|Reviews for Pause for Effect|
| TheWritingChick chapter 1 . 9/17/2014
Very well written price you got there :). I wish this couple had more stories but having one story is better then none. As I said, very well written!
| selenia-sopheria chapter 1 . 8/18/2013
How does this beautiful piece of prose have no reviews?
I like this pair, but now, I love it, and there's little to no FanFiction to do it justice. First, that candle simile: wow! Those implications: brilliant! That four-year-old Inigo: hilarious! And your overall use of language: phenomenal!
I have to say, you have this amazing ability to dip your hand into the humongous pool of words and synonyms and words, and pull out the perfect one in regard to context. That's something that takes me years to do, and by then I'm already lost in my consciousness's digressions and I'm thinking about this one girl that I dislike so much at school and what I'm having for dinner tonight. Also, the implications! I'm a sucker for those! You do a great job of showing and not telling.
I can't really think of anything negative to say, except for the small error in this sentence: "His words died in his throat when an arrow tore throw the foliage like a flash of lightning." Was "throw" supposed to be "through"? And you might want to add more variation to your sentence structure, since at the beginning, a lot of your sentences have the format of "[name/pronoun] [verb]..." I started forgetting about this while reading the second half, so maybe I'm just giving terrible advice here, but don't worry about it.
Other than that, if I wasn't reading this with such a squinty, intense eye, I would have nothing bad to say about this piece of work, because the pros just outweigh the cons by a milestone. But I do have an inquiry: why does it switch from present tense to past tense midway? Is there a method to your madness, or did you just feel the need to organize the drabbles in this way?
Overall, so beautiful! (And you say my writing is good. Pfft.)