Reviews for If One Thing is True
Brandonrocs chapter 1 . 6/7/2014
Oh my Glob, suspense. One of the best writing techniques, if you can get it right. Which you have. You NEED to continue this.
DeathGoblin chapter 4 . 12/7/2013
You did a good job making Hypno a credible threat, even without its pendulum. It reminded me of a something called hypno's lullaby. I liked the ending of Mo's dream, what I thought was your interpretation of a dream being eaten. The way it died was also fitting and Fierce sounds like a good nickname for the vulpix. One thing I would suggest is having vulpix not fully recognize the name as its own (sort of like how it didn't immediately warm up to Mo).

I'll be looking forward to the next chapter.
DeathGoblin chapter 3 . 9/22/2013
I really liked the transition to the final scene. Hypno is definitely one of the creepier pokemon, especially if you're a child wandering the woods alone. The friendship with Vulpix seemed a bit rushed (not in that it happened too fast, but the two days in which they bonded were not very drawn out), though considering that Mo knew him before the start of chapter one, it could be justified. I also liked the little details about the berry trees being less prevalent as during that time of year. I just really like world building. I'll be looking forward to seeing what the hypno does to Mo.
Heart of the Anime chapter 1 . 9/7/2013
This story is good usually I don't like stories having drama especially with someones parents dyeing but that's just me. If you add to much death it takes away from the story... But this is going well and I hope you update soon.
DeathGoblin chapter 2 . 9/6/2013
This is a nice (and gritty follow up), though an important question is why the Weavile attacked. Most likely it was because of food, but then why attack a barn full of fire types? Another question is what region this takes place in. Other than that this is a solid start to the story. However if this is going to be one of those epic (8-badge/evil team/pokemon league) journey stories I would suggest making the chapters longer by having more plot per chapter. Also, you don't need to show every little bump on the way or even every gym battle. Just make sure you cover the most important plot or character moments. I'll be looking forward to the next chapter.
DeathGoblin chapter 1 . 9/6/2013
This was certainly a dark first chapter, and I like the idea that pokemon aren't just nice creatures who are all on the same side. They are dangerous animals and people either need guns or other pokemon to protect themselves. One thing I would do slightly differently would be the paragraph arrangement:

Mo watched in terror as his mom began to be engulfed by a layer of ice. The fire spreading to the walls around him, Mo ran to his father who was lying knocked out on the floor. "Dad, wake up!" Mo coughed as his lungs took in smoke. The ice attack still freezing over his mother. "Dad!" he cried. He tried lifting his dad but couldn't budge him. Bill was too big for Mo to lift. Mo looked around to see if he could use anything to save his mother and father. The smoke was thick and he could hardly breathe. Flaming pieces of roof began falling to the ground. The structure was weakening; Mo was running out of time.

I would write this paragraph like this:

Mo watched in terror as his mom began to be engulfed by a layer of ice. The fire spreading to the walls around him, Mo ran to his father who was lying knocked out on the floor. "Dad, wake up!" Mo coughed as his lungs took in smoke.

The ice attack still freezing over his mother.

"Dad!" he cried. He tried lifting his dad but couldn't budge him.

Bill was too big for Mo to lift.

Mo looked around to see if he could use anything to save his mother and father.

The smoke was thick and he could hardly breathe. Flaming pieces of roof began falling to the ground. The structure was weakening; Mo was running out of time.

Basically I change paragraphs whenever the subject (what the sentence is about) switches to someone or something else, not just when a new person speaks. While this will result in a lot of smaller paragraphs, that's not necessarily a bad thing (especially for fast-paced scenes) and you can always just alter a sentence so it has the same subject as the one before it.
Infinity8Kyaun chapter 1 . 7/29/2013
You revised it? I like it alot :)
Lady Monopolist chapter 1 . 7/23/2013
Start a new paragraph every time someone different speaks, it's easier to tell who's speaking this way. Also, separate your paragraphs so they don't get too big.