|Reviews for Persona 4: I Don't Belong Here|
| Golden-Black Dragon chapter 210 . 13h
So, Charles shut down because Adachi basically tried to commit suicide-by-cop? It wasn't even his fault, hence the term "suicide-by-cop". Adachi (basically) wanted to die so Ameno-Sagiri would manifest. Not killing him would have created the same outcome, regardless of whoever Adachi taunted into killing him.
The Persona progression/evolution/whatever thing was pretty cool. It took Yu almost dying for it to happen, which actually makes the Social Links a lot more important.
Why would Dojima be guilty about what Adachi did? He didn't say "Oh go and kill some people..." So he wouldn't have known that Adachi would do something like that.
Does Charles becoming/not becoming the Wild Card make any difference? Because people (not me) have complained about OCs being awarded the Wild Card just by existing.
Yu giving Minako carte blanche again? You'd think there'd be a slight cooling off period for them, as opposed to the other couples apart from Naoto/James and Chie/Yosuke.
I think you made Marie's disappearance resonate a lot more than having Margaret just say "Oh, she went missing". In P4/P4TG, even IF you maxed out the Aeon Social Link... Well...
Who's the "Man in Red"?
| Doom Marine 54 chapter 209 . 8/20
And the mediocrity of your idiotic self insert story continues.
| Golden-Black Dragon chapter 209 . 8/20
I don't quite think that it was necessary to make Charles, James, Will and Yu watch Elizabeth being raped via Adachi's manipulation of the environment in Magatsu Inaba. Adachi was far more subtle in P4/P4TG than how you've presented him. He's sort of like a marginally less creepy version of Grima Wormtongue in P4/P4TG given his attempts at manipulating Yu, the Investigation Team and Dojima among others. Although, Adachi mightn't be getting shot full of arrows any time soon.
Irina's back? I wonder how that will affect things.
Wait, why is The Grim Reaper siding with Adachi? As a personification of Death, the Grim Reaper has no sides to take. He is effectively his OWN side, to put it one way.
I'm not sure if Charles attempting to perform a citizen's arrest on Adachi is all that realistic. For one thing, there mightn't be a similar law permitting such an action in Japan. Plus, the laws of America and Japan are different when it comes to criminal justice anyway.
I wonder if the outcome of Charles' nightmare/vision will still end up the same. And, if there's no more "Do-Overs"/Save-States then will things just carry on as is? The Velvet Room had, as of the overall canon of the Persona series, manipulated the space-time continuum at least twice. Something like P2IE/P2EP could be the result of too much tampering with the timeline.
In relation to my earlier complaint about how you've presented Adachi, he's just too unbelievable as villain. The idea that he's suddenly able to create mirror images of himself from being immersed in Mayonaka for so long without suffering any ill effects especially. I know that the Scarlet Room may have helped, but...
| Golden-Black Dragon chapter 208 . 8/19
What the hell was that?
So, a really messed up dream sequence and probably the ultimate soap opera twist... a baby. Wow.
I hope that the rest of "Chapter 200" is a lot better.
The Star Trek reboots explain WHY time travel is a horrible idea. Seeing as Spock A sort of contributes to the Planet Vulcan of Timeline B being destroyed.
And Sogi-Yo? Really?
| Golden-Black Dragon chapter 207 . 8/6
So, everybody's bi in your universe? Really? Look, they're open to interpretation but it's getting a little bit ridiculous. Okay, there was a "Gay Option" in P2 but that wasn't done as a contrivance.
Charles and Caitlin's meeting was a bit disappointing. Partly because of the whole "Caitlin seeing a married man and being the mother of his kid" thing... It's like something out of a bad soap opera. Or, given that my neck of the woods is close to the UK, like something out of shows like East Enders, Coronation Street or Emmerdale.
Also, as someone who does happen to be Japanese, I find it very hard to believe that Japan has such conservative attitudes to human sexuality. Especially given the fact that there were gay poets in the 17th century who basically documented their lives and whatnot.
The Seekers of Truth seem to be having some issues... Again.
Yu getting corrupted by mind parasites actually works. Sort of like Animorphs in a very weird way. (Not explaining the reference)
Minako/Eurydice just unleashed the Dark Hour? You'd think that there'd be SOME part of her that still remembers how bad of an idea that is. And I doubt that the IT/Seekers of Truth or SEES will have any option but to kill her.
I wonder how you're going to be keeping the intensity going for/during Chapter 200 and its constituent parts.
