That was good. Keep writing.

hey very nice. how long have you been writing? even if you dont eijis attacks you did really well. good job .continue it!

Not bad, but it could have been longer. What I want to say is, this might have been even better if you'd worked it out a little bit more. A story also lives from the words that aren't really importand but are there just to make it sound better. But it was good so far, and here aren't many toshinden fics which makes it it efen better. Will you continue this?