|Reviews for Superwomen of Eva: Storm Bringer|
| Dragonjek chapter 4 . 5/8
Will you be doing a scene like the ambulance guy, when the paramedic picked up Thor's hammer and handed it to him? I thought that was beautiful, even if it was such a small scene.
I'm really interested in seeing who the teacher is going to be. And how it is apparently supposed to be superior to her existing training-sure, I don't think she trained to use a short-hafted hammer, but she's been taught how to fight and been prepared for combat her entire life. Her powers need refining, I suppose, and learning hot to take advantage of superior strength and flight...
Is Storm Bringer still too heavy for her to use in melee effectively at the moment? If so, any training she does with it now will get completely undone when it lightens enough to be useful. Weapon heft is really important in training, and just the difference between a wooden weapon and a metal one can really throw you off-and this is a much bigger difference.
But wow, Maria is pretty bitchy, isn't she? I mean, she got most upset at Skurge over him overlooking her for Rebecca... srsly? It's only her reactions afterwards and her fierce affection towards Rebecca that have made her relatable. But Rebecca... while Rebecca might care for Maria in return, she doesn't actually know Maria at all, does she? It's sad, but it's actually a rather one-sided love. Rebecca just knows the person Maria pretends to be.
I don't see how Maria would start being heroic. She seems pretty selfish. I suppose getting to the more crime-ridden Tokyo-3 would be a start (especially with how isolated her current base is).
How will things be when Maria meets Asuka? They're each other's polar opposite. One of the reasons that Asuka is so frustrated by Shinji is that he's actually a pretty good pilot and has number of victories, but has no pride or confidence-he isn't nearly the "superior" type of peer she was looking for in another Eva pilot. Maria doesn't pretend to be *quite* as bad as Shinji really is (and she actually has the same training as Asuka), but still...
Speaking of which, what would MARIA think of Shinji? She seems annoyed at him already for syncing higher than her, but what will his humility and nonpride over it do to her? Will she assume he's like her and acting, secretly a prideful git behind his public face? What would she think if she sees that he really doesn't find any pride in his own abilities, or see anything particularly superior about being an Eva pilot? Or when she learns that he actually hate/fears Eva?
On a related note, you'll need to find some way to bring Shinji into this story relatively quickly. This is still a romance story, and spreading Shinji/Maria interactions over the course of the story, you risk making the love seem rushed.
Although I wonder-will Shinji love Maria, or the mask she shows the world?
Like everything else, I enjoyed the story and hope to see you return to writing!
| Mike313 chapter 3 . 4/5/2014
I know I already said this on DA, but my condolences for the passing of your mother.
Now, on to the review.
I think the biggest problem right now is that you're dealing with a fairly unusual problem for a fan fic author here, namely that most people don't know who Maria is, or care about her for that matter. Having Misato and Ritsuko was nice, showed that we're still in the world of NGE, but the scene didn't feel all that relevant really. Also, I realize this is by design, but Maria's not the most likable character. This combined with how unfamiliar she is makes it a bit difficult to get invested in her.
| 1337 chapter 2 . 9/12/2013
heres one Stormbreaker like Beta Ray Bills hammer that could work. Besides Stormbreaker was A copy of Mjolnir.
| Mabra46268 chapter 2 . 8/26/2013
I suppose is some circumstances Amora can be heroic. After all, she is not the type of of villain that wants to destroy the world.
So you are using an obscure Evangelion character as your heroine. You might want to look up an obscure Marvel character called Beta Ray Bill. He was an alien warrior that once battled Thor to a standstill. He managed to separate Thor from Mjolnir. He was able to pick up and use Mjolnir because he was worthy. Odin eventually gave him an equivalent weapon, a golden hammer called Stormbreaker.
Can't wait to see Thor's plan and what Odin and the other Asgardians are up to in this story.
| Fox Boss chapter 2 . 8/25/2013
Nice job making Amora a heroine, at least somewhat.
| Twilight Nexus chapter 2 . 8/19/2013
So Thor himself still exist in the SoE universe? Now I am interested in this story even more. My only complaint is that Maria not being to tell how Amora was going to hide Storm Bringer seemed out of character for someone with a PhD such as herself. An odd complaint, I know, but that's just me.
As for Maria heroic identify, I'm also not a fan of the name Thor Girl. So my vote goes to Thunderstrike.
| animefan29 chapter 1 . 8/19/2013
So Thor this time? Yeah I can see that as a hero that can take down giant monsters like Angels. But who is the main character
| IncandescentOne chapter 1 . 8/13/2013
Awesome, the 'thing' was totally Mjollnir, i guess the guy was an ice giant? Dunno who the woman was butt i'm not up on Thor characters : /
looking forward to seeing where this one goes :D
| Neferius chapter 1 . 8/10/2013
Blank slate characters are a double edged sword for me. Sure you can mold them to what you need them to be, but integrating them into canon is my weakness. You've done well so far, I can't wait to see more.
| Twilight Nexus chapter 1 . 8/9/2013
I see you're going to use Thor Girl as the next identity for Superwomen of Eva. Excellent choice, and I am interested to see what you will do with Amora and The Executioner. Looking forward to seeing another SoE story.
| Ant Crown chapter 1 . 8/9/2013
Why did I hear JAM Project's Storm Bringer in my head reading this?
| Tibricel Tibby chapter 1 . 8/9/2013
Never a big fan of Thor but I really like whats happening so far. I would like to see all the Alt, universe Eva characters get a little action and get to be see by people. You have some great story's, I think I have read most of the SOE story's so far can't wait for more.
| kingkaino1 chapter 1 . 8/9/2013
Nice start !