|Reviews for Scarazial|
| QueenoftheUndergrowth chapter 28 . 8/10/2014
Again, you've managed to leave my eyes glued to my screen. Another great work of fiction. I just hope Zim recovers. After all he's been through too... Then there's the Dib who just had to go and get himself possessed (or was it the Dib in a way still?) I'll admit I thought his style change at the end sounded really bad a**
What I’ve really enjoyed about this series is the star role being shifted to other characters. I just read two chapters without Zim and didn't miss him in the least (I'm not the best example of a 'Zim Fan'). The same for Dib too. At the start of this series, the focus was both on Dib and Zim and I love how it's progressed to other characters.
Red and Gloria are my favourite characters to read about. I know you don't plan on any romance (a mutual respect between them at the least) but I wouldn't mind if it bordered somewhere there, even if just a teeny weeny bit. Their 'marriage' I suppose was the farthest it would go, and the kiss on the forehead. I know it would never work because of their complicated history and the fact Red is Irken; a species devoid of love and anything else that distinguishes humans. He has changed, but the human concept of ‘romance’ will still be foreign to him. I have always had a soft spot for possible human/alien romances though (bit creepy) or anything which is otherworldly to the human in the relationship.
I guess really what I’m hoping for is a possible Scar/Gloria ship. Well, a mutual partnership for the sake of the Empire and Earth because the Red Gloria knew has gone.
I gave Riddick a chance like you asked of me, and I liked him at the end of the story (I only say this because I never knew much about him at first). I do like the way he talks though… He’s sort of pompous in a deliciously evil kind of way and clearly knows how to dress. Has style, is articulate, and can create things out of nothing, he has the whole package. We were just unfamiliar with him and weren’t sure how to place him yet in the story… Well now we finally know his purpose. I hope he can revert his brother, Zim, back to his old self… I have to ask, but was the loud smeet Zim? It wouldn’t surprise me… I never got on to it at first (kind of slow of me…. ) Also, will Zim get jealous now because Gloria got to spend more time with Riddick as a smeet, and finally got to say all those things she saved for Zim to Riddick? Zim has his Maneen though to be fair, poor Riddick had no one.… I will have to find out in the next story…
| wolfmoonsshadow chapter 5 . 7/24/2014
I wouldn't worry about retconning your stories to get rid of plot holes. It's fan fiction and people will have to deal. If it makes you feel better though, through a majority of my life I followed Stephen King's Dark Tower series. He started it at 19 and finished the 7th book at 55. There are a LOT of plot holes. No one gets every story perfect; not even "professionals". I think the best you can do is make your story engaging, and hopefully as fresh and original as possible. Don't get down on yourself for not being perfect. If you were flawless your stories would be boring, and there wouldn't be anything to talk about. And by the by, I think you are doing well, and I enjoy reading them.
| Invader Johnny chapter 28 . 12/23/2013
Interesting way to end it, I want to kill you for being a cliff-hanger, I mean I have so many questions, well I look coward for the next installment of the saga.
Invader Johnny Signing Off.
| grandvizier527 chapter 28 . 12/23/2013
Excellent end to the story with the "somewhere" paragraphs. Also, I thought I was the only one who was the least bit critical of Riddick. But now that you've shown us why he is the way he is, I don't dislike him anymore. You didn't need to make a tumbler defending him, I like him now! :)
Can't wait for the next installment of the Resilience saga!
| ngrey651 chapter 28 . 12/23/2013
Wait. A control brain?
...how? They're lightyears away and Dib isn't even IRKEN. How can it do that? I'd get manipulating through a PAK but...
| Raven AKA Birdsteeth chapter 26 . 12/20/2013
8O OMGeedles! Zim and Riddick are brothers!... The crazy gene really must run in the family...
| people can eat food chapter 27 . 12/20/2013
So many updates... So little time... It feels me with such joy. *weeps happily* I love this story.. So much. Though, I feel like it's getting to a point where it's mostly dialogue... But it's still great. -
| Invader Johnny chapter 27 . 12/20/2013
Dib has flipped so horribly I sure hope Tallest Red has hope to live.
Invader Johnny Signing Off.
| curiousfan chapter 27 . 12/20/2013
(Sorry for the long post)
First off, your series is amazing. I have never read something with characters, well, so in character, and believable, yet with a full cast of original characters and a completely made up culture and background to explain Zim's personality. I read all 5 of the stories, over the last 2 days (last night I didn't sleep because I couldn't stop) I found myself teary eyed at some parts, and laughing at others due to Zim's innocent ignorance of human sayings and his attempts to understand them. Your choices in creating a villain-Red- and turning him into a sympathetic character, in making him Zim's biological parent, Zim related to Dib, as well as exploring Zim as a person/alien with PTSD was incredible. However, I couldn't help wondering the purpose of the arc revolving around "Riddick", in Scarazial. The strange evil presence with yellow eyes controlling the Irken Empire and possessing Darkbooty was one thing, even Tunaghost who knows magic... but a character feeling so random, an Irken with magician like powers, dressed like he was from the circus, and a TWIN of Zim no less... feels so sudden and ill placed to me as a reader. Its like the cliche evil twin emerges, that is almost invincible to everyone... Of course I'll keep reading as you update, because I can't stop thinking about this story. The writing style also seems changed... especially when Riddick comes into the scene... I look forward to your next update, but hope as a reader that this character starts making sense... and fast. For one character to ruin such a long, and wonderfully written story because of his sudden, unexplained, unforeseen inclusion in only a few chapters... I think is disheartening. And maybe I'm the only one who sees it this way, out of your readers, and do not know if you have considered this idea before. Maybe this is "all part of the plan", and this character will start to make more sense to me.
