|Reviews for A Drunken Tale|
| Lilly The Omega Wolf chapter 1 . 8/30/2014
Well i think that was well written. It sure was hilarious and a fun read :)
I was after something a little hot but not lemon and this fitted the bill nicely. I like how it started, not where I thought it would... but well played and the ending was spot on. Cuddles! At least he would get to wake up to something sweet before the probable little telling off.
| King the judger chapter 1 . 6/28/2014
I AM KING DA JUDGER OF FANFICTIONS (based of angol moa) THIS WAS GOOD CONTINUE
| skyhopper chapter 1 . 6/27/2014
I agree the ending to this story seemed more them, I wouldn't mind a sequel tho lol
| Kal-El Fornia chapter 1 . 11/24/2013
Sloads of fun! I can't believe that I haven't read this before. The image of a drunk Takeru is a particularly hilarious one, and I can actually picture the guy not being able to hold his booze. I do have to raise my eyebrow that they haven't banged lmao, but agaim my eyebrow lowers since I can also picture that as well.
I'm he immortal words of Gilius Thunderhead from Golden Axe:
"Forget about the chumps, and focus on the humps!"
| Guest chapter 1 . 10/20/2013
Great story! Loved how cutely you portrayed everyone :D
| puasluoma chapter 1 . 10/13/2013
| sparkling apples chapter 1 . 9/19/2013
This was extremely enjoyable to read. :)
| Takari02 chapter 1 . 8/7/2013
This was funny, adorable and cute at the same time. I could really see them say and act like this in canon. I really like how nothing happened between them, because Hikari is right. The first time should be remembered and cherished and making love in a drunk state just makes it seem meaningless. Anyway, I enjoyed reading this :)
| LILFOC chapter 1 . 8/5/2013
This was hilarious!
| the alpha phoenix chapter 1 . 8/5/2013
Haha! So many funny things that I don't know where to start lmao. Takeru must be extremely good at darts or Daisuke was very lucky that the knife just missed him lol. No wonder Daisuke is weary of helping out now after he dragged him home from the mess created by Taichi and Yamato. I can easily imagine both of those two trying to get Takeru drunk for a laugh.
Trust Miyako and Daisuke to be the ones to embarrass their friends by yelling details about their sex lives out at the top of their voices. It must have been very awkward for them … but hilarious for us to read about lol.
Anywho … great one-shot. It was really enjoyable and hilarious read!
| Hamm-Ram chapter 1 . 8/1/2013
very nice job. the ending was good. perhaps you could do a sequel where they do take that final step
| videogamenerd101 chapter 1 . 8/1/2013
[He was being carried the mahogany-haired young adult as he leaned on Daisuke's shoulder for support while mumbling something incoherent under his breath.] This should be "…being carried by the…"
[That was the day Daisuke reckoned Hikari was perfect for a job in the education sector, when he witnessed how she managed to soothe her semi-conscious boyfriend to go to bed like a tamer dealing with an aggressive lion.] "semiconscious" shouldn't be hyphenated.
[A sip of it could turn him into a very sassy person that did horribly stupid thing.] "thing" should be plural.
['Ta–Takeru?' She whispered, sounding more surprised than scared.] When using a speech verb, the word immediately following the dialogue should be lowercase unless it's a proper noun.
[His pressed his lips on hers roughly, taking her off guard when he slid his tongue into her mouth, causing her to moan in surprise.] The first "His" should be "He".
[His hands started to move around her body in a disorganized manner, and she shot her eyes wude open when one of his hands slid under her shirt and reached for her breast.] "wude" should be "wide".
[He continued to kiss Hikari's neck hungrily, forcing her head to move upwards so he could have more rooms.] "rooms" should be singular.
[The brown-haired girl had wanted to go to the boys and meet her boyfriend, to support her and to stop this conversation from going where she thought it would be, but the gossip duo forced her to stay.] This should be "…to support him and…"
['Can we just talk about something else…? 'Takeru pleaded while rubbing his temple tiredly.] The last quotation Is attached onto the wrong word.
['It's the same,' Takeru said, his eyes staring into space, as if imagining Hikari was standing somewhere far away.] "was" should be were because it's in the subjunctive mood.
[Meanwhile, the girls were awe-struck.] Don't hyphenate "awestruck".
[If she wasn't concentrating that much in blushing and hiding a wide smile behind her hands, she would have just jumped into Takeru's arms now.] "wasn't" should be "weren't".
[It was as if her body was giving in to Takeru's desire, and Hikari was aware that her mind wasn't that against the idea either.] This should be "…as if her body were giving in…"
[The rational side of hers told her to stop, or she would regret it.] "hers" should be "her".
[She wasn't sure if Takeru was really listening, but it seemed to have a mollifying effect on the blond as his grip and his body relaxed, his rapid breathing slowed down as well.] That last comma is a comma splice. In this case, I'd replace it with a semicolon.
Haha, OMG, this was hilarious. I've always imagined Hikari and Takeru being virgins, and I've always especially imagined Takeru not being a fan of alcohol because of how innocent of a person he's always portrayed as. I absolutely love the idea of Taichi and Yamato trying to get Takeru drunk. Even as their English dub portrayals, I think they'd be the type to do something like that. I've always thought that those two would be total pranksters at school, getting in trouble and all, specifically Taichi. I'm aware that they were never depicted as pranksters, but realistically, teenage guys would pull pranks and jokes on most anyone.
That conversation in the restaurant was just perfect. Mimi and Miyako would definitely be the type of people to ask Hikari such a question, and the same applies for Daisuke toward Takeru. Their personalities just fit for them asking a question like that. I laughed at how coincidental that Takeru, Daisuke, and Ken were talking about the exact same situation in that restaurant while Hikari, Mimi, and Miyako were talking about the same thing in the same restaurant, too. And then when Ken and Miyako's relationship came up in the boys' conversation, that just did it for me. Haha, Ken would totally ask for help on how to satisfy Miyako, considering how insecure of a lot of things he is. But Takeru's confession that he really did want to do it with Hikari was great and, like, right on schedule. I just found it so perfect. :3
Takeru's drunken moments are absolutely hilarious. My favorite one has to be when he was asking all those girls their sizes as well. The one where he started singing Britney Spears is my runner-up. Just the thought of anyone singing while drunk is so entertaining to me because imagining how horrible his/her voice would be in that kind of situation is interesting. Of course, I absolutely loved this one as well. Takeru trying to passionately make out with Hikari while she's feeling awkward about it is, to put it simply, great. Takeru definitely isn't the type to do this, but he's drunk, so obviously, he'd do something like this, and everything was just so, so perfect. But Hikari would be the type to reason with him that right now just isn't the right time. As she said, he'd most likely forget everything that happened when he'd wake up in te morning.
Your writing is great as always. A couple terms may have felt a bit repetitive (brown-haired, etc.), but your writing style still flowed well nonetheless. Your descriptions were very great, and they made me want to continue reading more and wanting for more, even if it was all over. I don't think the ending was abrupt at all. Sure, it was somewhat short, but short doesn't always mean it's bad. I thought it was great! It really showcased how Hikari's sanity would instantly kick in under the circumstances she and Takeru were in.
Overall, a very enjoyable read. I have yet to check out Comfortable Silence, but I'm currently reading five different fics at the same time and I have so many other promises and suggestions to get to before that. But I promise I'll get to it eventually. :) For now, this was a great fic! I hope to read more from you soon!
| Princess Unikitty chapter 1 . 8/1/2013
great story. well plotted, characterized, described, and paced. not really crack though, to be honest with you, even partially... there was some absurdity, yes, but nothing that wouldn't be too out of place in a humour story. which this one is.