Reviews for Halkegenia Online v2
PredatorPuck chapter 51 . 7h ago
yeah! Gandalfr!
ironboy32 chapter 1 . 3/16
I saw that naruto reference in chapter 1. Blonde haired kino wearing a orange jumpsuit in a paragraph talking about ramen? Well played, sir, well played...
shamanic demonator chapter 37 . 3/6
Sherlock Mortimer is awesome! Didn't really like him much when he covered the info about jack, but Sherlock Mortimer, IQ 300, is so awesome! :)
shamanic demonator chapter 34 . 3/5
This the first time I felt anything other than annoyance at guiche! Love that he had some depth now, improved my view of him tremendously. Kind of like him now :)
dreaddragonknight chapter 39 . 2/21
this was brilliant and u r an awesome writer... i just. couldn't. stop. laughing. hahahaha
dreaddragonknight chapter 31 . 2/20
yeah those mages wouldn't last 5mins against one of those 2 much less both
dreaddragonknight chapter 29 . 2/20
dear god... if i wasn't already so interested in being an imp i would be a sprigan
Guest chapter 9 . 2/8
Klein and his hilariously bad luck with women. They're all too young, too dangerous, or Kirito's sister. Or some combo thereof.
marduk-report chapter 58 . 11/25/2014
I enjoyed this arc. The interwoven plots made it considrrably more interesting to read, raising the quality of the story as a whole.
marduk-report chapter 14 . 11/22/2014
So...morgiana is pregnant, isn't she?
Vasuki chapter 37 . 11/15/2014
Your character development is so damn goooooooddddd.
Psieye chapter 58 . 10/15/2014
Ok, that's the first time you made me stop reading. The Jotunheim section - what purpose did it serve? This is the epilogue. If it was meant to serve as some preview to where we'd go next volume, it shouldn't have been more than 8 paragraphs long with a definite hook for "this will be relevant very soon". Instead, it's half the chapter in length and you didn't give me reason to care upfront. You waste those precious initial paragraphs regurgitating lore the reader can be trusted to already know or easily extrapolate. Even if they weren't aware of Jotunheim because they only watched S1 of the anime, they ought to know the mythology of Uror, Verdandi and Skuld.

Having established Skuld as your point of view character, you still don't give any hook to attach this section to your existing world. I skimmed from here onwards until this section was over. From what I could glean from the speed reading, the rest of the section was on fights we have no reason to care about right now. It was bad enough when Kirito was fighting a non-character for far too many words. Now you dump about as many words on non-characters fighting non-characters. Oh it seems Skuld joins the fight at some point. But we've been given no reason to care about her - she's disconnected from the world you've established. Maybe this section would have been passable in a prologue, but this is an epilogue.

Make no mistake: Jotunheim can be made highly relevant quite easily since you've started the Doom Countdown. This was bad handling with bad timing.

Now then, it's good you establish a strong Vittorio (the anime put out a weak charade to pose as the Pope). Julio's impulse initiative and the consequences was an excellent move. You mention the armoury without giving away exactly what you'll pull out from there. I kinda wish Vittorio's first meeting with Louise was a Show not a Tell but that's not a big issue. Louise's angst, new inner voices and talks with Heathcliff were good too. The HUD left-eye is neat but again I hate the HP bar - I'm a Dwarf Fortress player, we got rid of HP bars years ago.

One other detail: in chapter 51 you mention Void mages in history also having the rune rings. Now that you firmly establish Louise's Fae casting to be a unique thing, that detail in the past will demand a long explanation. Better to just delete that ch51 sentence, the narrative won't lose anything as a result.
Psieye chapter 56 . 10/15/2014
Ah... bad cliffhanger last chapter. You rewind far back in time and don't actually get to the bump even though it becomes really obvious what the bump will be. Better to end it at "Be careful!" and then make the bump a surprise instead of a petered out statement of obvious.

Aside from that, excellent world building - the age discrepency, the sewer mobs and pregnancy. Yes, our first Fae baby has to be from a famous face.
Psieye chapter 55 . 10/15/2014
Not-Cardinal-chan and Yui. A most pleasing scene. Good to see Arrun's developments calmly mentioned in the background.
Psieye chapter 54 . 10/15/2014
Ah, Ephi will be travelling to Gallia (because Germania would be boring). I will expect great things from meeting with the Elemental Siblings. Or perhaps you'd send him through Gallia and into Elf lands? Whatever you choose, you've made yourself an excellent villain. Put him to good use. I have a feeling you're not quite done with Chadrick et al either.
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