|Reviews for Mother|
| GuestX3 chapter 1 . 1/9
ATTENTION TO EVERYONE WHO READES THIS. CAN YOU PLEASE MAKE A FANFIC ABOUT THOMAS WAS ALONE BUT THOMAS ANS EVERYONE HAS TO BE HUMAN. THAT IS MY CHALLENGE FOR YOU.
And writer of this story. This story was so good. I am currently drowning in feels as we read or as I type. You're story was fantastic! Nya
| rana2001 chapter 1 . 11/29/2014
this should not be as good as it is oh my god
| bluekrishna chapter 1 . 7/15/2014
"...declared them murders." *murderers, possibly?
"Sarah: . . . John: . . . " sentences following colons should be capitalized.
Other than that, and a few missing commas, I didn't notice any errors. Just tight and suspenseful tale-crafting all around. Strong narrator voice with a nice sorrowful flavor that really made this piece poignant.
It really makes me want to play the game. I mean, like I'm going to go see if it's on Steam right after this. lol. Anyway, why is it whenever game designers name something that will really screw up, they always reach for the Bible first? Babel, really? Lol. It's like naming your protagonist JC(or Shepherd. XD) *wink wink.
Might as well name a doomed ship Titanic. Anyway, just razzing the game/movie/show creators for tipping their hand. Always with the portentous names, giving us clues. Making us keep an eye on the meta of it. Predictable is blase, I say.
Anyway, that rant had nothing to do with the fic. Sorry.
I really enjoyed it and hope to read another of your crafting soon. Keep on keeping on!
| Lady Amiee chapter 1 . 6/16/2014
So, I wanted to read something a little different, and I got it with this. I love it! You have given Thomas a whole new voice in my head, other than the one from Chopped Bread's Thomas. You have a wonderful way with words, and the flow is amazing.
Some of the turn of Phrase you use ... this just makes me so sad. "It was Thomas's last cry out to the universe. One last shout that he, in fact, existed' That actually made me gasp. I love it so much. Your innate poetical and stunning soul is clear in this work, and I am once again awed by it, and you, Aeternix.
I could find nothing to crit at all, but I adored this, so thank you so so much for sharing. *Hugs all the hugs for you*
| TriforceLink205 chapter 1 . 5/30/2014
This was amazing! I just beat this game today and absolutely love it, and I definitely think you should write a sequel! Please!
| Tojin chapter 1 . 2/16/2014
Wow, great story! Your writing is great, and the ending actually made me tear up a bit. Well done. )
| Thomas chapter 1 . 2/16/2014
I... I don't... There are no words to describe how this makes me feel. I just... Thank you for writing this. That's it. Just... Thank you.
| Chopped Bread chapter 1 . 1/4/2014
I like simple words, simple phrases that carry a lot of weight. The idea that saying very little can mean so much has always fascinated me, and I love reading stories that manage to convey deep emotions and themes through 'normal' language.
This is one of those stories.
Your clever use of parallel situations, repetition, and flashbacks really build this story well, and make it extremely interesting to read. Combine that with the fact it gives closure to Thomas Was Alone - my favorite video game short story - and you've built an incredible story.
Thomas sounded a bit different here than he does in my head, I don't know... He's older and wiser here, but he feels tired. He's not the same as mine, but his voice fit him perfectly.
I also liked meeting Mary... Hm. Mary. Mother of Thomas, who gave his life to save AI's. I see what you did there. By the end of the story I could hear her too, which made her final bits of dialogue with Thomas at the end that much more meaningful.
I really liked this one-shot, and I think I'll hop over and read some of the other stories at some point in the near future. Be prepared for long-winded reviews!
| Guest chapter 1 . 12/7/2013
Okay, wow. That was beautiful.
| ratchetthe1s chapter 1 . 12/5/2013
This is good, love what you added to the story!
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/18/2013
| Kendoka Girl chapter 1 . 8/4/2013
I read about the whole thing before I realized is was not ME. But this is a deep and engrossing story, full of emotion. The interplay between Thomas and Mary was riveting and showed a great sense of humanity. I enjoyed how the conflict was in the background of the story and how you fed it to the reader just enough to give context, but not overwhelm the interplay.
Just one note - I believe it is "plane" of existence and not "plain".
| Kimminerd chapter 1 . 8/1/2013
l love you so much for writing I love Thomas was alone