Reviews for Accident
IpiuGate chapter 5 . 10/21/2016
This is funny. I like Shinso. Also Toshiro would have no way of knowing if Shinso came up with an idea rather than Gin. Technically they are the same person, Shinso wouldn't exist without Gin
Yemi Hikari chapter 5 . 11/10/2013
While you need to work on the formatting I love the ending. :D
ZakuroU chapter 5 . 11/7/2013
Maaaaaww. Such a fluffy end. I wonder why everyone's zanpaku-to sound so stupid all the time.
I don't know… I think I'd be very annoyed if my sword were as obnoxious as Shinso.
Good job! That's the end!
Guest chapter 5 . 11/5/2013
Love it 3
blood87 chapter 5 . 11/5/2013
I enjoyed reading your story.
forever122 chapter 5 . 11/5/2013
Poor you! Yemi Hikari is awesome, isn't she? I loved this story! It's always sad when a good story comes to an end. Maybe you should make a sequal. Mr. Fluffy Icicle? HAHAHAHA! That was good. Gin's speech was really well written. The omake is funny too. Hope to see more of yout work!
ZakuroU chapter 3 . 10/8/2013
Heyllo! Got your review; I hope you get this!
I got you a birthday present! You'll get it as soon as school's back. Hope to see you soon, Toshi! I got books 26 and 27 of Fullmetal Alchemist, and I'm going mad on the inside. (AAAAH! IT'S THE END OF THE SERIES!)
Yemi Hikari chapter 4 . 10/7/2013
While I love the twist the execution was really rough making it hard for me to believe. Still, you did originally intend this to be a one-shot originally. How though to explain why the twist feels so rough to you, particularly since I'm having problems pinpointing the exact problem. Well, it might be because you pushed the "story" Matsumoto had to tell to far, or its because it feels like it is missing something. Anyways... look forward to the next chapter. I kind of drift though just to forewarn you.
Yemi Hikari chapter 3 . 10/7/2013
I loved Shinso and Gin's interactions. I think Toshiro bounced back a little to quickly. I think that's what makes him OoC, not the fact he is having a mental break down. Keep this in mind. If a character is having out of character moments because of a logical reason or because of character development they are IC, not OoC.
Yemi Hikari chapter 2 . 10/7/2013
So, while I like your story you really need to work on your writing technique... aka the grammar. One thing positive thing though is your story is quick to read and would also be easy to read if you didn't have the issues you did. Toshiro being reduced to a childish state and being in such denial, honestly love it.
Yemi Hikari chapter 1 . 10/7/2013
I liked how this chapter started out. I can see Ran not wanting Toshiro despite the fact I have her wanting him in a good deal of my stories. I felt though Ran whining and begging Gin to stay and abandon their child was out of character for her. She wouldn't have been whispering but instead losing her temper at him. I also have problems believing that Toshiro could preform kido at such a young age. Yes... he's a child genius. That though really pushes it. The last thing that stood out was the grammar. Please work on your grammar. Sometimes it is hard to tell who is speaking. Other times you drop punctuation. There are a lot of one line sentences as well. This isn't to say I don't like the story, but there are things you need to work on.
ZakuroU chapter 4 . 9/25/2013
Nyeheheh. Shinso.
Hi, Toshi. This chapter was good. I had cold rolls for dinner. See you.
(Boringest review ever. Have no more to add. Apologies.
Guest chapter 3 . 9/20/2013
I love it
forever122 chapter 4 . 9/20/2013
Yeah! I'm your friend! So happy! Please continue this tory and your other one! They are both so great!
haeye chapter 4 . 9/20/2013
Oh, poor Toshi. What a horrible dream. Good thing mom and dad were there.
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