|Reviews for Gravel on the Ground: From the Ashes|
| longlivelunabellatrix chapter 1 . 8/10
Hi! I'm finally here with your requested review!
Man, your author's note, it created some high expectations for me. :P And I know this has only just got going, but it's so promising! I get this strange Sorcerer's Stone/Philosopher's Stone vibe here. Small kid alone in the world (literally, this time), having a really rough time, has glasses, saved by magic? I'm in!
Needless to say, you did a great job of creating a lot of sympathy and a lot of intrigue for this girl. We don't even know her name! I'm dying to know how she came to be in such a tough spot, though she at least seems to be able to more or less fend for herself. I can't quite gauge how old she is, though. I feel like somewhere in the 8-12 range? I don't think it's that important to know exactly, and she clearly isn't 4 nor is she 20, but I guess I'll see. Maybe she's 11, prime Hogwarts age, that seems like a reasonable educational guess for me to make. Well, then again, it's set in America, so...
I love the subtle Animagus thing going on at the end. But who is the lady?! When she first appeared I had this strange hunch that she was Mrs. Figg :P Then that was out, because Mrs. Figg is a Squib, right? And it can't be McGonagall, McGonagall wouldn't put on bright pink galoshes if her life depended on it! And, again, this is America. So I'm extremely curious to see about that as well.
I'm especially intrigued by the fact that the girl seems to recognize the woman's wand and know more or less what it does, that was a good detail.
There wasn't anything that jumped out at me as desperately needing fixing, not that I'm surprised. I think this is an engaging first chapter and definitely reeled me in. If you have a strong desire to expand it by three or four hundred words, I think it can definitely sustain that. It moves quickly as is, very quickly, so it wouldn't drag it down too much to have a little more. I'm definitely not saying that it was too vague. But a few more details on the girl's situation might be helpful, because right now it reads like a lot of other stories that feature homeless children: they're cold and tired and have to learn how to go without food. I would be curious to get in her head a little bit more, and see how well she knows the area, why she didn't go looking for another source of food, if she's planning how to get food tomorrow, that sort of thing. I'm also kind of curious to know what year it is, or when it's set, but I also can go peek and see what era you've set it in, because I've already forgotten!
Can I ask one thing? Why did you choose to request a review for this story? It seems like a well-reviewed and well-liked story, and has clearly been in the works for years and years. What made you want to hear more about it now?
Overall, a strong first chapter, I'm sure it's followed by strong story!
| Sai Pie chapter 12 . 5/12
Thank you thank you thank you 3 :* Come back soon!
| jjellybeans chapter 5 . 3/23
I'm so excited to see what unfolds in the next chapters. The character interaction is so realistic - this story makes me smile and I feel so much love from the Weasleys :)
| jjellybeans chapter 2 . 3/22
I AM LOVING THIS SO FAR - such raw, and deep emotions spilling from each descriptive word! The feelings you give your reader are so vivid .. you are an amazing writer.
| monkey87 chapter 12 . 2/10
I absolutely adore your story! Especially chapter 12. Fred and Sadie with the pie, and his little rhyme - it was just so sweet! I had many fangirl moments, I must say. It's so hard to describe the amount of both warmth and chill your writing has, it's amazing! However, the secrets of Sadie that still haven't come out (like the marks and the glasses) are tantalizingly irritable! But I suppose that's how every reader should feel because then that means the author has done a fantastic job for supplying a perfect story. I cannot wait until you post another chapter! I am so excited! One of the best FRED/OC's I've read in quite some time keep up the good work.
| Fionamoi chapter 12 . 1/27
This is adorable!
I'm loving Fred, and the way you're giving he the more serious characteristics without taking away for the messing or completely taking him away from George :)
Please update again soon!
| smuffly chapter 12 . 1/27
I remember the snippets of this that you showed me and it's such a treat to read it in its entirety. It's heart-warming and so charming. The more I read your writing about the twins, the more you endear them to me, especially Fred. Especially here. This chapter was perfect. Well done.
| diing to know wh chapter 11 . 11/10/2015
what? what next? i promise i'll write you a critical essay on this if you finish this masterpiece. what NEXT? :'( :'(
| Pretty little th chapter 11 . 10/15/2015
Hey you're a great writer, Farmgirl. Please tell us what happens next? What's a bother, Plot problems or something?
| Sai Pie chapter 11 . 10/4/2015
Oh, man. What plans do the twins have for sadie? 3
| Sai Pie chapter 10 . 9/30/2015
Hey what are those books about that Fred and George buy? Oh my god, you're evil for haulting this brilliant piece of art! That's what it is, art!
| Sai Pie chapter 11 . 9/27/2015
Hey, please come back. I just cannot wait to know what happens next! :)
| Sai Pie chapter 11 . 9/24/2015
Hey I'm back, persevering. Please come back.
And I'm leaving a poem here for you, on child adoption that I really like.
"Not flesh of my flesh"
Not flesh of my flesh
Nor bone of my bone,
But still miraculously my own.
Never forget for a single minute,
You didn't grow under my heart,
But in it.
Author: Fleur Conkling Heyliger
| Sai Pie chapter 11 . 9/23/2015
I decided I'll leave you a note every night (Night in India) just to make sure you realise how much your work is admired by many around the globe. I'd like you to continue writing till you stop figuring how the plot must go on.
| Sai Pie chapter 11 . 9/22/2015
Hey buddy, what's next man! I hope you know the world's reading this? Well, I bet you Fred Weasley's heart (yo, you makin' me hit hard on that boy) I live on the other side of the earth. And, hey, you're doing a great injustice. get back and update, yeah?