Reviews for Never Alone Again
Kimminerd chapter 1 . 8/21/2013
:) i like it
Aeternix chapter 1 . 8/15/2013
"He didn't have to be alone any more."
A short and quite cute little story that worked well in the fabric of the story. I enjoyed the interplay between the two characters and descriptions of the events. This seemed a lot like flash fiction and was short and to the point in its storytelling. It wasted no time in getting to its main purpose, which I appreciate.
Some mistakes I found:
- "Thomas was Alone." "Alone" shouldn't be capitalized.
- "He didn't have to be alone any more." "Any more" should be anymore.
- " Thinking about them too long sent shivers up his spine" The phrase "shivers up his spine" is more in line with an organic being, not an artificial one who is represented by a block. You do a great job of switching these idioms with ones that better represent shapes, so this stuck out.
- The whole "I love you" scene, though cute, was a but abrupt and quick. A bit more time spent would've made it come across better.
I hope you wish to write more in this amazing universe!