Shinoa Hiragi? Is she a relative of the Nametames?
| Guest chapter 206 . 8/3
Mind is officially fucked.
| Golden-Black Dragon chapter 206 . 8/3
So, Charles and Caitlin are twins? Okaaaaaay?
Really not sure what to make of the chapter other than the twist being genuinely unexpected.
| magmon1000 chapter 206 . 8/3
Shamalan: What a twist!
| Golden-Black Dragon chapter 205 . 7/20
I actually preferred this interlude to the other interlude or some of the preceding chapters in this arc.
SEES have grown up and the new additions actually contribute to the team rather than act as extras who steal the spotlight. Unless Caitlin, Benham and Diego have appeared in Persona related stuff before... Like TRINITY SOUL! YEEEEEEEEEEEEES.
The idea of Port Island becoming a "Police State" actually links up with the main theme of Persona 5 rather well. Or at least, a significant plot point in Persona 5.
Junpei getting his happy ending with Chidori was definitely good to see. Even though it's canonically impossible, I still think that Junpei deserved as much of a chance of happiness as anybody else in the P3 cast.
Labrys essentially pretending to be Arnold Schwarzenegger circa Terminator/Terminator II: Judgment Day was brilliant.
So, SEES have 72 hours to bring back Minako... Or else? I think the pressure is definitely on.
| Golden-Black Dragon chapter 204 . 7/19
So, turning Minako/Eurydice into either a Dominatrix or some sort of biker babe with an obsessions for leather makes her any more "possessed" by her Shadow? Jeez... It just seems like really bad writing on your part. Not saying that in a mean way.
I know that the Ancient Warrior and Nameless Puppet weren't your ideas, but... At least TRY and give them names that fit the setting for goodness sake.
And... The entire team is acting like children so we're back to having a soap opera again. Yeah, pretty much every member of the main cast in all the Persona games were teenagers, but there wasn't that much squabbling between them.
Did Siobhan/Katie really sacrifice herself? Or was it a cheap drama thing? No, wait, it was a cheap drama thing. Why not just have the "real" Reiko show up? Have you worked out the Persona progression(s) for your OCs?
But... At least the team is going to be supporting Yu while also rescuing Amiko/Tohru and confronting Adachi.
Also, the Inn probably wouldn't end up failing because people/the media fudged a few details/stories in relation to the murders and blamed Yukiko or whoever for them.
Really not sure what to think.
So, Chris and Will are deputising for Minako, along with some other people? Maybe?
| SmileRen chapter 204 . 7/18
You forgot to send me the scene first though but that's okay :3
| Golden-Black Dragon chapter 203 . 7/18
I don't really think that did it for me... Sorry.
| Guest chapter 201 . 7/15
You know it's a fanfic when the MC's dead mother crawls out of hell to tell him vital plot elements.
And how come Charles acts like a 'badass' edgy teenager half of the time and a crying bitch the other half ?
| Golden-Black Dragon chapter 202 . 7/16
So, Will has a Persona too? Shouldn't Chris have a Persona because he was a member of SEES? And, seeing as P4 had the main Personas of each character based off of figures from either Japanese mythology or history, there could have been a few such figures that you could have picked from.
Why would Minako's Shadow be called Eurydice? Seeing as Eurydice/Eurydice Telos was her original Persona in the first place? Either way, Shadow Minako will most likely end up losing despite the little boost that Thanatos might give her.
But... Yu is still acting as a doormat for Minako for some reason. Given what she's done, he should be a lot less happy.
Ah... You're making sex a "Integral" part of your plot again. Really? Peeping/Spying isn't entirely about catching people being intimate. (Legally) it's about catching people at their most vulnerable. Still though, Minako being possessed is no excuse for betraying peoples' trust like that.
I think having Teddie/Teddye originate from Koetsu Kirijo's little experiment is interesting. It helps tie the plot of IDBH in with P3/P3FES. The main problem with the Persona series is the reluctance to have massive amounts of continuity between the games. Hopefully P5 will change that.
To be honest, having Yu confront Adachi by himself or with Charles would have been far better. Or at least more cathartic for Charles. Plus, as leader of the team, Yu would have more of a stake in confronting Adachi than everybody else, or at least he did in P4/P4TG.
It's been a pretty good chapter, all things considered though.
| SmileRen chapter 202 . 7/15
My favorite part was where Minako got struck by lighting :D