|Reviews for Five Times Neal Fell Asleep in Peter's Car|
| Guest chapter 1 . 4/1
Wow! So funny and cute.. Loved it
| weiwei.cheng.98 chapter 1 . 10/5/2014
I love this story so much. It fantastic! I'd like to translate Five Times Neal Fell Asleep in Peter's Car into Chinese if that's OK with you. I'll credit you fully and post the translation .com (registration-required). Thank you so much!
| GlOmP3R chapter 1 . 9/7/2014
Ahaha, loved this ! Kickass job
| SupernaturalGeek chapter 1 . 5/6/2014
I genuinely can't decide which one of those I like best, although it has to be said the last two really stand out.
You did a fantastic job capturing Neal and Peter, both their voices/mannerisms and the wonderful bond between them. There was a lovely undercurrent of affection to each encounter yet it never became too much or took them out of character, and it was intertwined with their customary amusing banter just as it is onscreen.
Even though I knew Neal was unlikely to die it was still incredibly tense reading the one where he was bleeding all over Peter's car and - again - you brilliantly emphasised how much Peter really does care about Neal without making him too emotional or sentimental. As sorry as I was feeling for Neal I was equally sorry for Peter; it was crystal clear just how distraught he was with the situation and how desperate not to lose Neal. I loved the little touch too with Neal being surprised by just how much Peter cares, it's a sweet reminder he is not nearly as secure when it comes to personal stuff as he might seem to the casual viewer. Finally it was good to see them able to (almost) joke about the whole thing in the final one, although I also loved that it's obviously still a bit too close to home for Peter to be truly comfortable recalling it.
I had dozens of lines throughout which I wanted to quote but I'm choosing these as my favourite in the end because they just hit Neal and Peter on the head and sum up their friendship/partnership completely;
"Hang on - you do have a driver's licence, right?"
Neal grins. "I have three!"
Opening the door, Peter groans. "I didn't want to know that, Caffrey."
"Shouldn't have asked then."
I really did thoroughly enjoy this :)
| Alex chapter 1 . 2/9/2014
great story, lots of fun and the jokes were spot on.
| Shellie chapter 1 . 1/2/2014
Delightful read. Good scenes that should be in actual episodes.
| Deep Sorrow chapter 1 . 12/2/2013
This is a great set of stories, thanks for sharing!
| Guest chapter 1 . 9/11/2013
This made my bad day just a little better. :)
| Ruahnna chapter 1 . 9/3/2013
Nicely done. Sweet without being sugary. I liked the story being told mainly through dialogue, and the way the work details are mentioned mostly in passing, keeping the focus on the characters.
| mngrue chapter 1 . 8/19/2013
I enjoyed this one quite a bit :) Your writing and Faye's beta-ing came together well.
| sherlockdrinkstea chapter 1 . 7/27/2013
Awwww really enjoyed this - it was cute and funny and tense and just plain adorable! Very well written, though I think I would have preferred it if it was written in the past tense as opposed to the present. But apart from that, great story that made me smile! :D
| FlutteringLights chapter 1 . 7/25/2013
This is precious and I loved it. Thanks for writing and sharing! :D
| Slipstream77 chapter 1 . 7/23/2013
Thank you for sharing this wonderful, heart-warming, gripping story! I kind of try to avoid reading when I'm in the middle of writing a story myself, but I saw this and couldn't help myself. It is fantastic. I felt like I was right there, watching them. It felt so real, so much in character, so much like what we'd see on the show.
Love the use of the present tense (I tried that once but it didn't work nearly as well as you employed it here).
Love the image of Neal snuggled up in Satchmo's blanket.
Love all of the banter-one of my favorite things about the show. You've done a great job with that.
Love Peter's fear for Neal and the instinctive protectiveness he shows all throughout.
Especially loved this:
""Sorry, sorry," Peter says, cringing. "I'm so sorry, Neal..." And it's not his driving he's apologizing for anymore. He's apologizing for being late. He's apologizing for not busting down the door before shots were fired. He's apologizing for sending Neal in with armed jewel thieves, knowing there was a risk. He's apologizing for the fact that Neal has a bullet in him and is bleeding out all over the inside of Peter's car, and it's his fault."
Very evocative and realistic.
I love your prose; hope to see more of it soon! Thanks for this lovely story.
| BlueDiamondStar chapter 1 . 7/21/2013
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/21/2013
Thanks for writing!