Reviews for Elven Desire
Slytheringirl95 chapter 1 . 1/29
I love your story I really hope that you continue I went to know what will happen!
GuntherOH chapter 17 . 12/24/2017
Just wanted to let you know that I love your story and I hope you can get back to it at some point. Thanks for the great reading!
Guest chapter 1 . 10/22/2017
Also I wish you had focused on the romance story. That was going well with the letters. Blaise seemed almost cartoonish in his villainy. Developing Harry & Draco’s romance, slowly, would have been enough. It not maybe come up with a stronger plot than a random villain with cartoonish behaviour and ridiculous motivations.
I think your writing is strong. You have the fundamentals down. But it needs some grooming. And you Need to address the issues of craft and plotting.
Guest chapter 9 . 10/22/2017
Too much introspection. Every line of dialogue seems to be accompanied by several paragraphs of exposition or introspection. It is wearisome. I’m wading through so much unnecessary stuff trying to read your story. Show and don’t tell. (And most of the content of the introspective/expository paragraphs is redundant from previous paragraphs, actions, or dialogue. No need to tell us about Ron’s jealousy in length 3 different times!)
There’s also the issue of head-hopping in your point of view.
The single greatest issue for me is that Harry is regressed into a feeble, pathologically insecure, and weak character for the convenience of the plot. You even attribute his cannonical magical talents to luck and he constantly refers to himself as a freak or not-special (as compared to, uh? Ron? Ginny? Harry, no one’s expecting you to start doing break dancing or do magic tricks to hold their interest).
It’s an unfortunate device some romances use to develop the love story. I call this character the chronically-distressed-damsel. Harry’s utter uselessness gives Draco someone to protect or comfort. It’s a disservice to Harry’s character. And unfortunate, because this story had a strong start (as did Harry’s character).
Guest chapter 17 . 8/31/2017
Update this story it's sooooooooooo good and I really enjoy it. It's never too late to update a great story.
Bellalovecake chapter 6 . 8/10/2017
It's 2am and I just made a really high pitched sound because of Draco Malfoy's cuteness.
brmiller14 chapter 17 . 7/31/2017
Hey, I love this story, Elven Desire. I am wondering if there will be more to it or a sequel? I'd love to see what happens with Ginny, Harry and Draco bonding, and I'm very interested in Hermione and Theo's story line.
a person 56 chapter 16 . 6/30/2017
This is really really good I clinked I'm your story just thinking i need something to pass the time by and I got hooked and lost in your story its one chapter after the next at the end of chapter 17 I was like ohh damn and went for the next chapter only To see 17 there I literally screamed why and had my sister look at me as if I'm crazy and I feel broken hearted that cliffhanger and u just want more and I'm saying the magic word please please please
Enishi-Haru chapter 17 . 3/17/2017
Great story, I'm looking forward to the next chapter. Please don't abandon
EmeraldDJ chapter 17 . 1/21/2017
Amazing story, just hope that you update soon because it's been years.
clato lover forever chapter 17 . 1/15/2017
I no it's been years but please update
Imagine201 chapter 17 . 10/4/2016
Please update
Sea Dream chapter 1 . 7/29/2016
Not a bad start. Perhaps in the future, take care to look out for run on sentences. You have a few of them, especially towards the beginning of the chapter.
Guest chapter 1 . 4/20/2016
Harry should have been told that there was a possibility of a creature inheritance upon turning 18. There is no reason why he shouldn't feel at the least slightly betrayed that no one told him something that everyone knew, and was watching for. Especially considering the fact that he was already irritated that they were all but making him stay at the burrow. That was my only issue with this chapter. I look forward to the next chapter.
minggene chapter 17 . 3/17/2016
Love love love the story! The sweetness between draco and harry is seriously giving me sugar rush I finish all 17 chapters in 1 day... really hoping for a new update!
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