Another question: I'm wondering are you going to bring back some form of focus on Zim and his mental recovery from his various experiences, especially with the SwollenEyeBall? This, along with his past and PTSD, and learning to trust and love, was the most interesting concept I found in your series.
Despite all these things I said, I still am looking forward to your next chapter. I hope my review does not sound harsh and that you understand these concerns.
| Zora Princess chapter 26 . 12/17/2013
...Crap. I'm guessing this means Riddick and Zim are twins then. Plot twist! Oh, this is gonna be fun.
See ya- Zora
| grandvizier527 chapter 26 . 12/18/2013
Very interesting little plot twist! Gotta say, didn't see it coming. I mean, I remember Gloria recalling 2 babies several stories back, but I didn't think you'd actually use the second baby! Looks like Zim has a twin AND a half-brother! Now that you've revealed Riddick's backstory, I feel like all my past criticism for him has pretty much been blown out of the water. NOW I now why he is the way he is! Thanks for revealing this information!
| ngrey651 chapter 26 . 12/17/2013
Oh...my...Lord. I...I never saw this coming. Riddick actually being...she's his...
Well. This explains a few things about him. Why he's so bitter, why he feels such hatred for the Irken race, even more so than just "they suck because they're oppressive" thing. I admit, I did not see this coming. Very good twist. I can't wait to see how he REACTS. His mind must be blown.
| Invader Johnny chapter 26 . 12/17/2013
Riddick is Gloria's son?!
I did not see that one coming.
Invader Johnny Signing Off.
| grandvizier527 chapter 25 . 12/16/2013
I want to basically use this as a spot where I can review not this chapter but the series as a whole. Yeah, I know I could have done it for each individual story in the saga, but I felt that you'd be most likely to see it if I put it at the most recent point in the series. I figured you'd have your review alerts for your previous stories off or something. But anyway...
While the tone of this whole series is different than the original show's, as I said before, this makes the concepts (Zim getting an adoptive family, the backstory of Dib's mother, Red's backstory, etc.) very believable in-universe. The show's characters are all fleshed out and explored (except for Gir, but that's forgivable), and the cast of OCs, for the most part, are very interesting as well, even if their role in the story is minimal at times.
On Zim's family: The family structure is very heartwarming to see, a nice little beacon of family closeness in a series so filled with peril for both the human and Irken races. Tom, while generally silent, is also resilient (yeah, I know) in the face of the danger his family faces, as well as a great father to Zim. Della, while she tends to have a thin temper and has to occasionally have her frustration kept in check by her husband, isn't unlikeable in the least. It's clear to see that her occasional bouts of anger at Zim come from the stress piled upon her as the mother of 2 girls that have been through as much trauma as their adopted brother. Also, she provides the motherly figure that Zim needs (which every Irken, by extension, should have as well) by fretting over him at times just as a mother would, even if it obstructs Zim's plans (although that hasn't happened much lately). I don't have as much to say about Mikko and Tiana, but the fact that Zim went from being a megalomaniacal alien to a loving brother to these two girls, vowing to protect them at all costs, is quite a testament to both Zim's dynamic character shift and the two girls' profound ability to love him despite the fact that he more or less arrives into their lives without their consent. My only grievance is that Zim's family hasn't been seen much since Danem. I really hope you find a way to bring them back into the story again!
On Gloria: Her story is so tragic and heartbreaking, but her willpower and desire to triumph through the trauma (I've noticed trauma and recovery is sort of a theme in your works) despite how Red has wronged her almost irredeemably (almost) is inspiring. The fact that her situation is eerily reminiscent of real life kidnapping/rape horror stories is both a measurement of how dark your stories can be and possibly an inspiration to anyone who's been in a similar situation. In her own way, Gloria, not Zim, is the protagonist of this series, or at least of Sempadinum and partially of Scarazial. Although she's the sort of character that Vasquez would never write (probably due to lack of comedic potential), Gloria is also a very valuable source of hope and recovery in the context of your series.
As for Professor Membrane, his death in Danem was so saddening. I thought that perhaps you could have done more with him, but I can understand if managing too many characters became a hassle and you realized you had to get rid of one. Alternatively, if his death means something else besides management, I can't wait to find out what that is in a future chapter or story!
Tunaghost's unique magical abilities are done in such a way, that, while she is a very important character in the series, doesn't make her cheap or overpowered at all. I like that! Although magic does technically exist in the IZ universe (Mortos and the Shadow Hog come to mind), it isn't used very often. Tunaghost is a great representation of how magic should be in a fictional universe where it isn't common: useful to the plot, but not in a way that gives the protagonist(s) free reign to accomplish their goal.
