|Reviews for How to Make an Avox|
| Guitar Amateur chapter 6 . 3/22
Funnily enough, although I braced myself to quit reading in the middle of it, I was pleasantly surprised at the tact with which the gruesome process was treated. There weren't unnecessary descriptions of the gore and abuse, making the story better to stomach.
I appreciate stories that simply present the evil without glorifying it. Thank you.
| EStrunk chapter 6 . 3/15
Although Panem is pretty horrible for everyone I think you may have a point that being a red-head ups the anguish. Maybe it is just standing out in any way.
I was interested in this one since I've begun a fic (a Gale/Madge) that involves a bunch of avoxes. I must say that you are even more horrible to your victims than I've been. I do think the sexual abuse is pretty guaranteed.
| EStrunk chapter 5 . 3/15
Wonderful to touch into the HG characters and world here. I love that Lavinia is honest, but comforts him. The having to throw away good food part fit into one of the big themes of HG. I hate the comment about how his sobs sound.
| EStrunk chapter 4 . 3/15
This conditioning makes sense, esp. given how completely subdued the avoxes are. Once again the happy Capitol talk makes this fit into the Panem universe, but is repulsive.
| EStrunk chapter 3 . 3/15
Absolutely gross and hideous. I do respect your obvious research, although I hate how thorough they were, esp. the last add injury to insult (okay to more injury) step. Can't comment more, because this makes me nauseous. BTW- this really should be rated "M."
| EStrunk chapter 2 . 3/15
I loved that Purnia told him that his interference may have actually served a purpose - that does make a huge difference. His request for her to tell his family that he was shot was horrible. The rest was, unfortunately, a very believable depiction of how the Capitol might act. As soon as I read the line about how professional the guards were I knew things were going to get bad. The bored torturer was horrible, esp. as Darius realized that they would hurt him without killing him. I was relieved when he gave in.
| EStrunk chapter 1 . 3/15
The juxtaposition of the cheery Capitol tone and the reality was very affecting. I love Darius. Thread's attitude was perfect, esp. his statement that the "district was more corrupt than he thought." Ugh.
| Julia451 chapter 6 . 3/6
This is extremely well-written. I like the format you chose - creepy, completely in-character for the Capitol, effective, and perfectly balanced with the shifts in perspective perfectly timed, especially the training montage. You capture the details of this type of atrocity in a superb way. The final scene between Darius and Lavinia was strong and beautiful (for lack of a better term, given the circumstances) but abrupt - you need more interaction between these two.
I'm also pretty sure the Capitol would never deliver a slave to a new location without at least some time set aside for preparation so that the new owners wouldn't be inconvenienced. Darius, of course, could very easily have found himself dropped off at the Training Center with no warning and no explanation because Snow was using him specifically to rattle Katniss, but I would think this would be out of the norm. Hope you don't mind this observation.
For a lack of a more accurate verb, I enjoyed reading every word - disturbing material, couldn't imagine it written any better.
But you cheated adding a chapter after that first night after the 75th reaping - I was expecting a portrayal of life waiting on the tributes, maybe even their... imprisonment after the Quarter Quell escape. Always leave them wanting more, eh? Well done.
| jmint945 chapter 6 . 1/4
I enjoyed it and will read your other stories. I like to read fanfics about the characters that are little known.
| jmint945 chapter 3 . 1/4
Wow, you had some very technical terms. I actually had to google the muscles of the tongue because I wanted to find out what you were talking about. You definitely know your facts. I am really enjoying the story.
| digitalpcock chapter 6 . 12/5/2013
This... is deserving of angst/horror. (
I feel so bad for enjoying this.
| T.j.98 chapter 6 . 11/24/2013
A very good read, it was as chilling as expected.
It is very apparent that you did your research on the medical science behind the 'procedure'. The parallels between Avox making and antebellum slavery make it more realistic (I recognized the connection when they forced Darius to give up his name). The scene where Darius is gang raped by guards adds all the more horror to the plight of Avox,even more that the two Capitol citizens arguing over who gets to rape him first.
I especially like how you were able to write this without over-describing the torture scenes. All the more better that it's to the point. I will continue to read your other stories, as your literary talent is obvious.
| hoshiakari7 chapter 6 . 11/24/2013
Just as gnarly as I imagined it would be. However, also rather informative and glad that it featured Darius. Great job!
| KingAlanI chapter 5 . 9/1/2013
More of Darius’ twisted adventures, and a heartbreaking return to the alternate POV of canon approach. Interesting idea to intertwine the Capitol BS and truth rather than alternating large blocks of each.
“with the appearance that she has, I don't have to worry about it going other places” – I like the bit of regular humor, perhaps jarring because of the context.
| KingAlanI chapter 3 . 9/1/2013
I wonder what ‘usual physical trauma’ is? The jail torture or something part of Peacekeeper conditioning?
It sounds like they’re making a prostitute out of him
The dispassionate medical details are interesting – not only as one aspect of the Capitol propaganda angle, but as you making it clear you did research. This is the most unsettling part so far, but I’m squeamish about blood and such in general.
I always figured the Capitol would make the tongue removal clean and safe to keep their slaves in good working order.