Reviews for Changing Fates
DarkVoid116 chapter 4 . 11/8/2013
Gohan was quite cruel there, gotta say. Can't exactly blame him considering the harsh world he lives in... but still, that was over the top to me.

I also think this moved too fast. Videl learned how to control her ki and use ki blasts really, really quickly. Oh well.

I wonder how Videl & Gohan's relationship will progress? Will the end of this chapter damage their long-term outlook? Hope not.

Nice chapter.
iHeartGohan chapter 4 . 11/8/2013
Awesome :) can't wait for another chapter!
dcp1992 chapter 4 . 11/6/2013
Great chapter! Glad to see the training with Gohan and Videl and also Videl finding her energy. Cannot wait to see how both of there training progresses. The end was kinda sad, i feel bad for Videl, but it is true... You have to toughen up to survive in a time like that. Update soon!
boboleta chapter 4 . 10/23/2013
What I think is wrong with your reasoning, is that you think that a movie is the same as a book. It's not. I get that you have to write in the present tense for a movie's screenplay, for example. It is immediate, the character is living the events as the action progresses. But the problem is that we are the movie goers. We are the readers. We are not the character. A movie is that accident you just had on the freeway. A book is you telling what happened to your friend.

It's awesome when you can get a reader to step into the character's shoes, but a halfway astute reader will always be aware that the events are not happening right now. Seeing stuff written as if they were, is like you are forcing us to believe that to be true, but when I take my eyes off the page (or the monitor, in this case), I'm still in my living room. Gohan is not there, in front of me. Reading a fiction novel will always need some kind of suspension of disbelief, since I know the story isn't true, but it takes an extra ounce of suspension for me to pretend things are actually, not only happening, but unfolding right now, as well.

"You wouldn't write an entire story in the past tense." Yes, you would. The major percentage of stories written worldwide are in the past tense. Best-sellers and crappy romances alike. The present tense ones are an infinitesimal part of the literary world. They exist, of course, and there's nothing wrong if you choose to write them in that tense, but don't say you HAVE to write in that tense. It's your choice as an author to do so.

I don't know if you ever read John Updike's "Rabbit Run" (I haven't, but I do my research). It's one of the first novels ever written in the Present Tense. This is what he said about his choice of writing it in that tense: "It was subtitled, in my conception of it, 'A Movie'; I imagined the opening scene as something that would happen behind credits, and I saw the present tense of the book as corresponding to the present tense in which we experience the cinema." Does that ring a bell? Present Tense is awesome for a screenplay, not necessarily for a book.

Finally, I just wanted to say this: I have nothing against you choosing the Present Tense, but what irks ME (your word) is that you actually think it's the readers' fault that they "didn't quite grasp it". Maybe readers didn't get that Trunks was old exactly because they were just skimming, as you state, but how is that their fault? If a book doesn't get me hooked up on its story, is it my fault? You should definitely reassess some stuff, in my opinion, but I wish you the best with it.
DarkVoid116 chapter 3 . 10/20/2013
It's a solid enough chapter, albeit moving a little slowly. The tense stuff is fixed in this chapter, but I'm not sure how I really like the primal urges stuff. I can live with it and it won't make me dislike the story any, but I still ain't crazy about it.

Trunkten teaching Gohan what it takes to be a warrior is nice & refreshing. The Androids are gonna eventually pay hell for what they've done, but it is certainly going to take a lot of time.

Good chapter. Can't wait for GhVi goodness.
DarkVoid116 chapter 2 . 10/20/2013
Wow, an anticlimactic death for Hercule if there ever was one. Trunks...where is the actual Trunks of this timeline, by the way?

Videl, who I am assuming is the girl, is going to be distraught after that. I hope Gohan and Videl get off on the right foot since he saved her.

Korin being alive and soon replenishing the stash of Senzu beans makes me fairly happy.

Great job on this so far. A second small qualm- do you have to use present tense? It sounds almost like a script for a play since it's not in past tense. It should be more like retelling a story than writing a play.

Good chapter.
DarkVoid116 chapter 1 . 10/20/2013
I'm super, super confused. I'm excited by the prospect of another new Mirai timeline fic (I've read Imagine Dragons and World Not Ours fairly recently as well) but this still confuses me.

Who is Trunkten? Older Trunks from canon timeline?

All in all, an intriguing first chapter to this story. I am very curious how this will become Gohan/Videl.

Also, not a big thing, but you should stick to either "Seventeen, Eighteen" or "17, 18" and the numbers are officially their names, not just numbers. Sticking to one spelling simply makes everything clearer and more concise.

Excellent story.
Guest chapter 3 . 8/31/2013
Where is future trunks in this story. What? Gohan is 15? So trunks is 6?
angel.nieves.1656 chapter 3 . 8/31/2013
Dang this story is getting good! And Holy Crap 5 children and 16 grandchildren! This guy has been everywhere! He seems to have a lot of capsules on him, it looks like he came to help Gohan well prepared and thought out all of the necessities that they would need. At least he most likely won't get blindsided by not having something they would need.
Can't wait for the next chapter and see how this goes. ALSO…I CAN'T WAIT FOR GOHAN TO GO SUPER SAIYAN!
Sorry, just thought I'd say that now :]
maesde chapter 3 . 8/28/2013
liked it allright :D update soon!
Rebmul chapter 3 . 8/28/2013
very nice hopefully gohan can keep it in his pants
dcp1992 chapter 3 . 8/28/2013
GReat chapter! I was wondering the ages. Glad to know Gohan and Videl are both 15, might be a little more interesting. Update soon, I can see they are already getting along. I also loved the comment by Trunks about Gohan thinking about or him making love with Videl.

I love future G/V stories, there is not enough of them.
maesde chapter 2 . 8/26/2013
Continue soon, great idea for a fic!
angel.nieves.1656 chapter 2 . 8/19/2013
Very cool story very cool. Like the idea of Trunks coming back to the Future Past and helping Gohan get stronger. Does that mean he will meet his younger self or is the Future Trunks not that old yet?
Speaking of which how old is Gohan in this? He has to be at least Cell Saga age to be a Super Saiyan and for everyone to be dead but is it later than that where he looks like the Future Gohan from canon?
Nice job in bringing in Korin. Like hoe Trunks had the foresight to bring Senzu's and help him out. And then it was cool to bring in Videl and Hercule the way you did. Although you did say a family of three but only talked about Hercule and Videl. Thought I'd point that out in case someone else yells at you for it.
Would love to see where this goes :]
dcp1992 chapter 2 . 8/16/2013
Great chapter! Glad to see Videl so soon, didn't know when you were going to introduce her, glad it was earlier than later. Update soon!
47 | « Prev Page 1 .. 2 3 4 Next »