Gaz has also been quite the dynamic character, going from a sister of Dib's with lots of untapped power hidden away to a completely new species of alien with motives for staying with a human family quite similar to Zim's. Her role in Danem as (temporarily) the de facto antagonist-in that she obstructed everyone's actions, not that she was trying to kill anybody without reason-gave her quite a sympathetic side as I realized that she was threatening Zim, Red, and other characters not out of wrath or a "Do this or I'll hurt you" attitude like she would in the show, but just out of love for Gloria. Indeed, I can't watch Invader Zim anymore without seeing Gaz as a morflar, wearing a human disguise and just never taking it off. Before reading this, Gaz's somewhat bratty attitude, IMO, was a little off-putting, although not too annoying to be unwatchable or make me outright hate her. But now in this story, the fact that she actually DID have power the whole time puts everything in a whole new light. Your Gaz is, without a doubt, a thousand times better than the actual show's Gaz.
Since this review is really taking up space, I'll make my praise for your portrayals of Dib, Zim and Red go together: Out of the context of this story, the idea of Zim caring for anyone, Dib becoming his friend (and half-brother, thus sinking all potential ZADR ships in the story, which I can't thank you enough for!) and Red having raped Dib's mother, with Zim being a child of that rape, sounds ridiculous and very off-putting. Certainly not a fanfic anybody would read, right? WRONG! One great thing about your fanfiction is that you take a character and change them so that whatever idea you have for them WORKS, no matter what it is or if it seems to contradict the character's personality. While Dib, Zim and Red have all had their personalities warped to an extent by the events of the story, you make it seem realistic in-universe, as if this is what would really happen to them if it had happened on the show (but then it would be rated TV-MA or something, or possibly not shown on television at all). Your ability to take a character and put them in situations that seem inappropriate for them, yet keep them in character (most fanfic writers are good at the former but not the latter) is an amazing feat. I can say without a doubt that your fanfics are better than mine. Period. Don't look at them, they'll fill you with DOOOOOM! At least, that's what I think Zim would say.
Now that I've finished with the praise, I have to move on to a few minor criticisms, sadly...
This series lacks the humor of Invader Zim that we've all come to know and love, sadly. While I can occasionally find it in a few places in the saga, it usually gives way to the drama and tragedy of the rest of the story. Sometimes, I'd be reading and kind of wish that Zim would suddenly revert back to his old self, even if only for just a little bit, even though his personality in your stories has certainly made him become a much better Irken than he was before. But of course, this is only a minor criticism.
Where's Ms. Bitters? I feel like now it's too late to add her, but I think she would have been great for this series, what with her dark personality, vague past, and grim demeanor.
Also, if you're wondering why I didn't include Riddick in that list of praises for all of the characters used in the story, well...he's a bit of an exception to the praise. I give him some slack since he's new, but to be honest, I feel like his appearance in this story has been less of introduction and more of an intrusion.
For one thing, the fact that (as you've stated) he belongs to another writer, CHIKARAFICTION, makes him stand out. While I'm sure you're portraying him perfectly according to whatever specifications your friend may have wanted you to, I still feel that there's something about him that doesn't quite blend in with the rest of the cast. It's mainly because I've seen characters like him before.
When my brother and I were younger, we would get our toys or some imaginary characters we had made up from our heads and have them go on adventures of some sort. Although they were fun times, one thing was always the same. It was the villain, whose personality, appearance, and virtually everything about him was designed by my brother. While this villain (I don't want to say too much about him to respect my brother's privacy) was a very creative idea, especially since we were little kids when my brother first came up with the idea of him and his reasons for being evil, I was always under the impression that he was always overpowered, even though he eventually lost like all villains.
Riddick is like this villain in that he seems way too overpowered even though I know he won't win. I felt that it was a little bit unfair, the way he sneaked onboard the Massive and nearly killed Gloria without a scuffle. I also felt it was kind of cheap how he was able to nearly kill Gaz as well. It's sort of a pet peeve of mine for a character to be established as "most powerful" in the story in terms of doing damage to suddenly be completely overwhelmed by a new guy that kind of shows up out of nowhere. Granted, Riddick didn't show up out of nowhere, and Gaz's weakness to sonic sounds was already established earlier, but I still feel that his ability to nearly leave her dead without so much as a fair fight was just too cheap. I mean, couldn't he have at least LOOKED like he was losing to somebody in combat for just one second? And while Riddick does have a weakness in that he has to be a cannibal in order to fuel his powers, that seems like a small price to pay for his abilities.
Riddick's encounter with Zim also gave him 2 more unfavorable traits: his lack of reactions and his incessant trash-talking. The whole time he and Zim were talking before their mini-fight, it was just annoying to have to hear him basically rephrase the words "I can beat you up, I'm sooo much more powerful than you, you're all going to die and there's nothing you can do ab
| grandvizier527 chapter 24 . 12/16/2013
One question: How do Irken drones bathe the Tallest when they all burn in water? Do they use some sort of alternate liquid, or some sort of heavily purified water that wouldn't harm their skin? Just curious.