards) provided is something that should be completely overlooked. Imagine if they had moved the infant Harry to some other wizard's place and Bellatrix had got her hands on him.
Still I liked the story enough to read it all the way through. There's an appropriate mix of mystery and tension there.
| epain chapter 48 . 4/7
This is an interesting story. Please continue writing.
| Kateri87 chapter 48 . 4/1
I can't wait for the next chapter! How often do you update?
| Serpentine13 chapter 38 . 3/28
Wooo! Snake familiar!
| Serpentine13 chapter 15 . 3/28
I really hope Harper gets a snake familiar... I'm so biased, it's almost painful.