Reviews for Grave
Megan McAlistair chapter 1 . 1/22/2011
okay, I'm about nine years late with this review but it's still one hell of a good story

very well characterized and the memory added a nice touch to it

I'd say keep up the work but I don't know if you already have...

so in case you haven't... do it
Salkiethia chapter 1 . 2/20/2008
I really liked this. Yami's got a twisted sort of past to him, true, but gods... Description and thought mingle so well in this that it's brilliant. I think I use that word too much, but I can't think of anything else to use to descibe it. 'Awesome' has been overused, and isn't quite what I'm looking for.

Great work. I enjoyed it thoroughly.
hIDinG tHIeF chapter 1 . 4/8/2006
This would have to be one of the most moving things I've read in a long time. Especially because my dog got hit by a car and died a few months ago... I couldn't look, I'm afraid ;... Incredible originality, and very, very thoughtful. I never really appreciated tomb stones before, I think. I'd write something longer, but it's hard to think of anything encompassing to say... Just know, this is *totally* on my favorite stories ;)
Anon chapter 1 . 7/27/2005
Okay, you asked for a review...

I haven't read much of your other work, so I don't know what your writing skills are like generally. Your grammar is good, although might I point out that thunder should probably 'peal' not 'peel'.

As for the story itself, I find it somewhat confusing.

In the flashbacks: Why would a pharaoh be burying a slave? Surely, even had he been responsible for the man's death, he would still have had many others to do the work for him. Pharaohs are busy guys - they have countries to run, wars to wage, they don't have time to bury accidentally-dead slaves. And on top of that, burial was a big thing in Ancient Egypt - if Yami Yugi (am I right in assuming that was the person narrating?) had felt that he needed to atone in some way for his slave's death, he would have committed some money for a proper burial so that his eternal life could be a pleasant one.

In this time: Have you ever buried a creature? Because I have, and I've got to say, even in heavy clay soil, it's not the reallocation of earth that is the hard part - it's the digging the hole. Once all the soil is out of the ground and sitting in a pile next to the grave - that's nine-tenths of the work right there. Everything else is easy. Well, actually not everything else. I will assume you haven't ever had the need nor desire to lift upwards of 45kgs of dead animal. Believe me, it is HEAVY. And awkward. Yami was lucky to find that the deer fitted into the hole first time around. Also, if rigor mortis has set in, this includes not only external muscles like legs and arms, but also intestines and bladder etc., if you understand. Might I suggest that Yami Yugi would be covered not only with mud and sweat, but also possibly matted animal fur, blood, saliva...

It's also likely that Yami would be suffering from blisters on his hands more than splinters. I totally agree with the soreness of muscles part - you wrote that well - and also how clothes become irritating and/or uncomfortable.

Right at the end - I don't follow when you say 'Grave was a complete secret now.' If you've just dug a grave there is going to be an area (large, in the case of a deer) of freshly-turned earth exposed instead of whatever plants and grasses grow next to it.

I suppose this sounds rather critical, but then, it is supposed to be a critique. Basically, I found too much of this doesn't ring true for me to enjoy it greatly. Having said that, your manipulation of language wasn't bad. Anyway, I hope this review is helpful.

.Anon
Pointed Teeth chapter 1 . 6/20/2005
Dark, but interesting. The lines about life and death seemed slightly melodramatic but all in all a good fic to read. Good job.
Misery chapter 1 . 12/19/2004
Okay i know i review like ALL of your stories but you are my favorite author. I love all your yu-gi-oh stories but haven't read your other ones yet. Hmm...i should do that. Oh well keep writing and do other chapters for Domination and Experiment.
thinginthedark chapter 1 . 12/6/2004
Not bad. Not bad at all. Actually, it was quite good. This is only the second story I've read of yours and I must say that I really enjoy them. Very descriptive. Keep up the good work.
Moonrunner chapter 1 . 10/27/2004
Have you ever found a story once, really liked it, and never found it again? That's what this one's like. I first found this months ago, and just now refound it. Anyway, this seriously rocks. Really.
Kadreshina chapter 1 . 9/9/2004
Amazing piece of work. I can't find a better way to put it. I wish I could rave further about it, but I'm at a loss for words. Please, keep writing. I would love to read more.
samurai-ashes chapter 1 . 3/15/2004
( is evil - sorry if this reviews twice).
Anyway, deep stuff you have here; makes you think. Good work.
- ashes -
DreamingChild chapter 1 . 11/27/2003
OMG. Have you ever read something that made you tingle? Really tingle like you had the chills? That was one of the most poingiant and well-crafted things that I've ever read on . I'm still feeling goosebumps. I get that excited about good writing.

Specifically, I'm talking about how you were able to weave the descriptions together without making them gaudy or overbearing. They were just so. And the whole double entendre with the grave thing. He was burying a body, but also burying part of his memories, or, more accurately, part of his feelings. He was so objectively described, his emotions so real. So many authors just turn the characters into caricatures of themselves, but you've managed to add layers, and strip some at the same time. There was nowhere in this where I felt that you were bowing to the instinct to "be nice" to your characters, or protect them. You just layed out the simple truth. Yami is mature, but he can't handle the raw guilt he feels. And there's no way I would blame him. Thank you for writing.
purplechaos04 chapter 1 . 11/20/2003
I liked this story a lot, it was very original, reflective, and actually made me think. Shibby
Kurama no Miko2003 chapter 1 . 9/26/2003
Wow . . . never thought I'd read a fic like this about Yami, of all people . . . or maybe I should expect one from him. He's the only one who'd feel guilty about killing someone . . . or maybe Bakura would too, but just deal with it differently. It's good . . . I like it.

Kurama no Miko2003
yami27 chapter 1 . 7/30/2003
Wow, there is so much feeling in this! I can't write as good as that!

I love all ya stories!

keep it up!
Satiah chapter 1 . 7/13/2003
Wow. I really liked how this story was written. It was very discriptive, and I could almost see myself there, standing in the rain and watching Yami dig that grave. Very detailed. Thanks. _
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