Reviews for Heartless
Dino-Rogue chapter 6 . 5/16/2014
You probably have the best ending for dear Yamcha here. He's not a loser and he's certainly too taken for granted and forgotten. Not anymore! This is the perfect ending for him: A brand new start, a brighter beginning! Good thing Pu'ar's there for him, the bestest friend! Aww, so cute and such a sweetie...

Haha! Figures his manager would mention Hercule; gosh, if he only knew, he would not say that Yamcha should just leave the fighting to him. Haha! Love this one! Not much romance? Hmmm, I'd better check your profile to see just what you've got, then. I love romance, but I do have a feeling you've got other good stuff.
Dino-Rogue chapter 5 . 5/16/2014
Oh, that's right. If you look at it, both of them did lose many things... or people, didn't they? After Cell, it all faded away... gone. But no more. They did not lose one another.

I love, love this!
Dino-Rogue chapter 4 . 5/16/2014
Oh, I am seriously loving this! A gap-filler with no stalling, straight to the point. But somewhat AU-ish, right? For here, Krillin and the others found out, whereas in the show, they only found out after the three years of training. Regardless, nice chappie, great job!
Dino-Rogue chapter 3 . 5/16/2014
Hahaha! What, pepper spray? Roshi's hopeless...

...And after all of Gohan's studying, 'the talk' came late? Haha! Wow, Chi-Chi knows what to teach and what not to teach. Scared mom... well, no escaping that now.

See? One can write an even greater fic like this; no bashing. Awesome! Sweet job. Poor Yamcha... the bitterness when he told the others in the series that he was not the father was so palpable.
Dino-Rogue chapter 2 . 5/16/2014
*Gasp* And she got pregnant, he left for space because Bulma and Yamcha got back... ah! Now we know! Oh my gosh, you have given me something to think about; kinda like a new perspective! Nice job!
Guest chapter 3 . 6/2/2013
I can't read "not the father" in any voice other than Maury Povich's.
Breezybiatch chapter 6 . 1/1/2013
But vegeta didn't forgive her and take her back on the spot r
rindualam chapter 6 . 1/23/2009
i feel sorry for yamcha.. nice job, i love how you picture the heartbreak, ..
Samuraiko chapter 6 . 2/2/2006
An interesting take on how Bulma and Vegeta get together, and kudos for the scenes in the waiting room - you absolutely nailed all of the characters (including Roshi with pepper spray! Why didn't *I* think of that?)!

Not your usual mush, which is why I like it. Nice one! On to the next story...

Michelle

aka

Samuraiko
Garowyn chapter 6 . 2/10/2005
Good work. Very depressing and somewhat suspenseful.
funny-feijoa chapter 6 . 6/21/2003
I'm suprised there aren't many reviews for this fic...one of the best i've read! (..yet of course fics with more reviews doesn't mean its good. )WELL DONE it was fantastic. I liked how it showed Yamcha's view as well, some y/b/v do tend to leave out yamcha or give him a good bash.

I want to commend you on how it kept in the DBZ story line.

i fully agree, some AU DBZ fics are just using the characters names and completly turning them ooc...just weird _

I think you've got the knack for b/v 'romances' (not really a romance don't you think? it evolves to so much more _*), not into the porno (yeh!), not fluffy/mush fics. A very convincing and substantial take on b/v relationship (how it's suppose to be personally)

I hope you'ld might write something like this in the beginning of buu saga *looks hopefully at unromantic poetess* -if you had the time, just your take on b/v relationship. well, anyway, just best wishes to your fanfic writing, its really hard to find good fics thats more into the relationships/character development then the porno/mush. Thanks.

ps, liked your essay too. agree with everything, but just a technical questions, doesn't essays have to have formal language (ie no isn't, doen't colloquial stuff etc..)? ~*
Darke Angelus chapter 6 . 5/17/2003
I wish that you would have paced this story out and made it into the potentially involved tale that it could have been. It was well-done but much too rushed, which is a shame. I sense that you just wanted to get your interpretion of a V/B get-together 'off your chest' and move on to your other wonderful stories. Yamcha's character was refreshingly vulnerable and believable. Great effort!
Leia chapter 6 . 2/5/2003
Good girl ... I like this ending much better than the last one ... it fits more, and like you said, it doesn't forget Yamucha. After all, the story really is about him ... or so I think, anyway.

Yes, Yamucha. You can start over.

MUCH more poignant ending - it rounds everything up so nicely, and it completes everyone's characters. It resolves the argument between Kuririn and Yamucha (and subtly answers Yamucha's "get a date" barb), as well as changes Yamucha's attitude toward Bejiita.

Excellent work. Despite the angsty premise, you still managed to end it with a thread of hope. I know I've used the word before, but I have to again: masterful.

Poetess, indeed. A name was never more well deserved ...

~Leia
Leia chapter 5 . 2/5/2003
In all honesty, I didn't like this chapter nearly as much as the rest of them. Buruma's musing at the middle of the chapter was the best part, but I wasn't as fond of the rest. I thought the resolution came too quickly, especially after the mind-blowing angst of the last chapter.

However.

Ending the chapter the way you did, not even finishing the conversation, was a good way to avoid sentimentality, which you did. I congratulate you on that.

~Leia
Leia chapter 4 . 2/5/2003
(Oh, for heaven's sake, the site keeps logging me out every time I want to review ...)

~*~*~*~

At the feel of Goku's comforting hand on her shoulder, Bulma broke down. And she cried her heart out.

~*~*~*~

Well, I'm very glad that you made me pity Buruma, as I had little respect for her at the moment. Perhaps I am too harsh on her ... but you managed to make me feel for her. Good for you ... I really did feel sharp sympathy for her. At least she realizes her mistake and regrets it - I'm so glad you put that in! You instantly avoided cheapening her character by doing so.

~*~*~*~

Krillen uneasily edged toward his grieving friend. This was perhaps harder than seeing Bulma. Bulma at least had the child. Yamcha had nothing.

"What do you want, Krillen?"

Krillen gulped. He wasn't good with confrontations. They often led him to do or say something stupid, and make things worse. But this had to be done.

"Yamcha, I know this is hard . . ."

"You don't know, Krillen. I was ready. I had the ring bought and everything. I planned it for when she got out of the hospital. And now to find out - I should have known. But I loved her."

"You can still love her. She needs you now more than ever. And she does love you."

"OK, Krillen, why don't you get a date and then you can give me advice." Yamcha's tone was bitter and sarcastic, and it stung Krillen to the core.

"Yamcha, don't take your anger out on me. I'm just a friend trying to help."

Yamcha turned his back. "Do me a favor and don't help."

With one last glare, Krillen left his bitter friend alone.

~*~*~*~

Perhaps I didn't need to quote the entire conversation, but I felt it was necessary, because it rang so true. This scene, small as it was, might very well be the most true-to-life conversation in the entire story. I felt for both Kuririn and Yamucha, and understood why they said everything they did. Poor Kuririn ... and poor Yamucha.

Well done ...

~Leia
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